Love is like a long sweet dream and marriage is an alarm clock. So have a sweet dreams till your alarm wakes you up. Happy Unmarried Life.

All girls
have beautiful profile pic..
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Until da photoshop 30 days
trial gets over

BOY :
from d day we met I
haven’t drink
or smoked …
GIRL : how sweet of u,r u
madly in love
with me …?
…
BOY: SHUT UP !, U MADE MY
POCKETS
EMPTY….

It’s Sad For A Girl
To Reach An Age When
Men Consider Her
CHARMLESS

But
Its Worse For A Man
To Reach An Age When
Girl Considers Him
HARMLESS ..

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above… So always Brush ur Teeth
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Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don’t exist.
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Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday…
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Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
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A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me… But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position…
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In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don’t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.
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Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?
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An Englishman, Bihari & Punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.
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Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have Girlfriends…

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
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Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.
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Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you’ve always been a headache!
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A baby fish asked her mother: Y can’t we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it’s made for selfish.
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Can v do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
“MOSQUITO”
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If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I’m only a cartoonist!
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Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about Rohit..

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.
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Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
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Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.
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Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too… Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
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Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u’ll always be SMILING!
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Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”
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Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. “I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

No matter whether guys buy
225ccKarizmas or
220ccPulsars or
350ccRoyal Enfield
It cant overtake a beautiful girl on 80cc Scooty!

Rajnikant was practicing for a spelling test…
The rough sheet he used is now called THE OXFORD DICTIONARY!!!
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Once Rajnikanth was on seat of KBC(Kon Banega krorpathi)…
And computer ji needed lifeline to choose a Question
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Galileo used Lamp to study…. Graham Bell used Candle… Shakespeare studied under street light…..
Do you know about Rajinikanth??
Only Agarbathi
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Rajni once kicked a football
now it revolves around the sun and is known as Pluto
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Rajni’s once wrote his autobiography
and that book is now known as
“The Guiness book of world records”
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One night while sleeping Rajni was mumbling something…
that is how log tables and Trignometric ratios were generated
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Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
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If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
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Rajni once got angry with his domestic help. So he kicked him hard
and so great Harry Potter learnt the art of flying on a broom…
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Roger Federer: “I have immense knowledge about Tennis, ask me any thing about it”
Rajni: “Tell me the number of HOLES in the NET”
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Why did Rajnikanth buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner?
Just to play carrom…

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To arrive home..
Fully Drunk..
Late night out.

N
Mom waiting with a Jhadu
N
You ask: Hey Mom, abhi tak Safai kar rahi ho..!!

Hi, I’m probably home, I’m just avoiding someone I don’t like. Leave me a message, and if I don’t call back, it’s u.
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Twinkle, Twinkle little star…
bet your wondering where we are???
Well, put ur mouth up 2 the phone
& leave us a message for when we get home.
& if u can make ur message rhyme,
We’ll call u back in half the time!!!!
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Marriages are made in heaven
then what are made in Hell?
Ans : the days after marriage…

During Marriage ceremony why is the bridegroom made to sit on the horse ?
He is given his last chance to run away.

I wrote ur name on the sand ………… ….
it got washed away,
I wrote ur name in air……… ……… ………
it got blown away,
So i wrote ur name in my heart……. …….
I got a HEART ATTACK

LOVE is like a CIGAR
It starts with a fire….. continues with smoke……and ends in ashes…
But dont worry – we are chain smokers

ur smile can be compared to a flower
ur voice can be compared to a cuckoo
ur inocence to a child
but in stupidity
u have no comparison
u r the best

Dear Friend,
when i ask u flower,
u give me bouquet
when i ask u a stone
u give me a statue
when i ask u a feather
u give me peacock
ARE U REALLY DEAF ?

I had VODKA with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had WHISKY with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I had RUM with WATER
I felt DRUNK
I SWEAR I’LL NEVER DRINK water….!!!

when i call u;
1 ring means i’m thinking of u;
2 ring means i like u;
3 means i miss u;
4 means ………..pick d phone idiot

Teacher : four beautiful ladies are walking on the road. change it to exclamatory sentence .
Student : WOW !

The human brain is a most outstanding thing…….
it functions 24hrs 365 days…..
it functions right from the time you are Born….
until you fall in love

SMILE – is a language of love
SMILE – is a source to win hearts…
SMILE – creates greatness in your personality
SO….
Brush ur Teeth today onwards

A cigarette shortens your life by 2 min..
A beer shortens your life by 4 min..
A working day shortens your life by 8 hours!!!!..

Default

People like YOU always remain forever

Beautiful flowers die….
Nice stories end……
Lovely songs fade…….. ..
Momeries are forgotten…
All things comes to end…..
But people like YOU always remain forever

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BECAUSE GHOSTS NEVER DIE

A man was dying of cancer.
His son asked him:
dad why do you keep on telling
everyone that your dying of AIDS.
He replied:
“So that when I die no 1 will touch Ur mom”

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

On a romantic day sardar’s girlfriend asks him. Darling on our engagement day will you give me a ring.
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

Doctor to patient : You will die within 2 hours. Do you want to see any one before you die?
Patient : Yes. A good doctor.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it….

Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’

Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the name from NASA to SATYANASA

Santa apni girl friend ko I Luv U kehta hai aur gir jata hai.
Gal: Yeh kya kar rahe ho?
Santa: I’m falling in love.

Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents

Museum Administrator: That’s a 500-year-old statue u’ve broken.
Banta: Thanks God! I thought it was a new one.

A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.

At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don’t cry. See that man. He has lost his head. Is he crying?

In an interview,
Interviewer: How does an electric motor run?
Santa: Dhhuuuurrrrrrrrrr. ….
Inteviewer shouts: Stop it.
Santa: Dhhuurrrr dhup dhup dhup…

Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got irritated…
drank poison & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab maroge!

Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in Japan but radio says This is all India Radio!

Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu’s skeleton.
Tourist: Whose that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu’s skeleton when he was child

If you’re not part of the solution, you’re part of the precipitate
Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto,
Banta asks: Y r u removing a wheel from ur auto?
Santa: Can’t u read ‘Parking for two wheelers only’

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God saw me hungry, he created pizza .
He saw me thirsty, he created Pepsi .
He saw me in dark, he created light .
He saw me without problems, he created YOU.

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Twinkle Twinkle little star
You should know what you are
And once you know what you are
Mental hospital is not so far.

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The rain makes all things beautiful.
The grass and flowers too.
If rain makes all things beautiful
why doesn’t it rain on you?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue
monkeys like u should be kept in zoo.
Don’t feel so angry you will find me there too
not in cage but laughing at you.

I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewellery. (Rita Rudner)

Keep your eyes wide open before the wedding, half shut afterwards. (Benjamin Franklin)

By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. (Socrates)

A husband is like a fire, he goes out when unattended. (Evan Esar)

My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way. (Henny Youngman)

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met. (Rodney Dangerfield)

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong. (Milton Berle)

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. (George Burns)

I bought my wife a new car. She called and said, ‘There’s water in the carburettor’ . I said, ‘Where’s the car?’ She said, ‘In the lake’. (Henny Youngman)

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life. (Rita Rudner)

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight. (Phyllis Diller)

All marriages are mixed marriages. (Chantal Saperstein)

There’s only one way to have a happy marriage and as soon as I learn what it is I’ll get married again. (Clint Eastwood)

The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret. (Henny Youngman)

My friends bombard me with SMS messages. Sometimes they send me SMSs that are really funny. I don’t know where they get them, but they are really funny.

Do u know what does the computer
think of you when u sit in front
of it
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INTEL Inside….
IDIOT Outside

I am your girlfriend:
Smart.
Intelligent.
Sweet.
Talented.
Excllent.
Romantic.
theek kaha na ?
In short I am your S.I.S.T.E.R. :p

I want u …
To be with me In a nice Restaurent
To have candle light dinner…. &
to say those sweet three words to U….
“Pay The Bill”

Two devils came in 2 my dreams.
They said,
“We want 2 disturb some good person.”
I suggest them your name.
They said,
“We cannot disturb our boss.”

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.

You are one of the most CUTE persons in the world!! Just a second, donrsquo;t misunderstand. CUTE means: Creating Useless Troubles Everywhere..

Last night I Got a severe Head pain… I went to the Doctor … He said that It would be cured If I send a SMS TO some lunatic person… Tell me,Whom do I know other than you.?

Today, tommorow and forever there will be one heart that would always beat for you. You know Whose??? Your Own Stupid!!!

Your girlfriend is: Smart. Intelligent. Sweet. Talented. Excllent. Romantic. In short she is your S.I.S.T.E.R.

Love th is photogenic it needs darkness to develop.

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A good discussion is like a miniskirt, Short enough to pertain interest and long enough to cover the subject!

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Children in backseats cause accidents, Accidents in backseats cause children!

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“Your future depends on your dreams” So go to sleep!

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There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning!

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“ALCOHOL KILLS SLOWLY”, So what? Who’s in a hurry?

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“Hard work never killed anybody”, But why take the risk! (I don’t want to be an exception!)

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“Work fascinates me”, I can sit and watch it for hours!

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God made relatives, Thank God we can choose our friends.

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My girlfriend ran away with my best friend and I really am sorry for him!

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God is Alive! Speak to Him!, (It’s cheaper after 9.30 p.m.!)

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When two’s company, three’s the result!

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A designer dress is like a barbed fence, It protects the premises without restrictinge view!

In k peeche itna bhagna fazool hai

Jis din kisi larki ne keh diya “I LOVE U”

Tou samajh jana us din APRIL FOOL hai.

Love is made by two people, in different kinds of solitude.
It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd….
(Louis Aragon.)

Passionate love is a quenchless thirst….
(Kahlil Gibran.)

I was waitin da nite to see da moon
It didn’t appear so i called da
Sky 2 ask where da moon is?
It told me da moon is readin ur msg:)