Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Love your job but never fall in love with your company,
because you never know when it stops loving you.
~ Dr.Abdul Kalam~

Three Sentences For Getting Success:
a) Know more than other
b) Work more than other
c)Expect less than other
~ William Shakespear

In a day,when you don’t come across any problems
you can be sure that you are travelling in a wrong path.
~ Swami Vivekananda ~

Never break four things in your life;
a)Trust
b)Promise
c)Relationship
d)Heart
Because when they break,
They dont make noise but pain a lot.
~ Author Unknown

Winning doesn’t always mean being first,
Winning means you’re doing better than you’ve
done before.
~ Bonnie Blair ~

If you want a real peace,
Dont talk to your friends.
Talk with your enemies.
~ Mother Teresa ~

No man is rich enough to buy his past.
~ Oscar Wilde ~

The dream is not what you see in sleep,
Dream is which does not let you to sleep.
~ Dr.Abdul Kalam ~
(Former President Of The Republic Of India)

Never explain yourself to anyone.
Because the person who likes you does not need it.
And the person who dislike you won’t believe it.
~ Author Unknown ~

I’m not in competition with anybody but myself.
My goal is to beat my last performance.
~ Bill Gates ~

If you start judging people,
You will have no time to love them.
~ Mother Teresa ~

If you win you need not explain.
But if you lose,
you should not be there to explain.
~ Adolph Hitler ~

Charlie Chaplin’s 3 Heart touching statements:
1st – Nothing is
permanent in this world,
not even our Troubles…!
2nd
I like walking in the rain, becoz nobody can see my tears..!!
n 3rd…
MOST IMPORTANT
The most wasted day in life, is the day, in which, we have not laughed.

Secret of happy life…..
Get a girl who cooks well
Get a girl who loves you
Get a girl look good
Make sure the 3 girls don’t meet each other!!

[1] Sweeter Sides of Life
Boy Friend is like a chocolate, “Taste good always.”
Girl Friend is like Pizza, Hot’ n’Spicy, “Delicious anytime.”
Wife is like the refrigerated left overs, “Eaten when no choice.”
Husband is like a cooled off Tea in a cup, “Headache on sip.”

[2] Better Dead than Alive
A bachelor Man asked his physician, “I Want to live healthy and longer.”
The Doctor advised, “Good thought, Get married.”
The man asked, “Oh you mean the exercise of sex will make me live longer.”
The Doctor said, “No it is the want of sex that will kill your thought.”

[3] An Alien Observation
“A great handshake was observed in two humans of opposite sex at a wedding ring before a deadly bout of Lifetime.”

[4] Respect to a Dead Union
A husband reminded the wife, “Tomorrow is our wedding anniversary and I want to start the day with two minute’s in silence.”

[5] Love Kills
Marry with Love or have someone arrange it for you and then love. What the hell is the difference? Ultimate is the same, “Suicide of Harakiri or Killing of Guillotine.”

[6] Strange Divinity
And God makes such a beautiful, lovely, pleasant, marvelous creature as woman for man, then suddenly he turns around and sticks him as wife.

[7] Senseless and Careless
A man before marriage stays awake happily whole night contemplating about the wordage of lover woman.
Then after marriage he starts snoring faster then loving wife utters the first word.

[8] Wise Saying
Your money gets transferred faster than lightning When you marry.

[9] For unmarried only
“Happy Independence Day.”

[10] Grass is greener on other side
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order the best dish of your choice from the menu and yet damn you find your friend’s dish more alluring.

[11] Decent Burial
A just recently divorced, hit hard, badly publicized, rich man received a telegram.
“Your Ex-wife dead. Advise preference burial or cremation? Funeral cost you pay.”
The man quickly responded, “Burn the Body high flames and Bury the Ash deep grounds. I pay all the expenses.”

[12] Wild Fiction
A just engaged man goes in the Library to search books on “The sex and my woman.”
He asked the female librarian, “Ma’ am, I want the book something like, “Master of my woman.”
The librarian advised, “Our fiction and fantasy books are in the basement.”

[13] Promise Keeper
Once a man told then his lover, “Marry me, I would even go to hell for you.”
The girl trusted the promise and married him.
The Man kept his words, “He is going through the hell of his life for now his wife.”

[14] Never drying tears
A woman brings you in this world with you crying and other one keeps you alive in this world with you crying.

[15] Law of Double Jeopardy
The Law does not permit a man to marry a second woman.
The Law cannot punish a man twice for the same offense!

It is easy to love the people
far away. It is not always
easy to love those close to us.
Bring love into your home
for this is where our love
for each other must start.

Everyone thinks ofchanging the world,
But no one thinks of changing himself.
~Leo Tolstoy~

Believeing everybody is dangerious,
But believing nobody is more dangrious.
~Abraham Lincoln~

I will not say I failed 1000 times, I will say
that I discovered 1000 ways that can
cause failure.
~Thomas Alva Edison~

Wining doesn’t always mean being first,
wining eans you are doing better than
you have before.
~Bonniie Blair~

If we cannot love the person we see,
how can we love God, whome we cannot see…
~Mother Teresa~

Don’t compare yorself with anyone
in this world.
if you do so, you are insulting yourself.
~Alen Strike~

If you win, you need not have to explain…
if you lose, you should not be there
to explain!
~Adolf Hitler~

Three sentence for getting success:
“Know more then other, Work more then othe,
Expect less the other”
~William Shakspeare~

Never break four things in your life:
TRUSE, RELATION, PROMISE & HEART.
because when they break, they don’t
make noise but pains a lot.
~Charles Dickens~

“If soneone feels that they have never
made a mistake in their life,then it means
they have never tried a new thing in their life”
~Albert Einstein~

In a day when you don’t come across any
problems,you can be sure that you are
traveling in the wrong path.
~Swami Vivekananda~

If you judge people, you have no time
to love them.
~Mother Teresa~

Never ever reject any girls in your life..!
Because,
A good girls gives you happiness.
and
Bad girls gives you experience!

Shakespeare said:
0ne Beautiful Heart is Better than
Thousand Beautiful Faces.?
So Better to choose People having
Beautiful Heart rather than Beautiful Face.

The real reason for
not committing suicide
is because you always
know how swell life gets again after the hell is over.- Ernest Hemingway.
Don’t bother just to be better than your contemporaries or predecessors.
Try to be better
than yourself.- William Faulkner.
‘Bachelors Know More
about Women than
Married Men; If
they Didn’t, they’d
be Married Too.’- HL Mencken, Essayist.
You must train your intuition – you must
trust the small voice
inside you which tells
you exactly what to say,
what to decide.- Ingrid Bergman.
‘God can be dropped
as an unnecessary hypothesis, but
“Yes” cannöt be dropped.
This simple word “Yes” contains all the religiöns
of the world.
It contains trust, it
contains love, it contains surrender.’- Osho.
OSHO :-
‘Sadness is also beautiful;
It has it’s own delicacy,
its own taste.
The laughter of
one who hasn’t
known sadness will
not have depth,
because depth comes
only through sadness.’

” Better understated than overstated. Let people be surprised that it was more than you promised and easier than you said.”

Every day can be a beautiful day.
Just take a look around you
and think about all of the
wonderful things you have
to be thankful for…
the sunshine,
roses,
laughter,
close friends,
family,
music,
and beautiful dreams.

The storm is never half as bad as it seems.
Don’t let the rain ruin your day.
When the dark clouds move in
just smile,

because the good times
are on the way.

Year of Birth – 563 B.C.
Year of Death – 483 B..C.

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him.

An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.

Believe nothing, no matter where you read it, or who said it, no matter if I have said it, unless it agrees with your own reason and your own common sense.

Do not overrate what you have received, nor envy others. He who envies others does not obtain peace of mind.

It is better to conquer yourself than to win a thousand battles. Then the victory is yours. It cannot be taken from you, not by angels or by demons, heaven or hell.

The mind is everything. What you think you become.

The secret of health for both mind and body is not to mourn for the past, nor to worry about the future, but to live the present moment wisely and earnestly.

Below mentioned are some wise quotes. Encouragement to someone, sometimes changes the life……

Some flower grows best in Sun, others do well in the shade.
God always know what is best for us and puts us where we grow best.
So stay happy always.

Never expect anything to happen,
struggle and make them happen.
Never expect yourself to be given a good value….
Create a value of your own.

A good way to change someone’s attitude is to change your own.
Because the same Sun that melts butter also hardens clay.
Life is as you think. So think beautiful

When flood come up fish eats ants, when flood goes down ants eats fish. Time matters. God gives time to everyone..

A sunset here is a sunrise on the other end of the world.
Never give up, because what appears to be “The End”,
might be a new beginning.

-Nilesh Shah

“ALWAYS REMAIN YOUNG,
NEVER BECOME OLD.
YOUR BODY WILL
BECOME OLD, BUT
YOUR MIND HAS
NO NECESSITY TO
BECOME OLD.
IF YOUR MIND
REMAINS YOUNG
AND FRESH,
READY TO LEARN,
READY TO EXPLORE
NEW DIMENSIONS OF LIFE,
YOU ARE ALIVE.”- OSHO.

Believe nothing,
no matter where
you read it, or
who said it, unless
it agrees with
your own reason and
your own common sense.- Buddha.