Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Shakespear Said.

“Love me, or Hate me,
Both are in my favour,
If ull love me i’ll always be in ur Heart,
If ull hate me i’ll always be in ur Mind…”

When someone trying to impres u….
It mean He/She is already impressed by you.

Don’t Wait Until Its 2 Late 2 Tell Some1..
How Much U Love..
How Much U Care..
Coz When They’ll Go Out,
No Matter How Loud U Shout & Cry
They Wont Hear U Ny More..

Be always at war with your vices, at peace with your neighbors, and let each new year find you a better man.
-Benjamin Franklin

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us.
-Hal Borland

The Old Year has gone. Let the dead past bury its own dead. The New Year has taken possession of the clock of time. All hail the duties and possibilities of the coming twelve months!
-Edward Payson Powell

Cheers to a New Year and another chance for us to get it right.
-Oprah Winfrey

“The only way to spend New Year’s Eve is either quietly with friends or in a brothel. Otherwise when the evening ends and people pair off, someone is bound to be left in tears.”
-W.H. Auden

Live every act fully, as if it were your last.
- Buddha
`
Life is meaningless only if we allow it to be. Each of us has the power to give life meaning, to make our time and our bodies and our words into instruments of love and hope.
- Tom Head
`
One must work and dare if one really wants to live.
- Vincent van Gogh
`
When I hear somebody sigh, “Life is hard,” I am always tempted to ask, “Compared to what?”
- Sydney J. Harris
`
What would life be if we had no courage to attempt anything?
- Vincent van Gogh
`
This is the true joy of life, the being used up for a purpose recognized by yourself as a mighty one.
- George Bernard Shaw
`
The exercise of an extraordinary gift is the supremest pleasure in life.
- Mark Twain
`
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I’m happy. I can’t figure it out. What am I doing right?
- Charles Schulz
`
Keep love in your heart. A life without it is like a sunless garden when the flowers are dead. The consciousness of loving and being loved brings a warmth and richness to life that nothing else can bring.
- Oscar Wilde
`
I think somehow we learn who we really are and then live with that decision.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

Love your job but never fall in love with your company,
because you never know when it stops loving you.
~ Dr.Abdul Kalam~

Three Sentences For Getting Success:
a) Know more than other
b) Work more than other
c)Expect less than other
~ William Shakespear

In a day,when you don’t come across any problems
you can be sure that you are travelling in a wrong path.
~ Swami Vivekananda ~

Never break four things in your life;
a)Trust
b)Promise
c)Relationship
d)Heart
Because when they break,
They dont make noise but pain a lot.
~ Author Unknown

Winning doesn’t always mean being first,
Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve
done before.
~ Bonnie Blair ~

If you want a real peace,
Dont talk to your friends.
Talk with your enemies.
~ Mother Teresa ~

No man is rich enough to buy his past.
~ Oscar Wilde ~

The dream is not what you see in sleep,
Dream is which does not let you to sleep.
~ Dr.Abdul Kalam ~
(Former President Of The Republic Of India)

Never explain yourself to anyone.
Because the person who likes you does not need it.
And the person who dislike you won’t believe it.
~ Author Unknown ~

I’m not in competition with anybody but myself.
My goal is to beat my last performance.
~ Bill Gates ~

If you start judging people,
You will have no time to love them.
~ Mother Teresa ~

If you win you need not explain.
But if you lose,
you should not be there to explain.
~ Adolph Hitler ~

Charlie Chaplin’s 3 Heart touching statements:
1st – Nothing is
permanent in this world,
not even our Troubles…!
2nd
I like walking in the rain, becoz nobody can see my tears..!!
n 3rd…
MOST IMPORTANT
The most wasted day in life, is the day, in which, we have not laughed.

Secret of happy life…..
Get a girl who cooks well
Get a girl who loves you
Get a girl look good
Make sure the 3 girls don’t meet each other!!

[1] Sweeter Sides of Life
Boy Friend is like a chocolate, “Taste good always.”
Girl Friend is like Pizza, Hot’ n’Spicy, “Delicious anytime.”
Wife is like the refrigerated left overs, “Eaten when no choice.”
Husband is like a cooled off Tea in a cup, “Headache on sip.”

[2] Better Dead than Alive
A bachelor Man asked his physician, “I Want to live healthy and longer.”
The Doctor advised, “Good thought, Get married.”
The man asked, “Oh you mean the exercise of sex will make me live longer.”
The Doctor said, “No it is the want of sex that will kill your thought.”

[3] An Alien Observation
“A great handshake was observed in two humans of opposite sex at a wedding ring before a deadly bout of Lifetime.”

[4] Respect to a Dead Union
A husband reminded the wife, “Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and I want to start the day with two minute’s in silence.”

[5] Love Kills
Marry with Love or have someone arrange it for you and then love. What the hell is the difference? Ultimate is the same, “Suicide of Harakiri or Killing of Guillotine.”

[6] Strange Divinity
And God makes such a beautiful, lovely, pleasant, marvelous creature as woman for man, then suddenly he turns around and sticks him as wife.

[7] Senseless and Careless
A man before marriage stays awake happily whole night contemplating about the wordage of lover woman.
Then after marriage he starts snoring faster then loving wife utters the first word.

[8] Wise Saying
Your money gets transferred faster than lightning When you marry.

[9] For unmarried only
“Happy Independence Day.”

[10] Grass is greener on other side
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order the best dish of your choice from the menu and yet damn you find your friend’s dish more alluring.

[11] Decent Burial
A just recently divorced, hit hard, badly publicized, rich man received a telegram.
“Your Ex-wife dead. Advise preference burial or cremation? Funeral cost you pay.”
The man quickly responded, “Burn the Body high flames and Bury the Ash deep grounds. I pay all the expenses.”

[12] Wild Fiction
A just engaged man goes in the Library to search books on “The sex and my woman.”
He asked the female librarian, “Ma’ am, I want the book something like, “Master of my woman.”
The librarian advised, “Our fiction and fantasy books are in the basement.”

[13] Promise Keeper
Once a man told then his lover, “Marry me, I would even go to hell for you.”
The girl trusted the promise and married him.
The Man kept his words, “He is going through the hell of his life for now his wife.”

[14] Never drying tears
A woman brings you in this world with you crying and other one keeps you alive in this world with you crying.

[15] Law of Double Jeopardy
The Law does not permit a man to marry a second woman.
The Law cannot punish a man twice for the same offense!

It is easy to love the people
far away. It is not always
easy to love those close to us.
Bring love into your home
for this is where our love
for each other must start.