SMS Jokes

Tussi Hasde yo sanu hasaan vaaste
Tussi rone yo saanu rovaan vaaste
Ek vaar rus ke ta vekho sohneyo
Marr javange tuhanu manaan vaaste.
Baisakhi da din hai khushiyan manaan vaaste.
Baisakhi Diyan Vadhiyan.

Khushi ke is pal mein ye dil bas muskuraye
Har gum bhula ke pyar bhare sapne sajaye
In hasin palo ki khushboo is dil ko bahut bhaye
Shaayad in palo ka sangam hi jannat kehlaye…
Happy Holi 2011

Jad v socha tera he khyal aave
Har taraf chehra tera he nazar aave,
Dil vicho bus ehi dua aave k
Tere jeha NAMUNA rabb hor na bnave

Hayo Rabba Tusi So Gaye?
Inni Jaldi?
Ji Ek Mint Ruko
Mainu Gudnite Te Wish Kar Len Do!
Goodnite Hai Ji!
O Tussi Chaho To Sweet DreaMs Bhi Daikh Lena…

“ Dasna tu vi nahi, Te kehna main v nahi!
Auna tu v nai, Te auna mai v nai!
Bolna tu v nai, Te sunna main v nai!
Par ik gal pakki yara!
Bhulna tu v nai, Te bhulna main v nai!!
”

“ Baah fadke rok lende
je chalda koi zor hunda
assi tere piche kyon rulde
je tere jeha koi hor hunda ”

“ Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,
Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!
”

“ Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya
”

“ Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe.
Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai.
”

“ J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !
”

“ Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han”
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?
”

“ Ishq da jisnu khwaab aa janda ae,
Waqt samjho khraab aa janda ae,
Mehboob aave ya na aave,
Par Taare ginan da hisaab aa janda ae!
”

“ tusi bade hi gr8 ho,
rasgulle ki pl8 ho,
pepsi ka cr8 ho,
ande ka oml8 ho,
SMS karane mein bade le8 ho,
jalebi ki tarah str8 ho,
kher jo bhi ho mere fever8 ho……. ”

“ Santa goes to a hotel and orders chiken
Waiter: french or spanish?
Santa: jehra margi le aa,
main kehra gallan karniya ne
buurrraaaaa! ”

“ har shayari sohni lagdi e jad naal kise de pyar hove,
ohda dard hakeem nahi jaan sakda jehra ishq vich bimar hove,
lagi wale ta mil aaunde chahe baitha yaar samundron paar hove,
duniya ta ki rabb v bhull janda jad sahmne baitha yaar hove.
”

“ kini khushi sajna tere aaun di c

kina dukh ve tere jaan lagya

dil sada pehla hi c mom varga

ik tu v ro peya sanu hasaun lagya ”

bunty baba ji

This one’s not just for Punjabis but for all those who have faced ‘Punjlish’.
A is for Aiscreame

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your butt. It is an
instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or
whatever.

C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its
first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. ‘Defence Cloney’.

D is for the proverbial ‘Dangar da Puttar’

E is for Expanditure, the spending of money

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is
actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame. (If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there’s no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder’s taxi.)

H is for ‘Ho Jayega Ji’, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s not going to happen.

I is for Intzaar, and to know more about it see P.

J is for Jutt, which every Punjabi seems to be.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc, the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses (e.g.’Keeping up with the Khuranas ji’)

L is for Loin, the king of the jungle

M is for ‘Mrooti’, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N is for ‘No Problem Ji.’ To find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy…).

P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he’ll reach you in punj mint (5 minutes…).

Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslateable into Punjabi.

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one (risk), even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Sunny, Simmi and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi . (The other half by their Pappas – like ‘Sweetie de Pappa di Gaddi’)

T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori Chickun.

U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncul-ji’

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is for Whan, as in ‘Whan are you coming, ji?’

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in Punjabi conversations.

Y is for ‘You nonsanse’, when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.

Z is for Zindgi which every Punjabi knows how to live to the fullest

Koi Kar Ke Shararat
Koi Kar Ke Shararat Tainu Daran Nu Ji Karda,Bhul Ke Dhuk Dard Mera Tainu Hasan Nu Ji Karda,Us Rab Naal
Nahi Vasta Koi, Mera Ta Tainu Rab Banaun Nu Ji Karda.

Shayad tu meri
Shayad tu meri nai hona, rab to vi vadh kar tenu pyar chuke haan..
Tenu teri pasand da mile saathi, asi ta koshisha kar himmat haar chuke haan…

Yari kisy naal
Yari kisy naal lawaayn tenu tad pata lagy,
Kity tor k nibhawyn tenu tad pata lagy,
Jehrian dukhan di kahani tu firdi sunaundi,
Kisy dukhi nu sunawayn tenu tad pata lagy.

Okha ho gia
Yadan terian nu pulna hum Okha ho gia,
Jo dity nay tu gham Ohna nu sehna Okha ho gia,
Tu jaaan lagy keh dita, Pul ja menu
Hun Ohna galaan nu pulana Okha ho gia.

Dost hon-te Hanjuan
Dost hon-te Hanjuan di vi shaan hundi hai,
Dost na hon-te mehfill vi shamshaan hundi ay,
Sara khed te dosti da aay, nai te Janaza te Baraat….
ik samaaan hundi ayy.

Asaan dil de yaar
Asaan dil de yaar mobile vich, tuhaady pyar di sim pwai ay,
keta load main card armanaan da
vich hijar di
bettery pai ay…..
nit hasrataan naal inno charge
kraindan…..
vich dard di tune bhrai ay…..
teri yaad de signal aonday ne…..
par call kaddy nai aai ay……..

tuwada ki nukaan
I am ne eat keetay panj sat (7) Ganney
Farmer jii ne sanoon puchiya y have u panney ganney
I am nay answer dita my dear kisaaan
panj sat ganiyan naal tuwada ki nukaan.

Press down 5 times
Press down 5 times to become sweet…
1
2
3
4
5
Tusi v ne?
Pehle hi inne sweet ho fir v press kittay ja rahay hoo…

Jadoon ve mobile
Jadoon ve mobile de tali aandi a.
maray dil de dharkan ruk jaandi a.
kisay da khyal dil vich onda a .
per jadoon yes karan lagna wan.
per
per
per
per
o tay miss call e ho jandi a

PANI VICH PATHAR
PANI VICH PATHAR NA MARYA KAR
IS PANI NU KOI HOR VI PEENDA HEGA
ZINDGI THODAE DIN DI HAI HAS KAI JIYA
KAR TENU VEKH KOI HOR VI ZINNDA HEGA

Tairai dil
Tairai dil di mitra tu jaane,
saade dil wich yaari tairi hai,
tu jinan chir saada yaar rahe ,
sanun onin umar bathairi hai.

Mitra Mitra
Ainvain rus ke naan saathon mukh mod mitra,
saada tairai to baigair kaida hor mitra,
uthi hundi hai umid jithae jor mitra,
tainun mairi nahin par mainun tairi lod mitra.

Nakhra hazaar kita
Asi Mobile on rakhya te tere SMS da intzaar kita,
Tere laryaan da etbaar kita,
Asi call karan lagyaan pal v na layaa,
Tusi SMS karan lagyaan nakhra hazaar kita.

Kalam pharke ohde
Kalam pharke ohde te kuch likhan lagga, das ohda bholapan likhan ya ohdi chaturai likhan,
Dona rahaan te ake mere hath ruk gaye, das ohda pyar likhan ya ohdi judai likhan,
Hasse lut ke oh dilan de haal puucchdi, das ohdi majburi likhaan ya bewafaai likhan.

Dil kare
Dil kare Geet Ban Ke Tere Bullan Te Aawan,
Dil Kare
Panchi Ban Ambari Udd Jaava,
Dil Kare
Banna Ek Taara Kade Chamka Kade Tutt Jaava,
Dil kare
Banna Teriyan Akhan De Hanjhoo Te Tere Saare Dukh Pee Jaava!

vakh-vakh ditta
Pyaar sab ne rabb nu vakh-vakh ditta,
kise nu lakh te kise nu kakh ditta,
Sahnu tuhade jeha yaar ditta,
lakh ton v sava-lakh ditta.

Mein pucheya
Mein pucheya rab nu: Tu jag pyaar da vairi kyun bana chadya?
Rab hasseya te boleya: Tu kehra mere naal changi kiti hai. Tu v taan yaar nu rab bana chadeya.

Tere naal dosti
Tere naal dosti akhri sah tak nibawange,
Tere pairan thalle assi ta talliyaan tikaawange,
Jado marzi parakh lai mere dosta,
Teri mashuk asi phasavange.

Bari warsi
Bari warsi khatan gia si,khat k lianda Pajama
jeda mera sms paran-to bad Pangra na pawayyy…
Apni Mashoooq de Bachian da Mama

1) Sanu vekh k mukh ghuma jande, Sade naam te nivian pa jande, Par 1gal te na jor challe ohna da, Karde gallan kise naal te kasma dost de naam diya kha
jande…

2) Main bulbla si ek pani da, do pal jee k muk chaliea. Main rat di aakh da athru si, suraj di kirn pai te main suk chaliea. Aas rakhda si suhavne musam di, aj
haneraian de vich luk chaliea. Ek Supna dekhiaa c aakh meri ne, jehra aad vichale tut chaliea.

3) Kal raat usdi main yaad vich kho gya, neend ni c aaundi menu par fir v main so gya, supne de vich rabb mileya kehnda tenu ki ho gya, mai keha rabb ji menu
kujh nahi hoya, mera ta bass yaar hi kho gya, rabb hasseya te boleya:- tu ta pyar vich jhalla ho gya, jehre yaar di tu gall karda oh ta hun kise hor da ho gya.
Aini gall sun k main sda layi so gya, sda layi so gya…

4) Yaar mile oh jo kare pyar par jatave na,sanu hove dard par oh seh pave na,jad mile jaffi pake mile,Beganeya di tarah duro hello bulave na..

5) Akh rondi tu dekhi, dil de zakhm v tak sajjna; tadpa bhaven din raat par tadapde dil te pair na rakh sajjna; muk javange asi kuch chir g k, aje thoda jiha
sabar ta rakh sajjna; mar k v tenu bhul na pavange das kive karenga yaadan to vakh sajjna…