Funny SMS & SMS Jokes » Sardar Jokes SMS

You are seeing my wife..

Rahul — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:16:22 +0000

Sardarji & his wife going to city in auto.

Driver adjusted miror.

Sardarji shouted you are seeing my wife.

Go & sit back. I will drive auto…

Train Journey

Rahul — Sun, 25 Apr 2010 18:15:21 +0000

Sardar: I hav’nt slept all nite in the train.

Friend: Why?

Sardar: Got upper berth.

Friend: Why did’nt you exchanged?

Sardar: oye, there was nobody

2 exchange in the lower birth.

Sardarji Jokes

Rahul — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 18:40:48 +0000

Aik Larki ne apni Jeans utar di

or sardar je se boli:

“Muje biwi honay ka Ehsas dilao”

sardar ne bhe Jeans utaar de or bola:

Jao ye dono Jeans dho kar lao”

Patni Chahiye…

Rahul — Sun, 07 Feb 2010 09:10:01 +0000

A sardar gave an Ad in matrimonial column
“PATNI CHAHIYE”

He got 1000 replies all saying– ‘Meri Le JA. …

Sardar Jokes

Rahul — Thu, 25 Jun 2009 16:23:27 +0000

Newspaper Mein News Lagi K
50% Of Sardars Are Donkey
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys
The Sardars Celebrated.

Silly Sardar ji …..insane but hilarious jokes…

Rahul — Sun, 21 Jun 2009 07:44:25 +0000

A Sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go
to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which
happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is
another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns
to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same
sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he’s made 20 trips to the
bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he
finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC
(Ticket Checker) what’s been going on. The TC, which also happens to
be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The
TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out.

Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar “I’m sorry, I
can’t do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member”.

Sardar Jokes

Rahul — Sun, 05 Apr 2009 09:37:32 +0000

Sardar ji was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote: Yes

A Teacher lecturing on population -
In india after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up – we must find & stop her

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of “WIFE.”
It means…Without Information Fighting Every time!
WIFE says No, it means – With Idiot for Ever

A sardar ji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.
He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister

Shortest Story !

Rahul — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 17:55:29 +0000

This is a sample Iris Question Paper, From the Ministry of Education, Ireland.
Before you rush to the answer sheet, try to crack some knuckle to find our the answer.
The Time allowed is 1 minute. ( You can take more time if you promise to not tell anyone! )
The Question Sheet

Sardar Jokes SMS

Rahul — Tue, 31 Mar 2009 16:56:39 +0000

A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
party.. he introduced his family to his friends
saying..” I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee …
this is my kid and that is my kidney…!!”

American says “US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..”
Sardarji ” India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…!!!”
Nurse – “Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye..”
Sardarji – ” Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use
surprise doonga..!”

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ………
Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai……
Doosari bigadati hai to “SHUROO’ ho jati hai

Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis leke aaya hai,
ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.

Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai….

Sardar found answer to most difficult question question ever
What comes first – the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

Sardar Jokes Collections

Rahul — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 17:47:34 +0000

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

April Fool Special Sardar Jokes

Rahul — Wed, 18 Mar 2009 10:36:33 +0000

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April When conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- And took the ticket and said April Fool. I have pass.

sardar jokes

Rahul — Mon, 02 Mar 2009 15:57:50 +0000

Sardar writing a letter 2 his friend

My sis had a baby this morning. I don know whether it is a boy or a girl. So i don know whether i am now an Uncle or Aunty.

sardar jokes

Rahul — Sun, 01 Mar 2009 07:12:52 +0000

TICKETÂ TICKET…

Sardar: Should i buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.

Sardar: Thank god i have only 6 children.Â

Sardar Jokes

Rahul — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:53:21 +0000

Two Sardars were walking together…
Pehla: Oye marr gaye. Meri biwi aur meri premika ek saath aa rahi hain..
Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha….

Sardar Jokes

Rahul — Thu, 27 Nov 2008 15:52:47 +0000

A Sardar enters shop & shouts, “Where’s my free gift with this oil?”
Shopkeeper: “ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab”
Sard : “Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL

Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-
udhar
chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge…. think………….
“SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI HAI”

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,
WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel
and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and
exclaimed” ari sala, aaj to choice hai”!!!!!!

Sardar Jokes

Rahul — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 09:19:27 +0000

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet – Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

“Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour “. “But yaar “, he says,

Sardarji in Delhi

Rahul — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 16:58:51 +0000

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says “Yes”.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says “I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder”.

SOME SECRETS OF PAKISTAN ARMY

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:47:54 +0000

How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?
Shoot the men who are pushing it.
How do you disable a Pakistani tank?
Hide the wind-up key.
How do you disable Pakistani missiles?
Cut the rubber band.
Pakistani Air Force officials have recently motioned for a name change for the PAF.
They want to call it the PMC, the Pakistani Mining Corps. This is because their planes
end up in the ground anyway.
Pakistani military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of the
hatches on tanks and other armoured vehicles. This is so they can be more easily
abandoned in enemy territory.
Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes?
Neither has Pakistan.
Did you hear about the latest Pakistani invention?
It’s a solar powered flashlight.
Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention?
The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.
How do you sink a Pakistani battleship?
Put it in water.
Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi?
The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies.
Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea?
Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave.
Did you hear about the other tragedy in Karachi ?
There was a terrible power cut in Karachi’s Four Square Shopping Mall. People were
stuck on the escalator for four hours.
Did you hear about the Pakistani family that froze to death outside a theatre ? They
were waiting to see the movie “Closed for the winter”.
Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash ?
The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.
Why do Pakistani dogs have flat noses ?
They get it from chasing parked cars.
Did you hear about the Pakistani who studied diligently for five days ?
He was scheduled to take a medical test.
Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ?
Somebody stole the book.

SANTA SING AND STUDENTS

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:46:48 +0000

Sardar Santa Singhji is the english teacher in a school. He is very well renowned
for all his students do very well in exams. The school is having an inspection and the
inspector decided to visit the english class. This is what transpires :
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA ”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA ”
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA ”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA ”
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI”
Santa Singh : ” Bolo bachon GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH ”
Students (in chorous) : “GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE PECHE
MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH”
By this time the inspector is furious . He confronts the principal and shouts at him
“What is this Santa Singh teaching to students. He is supposed to be taking an english class and what he is saying is GADHA ,GADHE KE PECHE GADHA , GADHE KE
PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA DESH. The principle too is shocked , Santa
Singh the famous english teacher doing this. He immediately sends for Santa Singh.
Principal : ” Santa singhji what nonsense are you telling these students, GADHA ,
GADHE KE PECHE GADHA, GADHE KE PECHE MAI AUR MERE PECHE SAARA
DESH”.
Santa Singh : “Yes i was telling all this in class, but i was only teaching the students
the spellings of assassination.:- Ass-Ass-I-Nation

THE 4 SARDARJIS

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:45:49 +0000

There were 4 sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.They had a lot of
discussions on the type of business and finally decided to start a hotel. They
selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer. The sardars waited and
waited but nobody turned up. The story was the same the next day. A week passed
but noboby turned up.
WHY ? -
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance “Visitors not allowed.”
After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage. They bought
the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered their
garage. They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.
WHY ?
B’cos their garage was on the first floor.
After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving. They bought
a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for passengers. They drew
past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi. They went to Nariman point yet
nobody hailed their taxi. They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there
nobody hailed their taxi. In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but
alas no one hailed their taxi.
WHY ?
B’cos all the four sardars were sitting in the taxi.
All the 4 sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push their
taxi into the sea at Marine Lines. They started pushing their taxi.
They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move even
an inch. They decided to rest for the night and start the next day. The next day the
story repeated itself. The taxi just wouldnt move. They pushed for a whole week but
the taxi wouldnt budge.
WHY ?
B’cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

TRAIN TO LUDHIANA

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:44:53 +0000

Sardars Hari Singh and Gani Singh are in a railway station. Hari Singh asks the clerk:
“Can I take this train to Ludhiana?”. “No,” answers the Railway man. “Can I?” asks
Gani Singh.

LONG FLIGHT

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:44:13 +0000

Sardarji calls Air India. “How long does it take to fly to Amritsar?”
“Just a sec,” comes an answer.
“Thank you.” says the Sardarji and hangs up!

CROCODILE BOOTS

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:43:32 +0000

Sardarji proposes to a woman. She says yes if you bring me a pair of crocodile boots.
He sets off to Africa and disappears. Finally a search is being made, they find him
hunting crocodiles and watch him killing a huge one . He walks over the reptile, checks
its legs and angrily exclaims “71st and *again* barefeet!”

COLOR TV

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:42:35 +0000

Sardarji is buying a TV.
“Do you have color TVs?”
“Sure.”
“Give me a green one, please.”

KHALISTAN JOKES

Rahul — Sun, 25 May 2008 17:41:42 +0000

Khalistan National Drink : Sarbat Khalsa.
Khalistan National Bird : Tandoori Chicken.
International Airline : Kitthe Pacific.
National Airline : Itthe Pacific.
National Anthem : Sten-a gun-a man-a ……….
National Taxi Service : Kar Seva.
National song : Bande marte hum.
Female terrorist : Hard Kaur.
National dish : AKALI-DAAL.
Sikh scuba diver : JULL-UNDER SINGH.
Better adapted sikh diver : JULLUNDER SINGH GILL.