Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

1) Q : Wat is the height of mixed emotion ???Ans : Wen
ur mother -in- law falls from 7th floor on ur
mercedes…..

2) Boy: O Bewafa tune Shadi Q ki? Mera Dil jal k Raakh ho gaya…
Girl: Fikr na kar tumhari Raakh bekar na jayegi… Yahan bhej do Bartan dhone k kaam aayegi.

3) Nari ke chakkar me bhulo mat yari, Laat maaregi
naari to yaad ayegi yaari, Baat maano hamari ban jao
brahmchari, Ye jaankari janhit me jaari

4) What is d diff
btwn
daava n daru?

Dava
is lik ”grlfrnd”
dat comes
with expiry date

n

daru
is
like ”wife”
jitni purani hogi
utni sir pe chadti hai.

5) 1 Medical student ne apni classmate ko khun se
likha letter dekar kaha,”Muje iska ans jarur dena
Ladki Ne jawab diya,”Tumara blodgrup A+ Hai

6) Aey mere kadradan Dost meri jaan.Tum hamesha rahoge
hattekatte naujawan kyounki…Jab Khuda meherban to
GADHA bhi PAHALWAN.

7) Napolean:There’s no such word as impossible in my
dictionary…..

Sardarji : Oye!!!
Toh dictionary dekh ke kharidni
thi na!

Om namah shivaye
om sai ram
wahe guru
jai shri krishna…… … …………
dar mat kisi ko bhejna nahi hai…khud hi jap
le…”Papi”.

9) English teacher: “One cute & young girl is walking
on d road.”
Change this into an Exclamatory sentence.
Student: “Oh GOD, what a piece!!!

10) BANIA apne bacho se bola-Jo rat ko khana nahi
khayega,use 5 Rs dunga.
Bache 5-5 Rs le kar so gaye.Subah bola-Jo 5Rs dega use
hi khana milega. JAI BANIA.

Kaise kahoon ke apna bana lo mujhe
Baahon mein apni sama lo mujhe
Bin tumhare ek pal bhi ab kat-ta nahi
Tum aa kar mujhi se chura lo mujhe

Apun ek sher bolega,
Choro Taraf Chand fenkrela hai light,
Boleto ho gayeli hai night,
Band karne ka tube light,
Aur soneka tight,
Boleto, Bye Good Night..
`
Jahan dosti vahan pyar,
Jahan pyar vahan ishq,
Jahan ishq vahan judai,
Jahan judai vahan dard,
Jahan dard vahan jandu balm,
Jandu balm lagao aur chup kar ke so jao…
`
Hum na hote to aap kho gaye hote,
Apni zindgi se ruswa ho gaye hote!
Yeh to aapko GOOD NIGHT kehne,
K liye jaag rahe hai,
Varna hum to kab k so gye hote!!!
`
Wo so jata hy aksar hume yad kiye bagair
Humen neend nahi ati unse bat kiye bgair
Kasur unka nahi kasur to hamara hy
Unhe chaha b to unki ijazat liye bagair…

barsaat main jab
barish hoti thi
hum park main betha karty thy
barish main bheega karty thy
aaj
waisa he barsaat ka din hi
park ke binch pe
tanha betha bheeg raha hon
jin main hum tum sang bheegy thy
un lamhon ko sochraha raha hon

Phool bankar muskarana zindagi,
muskarake gum bhulana zindagi,
jeet kar koi khush ho to kya hua,
haar kar khushiya manana bhi zindagi..

Gam ko karo delete,
Khushi ko karo save,
Rishto ko karo recharge,
Dosti ko karo download,
Dushmani ko karo erase,
Such ko karo broadcast,
Jhoot ko karo switch off,
Tension ko karo not reachable,
Pyar ki karo incoming on,
Nafrat ki karo outgoing off,
Language ko karo control,
Hassi ka karo outbox full,
Aansu ka karo inbox khaali,
Gusse ko karo hold,
Muskan ko karo sent,
Help ko karo ok,
Self ko karo autolock,
Dil ko karo vibrate,
Phir dekho life ki ringtone kitni POLYPHONIC ho jayegi.

Hi To All…
after a long time i`m sharing this
shayari…hope u like it ….

ishq mein log izhaar kiya karte hain
ishq mein log ikraar kiya karte hain
hum to bas kwabon mein tumhara deedar kiya karte hain
chaand to ab bhi nikalta hain ,chaandni ke saath
magar hum , ab uska nahi,
intezaar tumhara kiya karte hain
us chaand mein bhi jhalak tumhari dekha karte hain
ab tumko hain kehnaa
kiska hain yeh tumko intezaar MAIN HOON NAA!!!!!!!!

Jab kabhi aapko koi gam sataye,
koi baat dilko na bhaye,
aankhein sagar chalkayein,
yaad karke dekhna hame,
kya pata ek aansu kam ho jaye…
`
Teri raahon mein kabse aankhein bichhaye baithe hai,
is dilke toofan mein mohabbatki shama jalaye baithe hai,
aye zalim kis mod pe laakar chhoda hai tune mujhko,
aaj bhi milneki hasratse teri yaadko dilse laga baithe hai…
`
Pyas wo dilki bujhane kabhi aya hi nahi,
kaisa badal hai jsika koi saya bhi nahi,
berukhi isse badi aur bhala kya hogi,
ek muddat se usne hame sataya bhi nahi…
`
Pyas wo dilki bujhane kabhi aya hi nahi,
kaisa badal hai jsika koi saya bhi nahi,
berukhi isse badi aur bhala kya hogi,
ek muddat se usne hame sataya bhi nahi…
`
Aaj kuch khas baat to jaroor hai,
jo aap itne madhosh hue jaa rahe hai,
kahin ye bin piye jaam ka nasha to nahi,
jo aap itne aashiq mizaz hue ja rahe hai…
`
Aaj apne aapse khafa hoon
jo uske chehre ki madhoshiyan na padh saka,
par kya krun uski yaad me aisa khoya ke
uski muskurahat ke piche ki shararat na padh saka…
`
Wo ruthe humse hum manane chale,
manana nai ata ye bhul hi gaye,
manana humne kabhi sikha hi nahi,
humse yun pehle kabhi koi rutha hi nahi…
`
Sach to ye hai bekar hame gam hota hai,
jo chaha tha duniya me kam hota hai,
gaironko kab fursat hai dukh deneki,
jab hota hai koi humdam hota hai…
`
Yun to mehfilein kabhi udas nai hoti,
pyar ki manzilein kabhi paas nahi hoti,
par hota hai kabhi kabhi aisa bhi,
mil jate hai wo jinke milneki kabhi aas nahi hoti…
`
Jab yaad tumhari aati hai,
dil khoonke aansu rota hai,
bedard zamana kya jaane,
is dil mein kya kya hota hai…
`
Chahat Hai Humko Tere Ishq Mein Marneki,
Sochi Thi Humne Tumse Mohabbat Karneki,
Kisiko Kya Bataun Ke Kitna Majboor Hoon,
Chaha Hai Sirf Tumhe Aur Tumhi Se Door Hoon…

Aaj bhi tum dhadak
Aaj bhi teri khanakti is sada aati hai,
Aaj bhi jism sulagta hai teri saansonse,
Aaj bhi ruh me halchal mere mach jaati hai…
`
Phir yaad ayae wo bikhre hue nazare,
Palkonpe reh gaye hai kanpte hue sitare,
Dilme machalnewale tufan tham gaye hai,
Arman zindagike khamosh ho gaye hai,
Viraniyan chamanki takdir ban gayi hai,
Mehrum zindagiki tasvir ban gayi hai…
`
Unki yaadme sab kuch bhulaye baithe hai,
chirag khushiyonke bujhaye baithe hai,
hum to marenge unki bahonme,
ye bhi mautse shart lagaye baithe hai…
`
Nazar andaz kaise karein aapko,
nazronme bithaya hai aapko,
yaad aayegi to bahenge aansu,
magar hum royenge bhi nahi,
kyonki palkein chubhegi aapko…
`
Kabarki mitti uthake le gaya koi,
isi bahane hame chhukar chala gaya koi,
tanhai aur andhere me kuch the hum to,
lekin phirse intezar karneki wajah de gaya koi..
`
Tujhe chahnewale kam na honge,
Wakt ke sath shayad hum na honge,
Chahe kisiko kitna bhi pyar dena
Lekin tumhari yadonke hakdar sirf hum honge…

Dost ki yaad har waqt sataye gi
Dukh k waqt dosti bohat yaad aaye gi
Us din jaano ge dost ki qadar
Jis din dost se zindagi rooth jaye gi..
`
Rahat b aap sai mili hain
Chaht b aap sai mili hain
Hum se kabhi na rothna kiyo k
Hame ye muskurahat bhi aap se mili hain
I miss U
`
Tere khayalon sai hamy fursat nhi milti
Ek pal k liye hamy rahat nhi milti
Yun tou sab kuch humare pas hai
Bas dekhne ko apki surat nhi milti!
`
Be’khulos logon se ijtenab krna hai
Mujh ko apnay rishton ka ehtesab krna hai
Usko bhool jana hay k us ko yad rkhna hai
Dukh to ek jesa hay intakhab krna hai…
`
Ap se door kaisay reh paatay,
DIL se aap ko kaisay bhula paatay,
kash aap sapnon k elawa sheshay me bassay hotay,
khud ko b daikhtay to aap nazar atay.
`
Dost wo nhi jis ki wajha se aankh me aanson aaye
Sacha dost wo hai jo labo per muskurhat ka sabab bany ..
`
Sapne hain yadain hain or bht kuch!
Tum ho tumhari batain hain or bht kuch!
Nhi chahte hum tumko bhulana!
Magar doori hai ek majboori hai or bht kuch.
`
Na jaany kun si baat aakhir ho jaye…
Na jaane kun si raat aakhir ho jaye..
Haal chal pouchhte raha karo humse…
Najaane kun si sans aakhir ho jaye…