Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Aik Larki ne apni Jeans utar di

or sardar je se boli:

“Muje biwi honay ka Ehsas dilao”

sardar ne bhe Jeans utaar de or bola:

Jao ye dono Jeans dho kar lao”

A sardar gave an Ad in matrimonial column
“PATNI CHAHIYE”

He got 1000 replies all saying– ‘Meri Le JA. …

Newspaper Mein News Lagi K
50% Of Sardars Are Donkey
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys
The Sardars Celebrated.

A Sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go
to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which
happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is
another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns
to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same
sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he’s made 20 trips to the
bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he
finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC
(Ticket Checker) what’s been going on. The TC, which also happens to
be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The
TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out.

Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar “I’m sorry, I
can’t do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member”.

Sardar ji was filling up application form for a job.
He was not sure as to what to be filled in column “Salary Expected”.
After much thought he wrote: Yes

A Teacher lecturing on population -
In india after Every 10 sec a woman gives birth to a kid.
A Sardar stands up – we must find & stop her

Husband asks, Do you know the meaning of “WIFE.”
It means…Without Information Fighting Every time!
WIFE says No, it means – With Idiot for Ever

A sardar ji Doctor falls in Love with a Nurse.
He writes a love letter to the Nurse :- I Love U sister

This is a sample Iris Question Paper, From the Ministry of Education, Ireland.
Before you rush to the answer sheet, try to crack some knuckle to find our the answer.
The Time allowed is 1 minute. ( You can take more time if you promise to not tell anyone! )
The Question Sheet

A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
party.. he introduced his family to his friends
saying..” I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee …
this is my kid and that is my kidney…!!”

American says “US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..”
Sardarji ” India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…!!!”
Nurse – “Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye..”
Sardarji – ” Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use
surprise doonga..!”

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ………
Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai……
Doosari bigadati hai to “SHUROO’ ho jati hai

Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis leke aaya hai,
ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.

Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai….

Sardar found answer to most difficult question question ever
What comes first – the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April When conductor asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- And took the ticket and said April Fool. I have pass.

Sardar writing a letter 2 his friend

My sis had a baby this morning. I don know whether it is a boy or a girl. So i don know whether i am now an Uncle or Aunty.

TICKET  TICKET…

Sardar: Should i buy tickets to my children.

Conductor: Yes only if they are above 8.

Sardar: Thank god i have only 6 children. 

Two Sardars were walking together…
Pehla: Oye marr gaye. Meri biwi aur meri premika ek saath aa rahi hain..
Dusra: Oye main bhi yahi bolne wala tha….

A Sardar enters shop & shouts, “Where’s my free gift with this oil?”
Shopkeeper: “ISke Saath koi gift nahin hai bhaisaab”
Sard : “Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL

Sardarji zebra crossing ke black & white patte par bar bar idhar-
udhar
chalte the, woh kya soch rahe honge…. think………….
“SALA YE PIANO BAJTA KYO NAHI HAI”

ONE FINE DAY A GIRL PROPOSED TO A SARDAR AND SARDAR DENIED
SIMPLY SAYING THAT IN OUR FAMILY,
WE MARRY ONLY OUR RELATIVES..
MY MOM MARRIED MY DAD,
MY BROTHER MARRIED MY BHABHI ,
MY UNCLE MARRIED MY AUNT AND SO ON.
SO PLEASE EXCUSE ME !!!!!

Once a Sardarji was going to his office.
On the way he slipped on a banana peel and was badly hurt.
Next day , on his way to the office, he noticed a banana peel
and Later after two days, he noticed two banana peels and
exclaimed” ari sala, aaj to choice hai”!!!!!!

Sardar Gurbachan Singh is appearing for his University final examination which consists of Y/N type questions.

He takes his seat in the examination hall, stares at the question paper for five minutes, and then in a fit of inspiration takes his wallet out, removes a coin and starts tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet – Y for Heads and N for Tails. Within half an hour he is all done whereas the rest of the class is sweating it out.

During the last few minutes, he is seen desperately throwing the coin, swearing and sweating.

The invigilator, alarmed, approaches him and asks what is going on.

“Oye, I finished the exam in half and hour “. “But yaar “, he says,

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says “Yes”.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says “I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder”.

How do you stop a Pakistani tank ?
Shoot the men who are pushing it.
How do you disable a Pakistani tank?
Hide the wind-up key.
How do you disable Pakistani missiles?
Cut the rubber band.
Pakistani Air Force officials have recently motioned for a name change for the PAF.
They want to call it the PMC, the Pakistani Mining Corps. This is because their planes
end up in the ground anyway.
Pakistani military researchers have recently ordered for the enlargement of the
hatches on tanks and other armoured vehicles. This is so they can be more easily
abandoned in enemy territory.
Have you ever seen Pakistani war heroes?
Neither has Pakistan.
Did you hear about the latest Pakistani invention?
It’s a solar powered flashlight.
Did you hear about the other latest Pakistani invention?
The new automatic parachutes. They open on impact.
How do you sink a Pakistani battleship?
Put it in water.
Did you hear about the 747 jet which crashed into a cemetery in Karachi?
The Pakistani officials have so far recovered 3000 bodies.
Did you hear about the Pakistani admiral who had asked to be buried at sea?
Five Pakistani sailors died digging his grave.
Did you hear about the other tragedy in Karachi ?
There was a terrible power cut in Karachi’s Four Square Shopping Mall. People were
stuck on the escalator for four hours.
Did you hear about the Pakistani family that froze to death outside a theatre ? They
were waiting to see the movie “Closed for the winter”.
Did you hear about the Pakistani helicopter crash ?
The pilot felt cold, so he turned off the fan.
Why do Pakistani dogs have flat noses ?
They get it from chasing parked cars.
Did you hear about the Pakistani who studied diligently for five days ?
He was scheduled to take a medical test.
Did you hear about the shutdown of the Karachi National Library ?
Somebody stole the book.