Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April When conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- And took the ticket and said April Fool. I have pass.

Sardar writing a letter 2 his friend

My sis had a baby this morning. I don know whether it is a boy or a girl. So i don know whether i am now an Uncle or Aunty.

TICKET  TICKET…

Sardar: Should i buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.

Sardar: Thank god i have only 6 children. 

Two Sardars were walking together…
Pehla: Oye marr gaye. Meri biwi aur meri premika ek saath aa rahi hain..
Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha….

A Sardar enters shop & shouts, “Where’s my free gift with this oil?”
Shopkeeper: “ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab”
Sard : “Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL

Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-
udhar
chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge…. think………….
“SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI HAI”

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,
WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel
and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and
exclaimed” ari sala, aaj to choice hai”!!!!!!

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet – Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

“Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour “. “But yaar “, he says,

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says “Yes”.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says “I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder”.

How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?
Shoot the men who are pushing it.
How do you disable a Pakistani tank?
Hide the wind-up key.
How do you disable Pakistani missiles?
Cut the rubber band.
Pakistani Air Force officials have recently motioned for a name change for the PAF.
They want to call it the PMC, the Pakistani Mining Corps. This is because their planes
end up in the ground anyway.
Pakistani military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of the
hatches on tanks and other armoured vehicles. This is so they can be more easily
abandoned in enemy territory.
Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes?
Neither has Pakistan.
Did you hear about the latest Pakistani invention?
It’s a solar powered flashlight.
Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention?
The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.
How do you sink a Pakistani battleship?
Put it in water.
Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi?
The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies.
Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea?
Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave.
Did you hear about the other tragedy in Karachi ?
There was a terrible power cut in Karachi’s Four Square Shopping Mall. People were
stuck on the escalator for four hours.
Did you hear about the Pakistani family that froze to death outside a theatre ? They
were waiting to see the movie “Closed for the winter”.
Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash ?
The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.
Why do Pakistani dogs have flat noses ?
They get it from chasing parked cars.
Did you hear about the Pakistani who studied diligently for five days ?
He was scheduled to take a medical test.
Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ?
Somebody stole the book.

Sardar Santa Singhji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned
for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the
inspector decided to visit the english class. This is what transpires :
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA ”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA ”
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA ”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA ”
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI”
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH ”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH”
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him
“What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA ,GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE
PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH. The principle too is shocked , Santa
Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for Santa Singh.
Principal : ” Santa singhji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA ,
GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA
DESH”.
Santa Singh : “Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students
the spellings of assassination.:- Ass-Ass-I-Nation

There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of
discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They
selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and
waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed
but noboby turned up.
WHY ? -
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance “Visitors not allowed.”
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought
the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their
garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY ?
B’cos their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought
a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew
past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet
nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there
nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but
alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ?
B’cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their
taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi.
They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even
an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the
story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but
the taxi wouldnt budge.
WHY ?
B’cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.