Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

“ Dasna tu vi nahi, Te kehna main v nahi!
Auna tu v nai, Te auna mai v nai!
Bolna tu v nai, Te sunna main v nai!
Par ik gal pakki yara!
Bhulna tu v nai, Te bhulna main v nai!!
”

“ Baah fadke rok lende
je chalda koi zor hunda
assi tere piche kyon rulde
je tere jeha koi hor hunda ”

“ Ki kariye lokan da, har gal nu lok jhamela kehnde ne,
Je sms na kariye ta kanjoos, te je kariye ta Vehla kehnde ne!
”

“ Santa: Tommy ne meri saari kitaab kha layi
Mother: Ohnu mere kole leke aa mein usnu saja dewan
Santa: Saja ta mein de diti, usdi kauli wala dudh mein pee gaya
”

“ Kudi waale pandit nu: Saanu aheja munda chahida jehra kuj khanda penda na howe.
Pandit: Aheja munda taan PGI Emergency ward ch hi mil sakda hai.
”

“ J kade tera kalle da paga 10 bandeyan naal pai jaave ta mainu sad layin, main kade kisi nu kut paindi nahin dekhi !
”

“ Boy: Ki mein tera hath chum sakda han”
Girl: Kyon Haramjadeya mere bullan te koi kande lagge ne ?
”

“ Ishq da jisnu khwaab aa janda ae,
Waqt samjho khraab aa janda ae,
Mehboob aave ya na aave,
Par Taare ginan da hisaab aa janda ae!
”

“ tusi bade hi gr8 ho,
rasgulle ki pl8 ho,
pepsi ka cr8 ho,
ande ka oml8 ho,
SMS karane mein bade le8 ho,
jalebi ki tarah str8 ho,
kher jo bhi ho mere fever8 ho……. ”

“ Santa goes to a hotel and orders chiken
Waiter: french or spanish?
Santa: jehra margi le aa,
main kehra gallan karniya ne
buurrraaaaa! ”

“ har shayari sohni lagdi e jad naal kise de pyar hove,
ohda dard hakeem nahi jaan sakda jehra ishq vich bimar hove,
lagi wale ta mil aaunde chahe baitha yaar samundron paar hove,
duniya ta ki rabb v bhull janda jad sahmne baitha yaar hove.
”

“ kini khushi sajna tere aaun di c

kina dukh ve tere jaan lagya

dil sada pehla hi c mom varga

ik tu v ro peya sanu hasaun lagya ”

bunty baba ji

This one’s not just for Punjabis but for all those who have faced ‘Punjlish’.
A is for Aiscreame

B is for Backside, and it has nothing to do with your butt. It is an
instruction to go to the rear of a building, or block, or shop or
whatever.

C is for Cloney and its not a process for replicating sheep, nor is its
first name George. It is merely an area where people live e.g. ‘Defence Cloney’.

D is for the proverbial ‘Dangar da Puttar’

E is for Expanditure, the spending of money

F is for Fackade, and even though it sounds like a bad word it is
actually just the front of a building (with backside being the back, of course).

G is for Gaddi, and the way a Punjabi can pilot his gaddi puts any F1 driver to shame. (If the Grand Prix does come to Delhi there’s no way Hamilton, Alonso or Kimi can overtake Balvinder, Jasvinder or Sukhvinder’s taxi.)

H is for ‘Ho Jayega Ji’, and the moment you hear that you have to be careful because you can be reasonably sure it’s not going to happen.

I is for Intzaar, and to know more about it see P.

J is for Jutt, which every Punjabi seems to be.

K is for Khanna, Khurana, etc, the Punjabi equivalent of the Joneses (e.g.’Keeping up with the Khuranas ji’)

L is for Loin, the king of the jungle

M is for ‘Mrooti’, the car that an entire generation of Punjabis were in love with.

N is for ‘No Problem Ji.’ To find out how that works see H.

O is for Oye, which can be surprise (Oyye!), a greeting (Oyy!), anger (OYY!) or pain (Oy oy oy…).

P is for Punj Mint, and no matter how near (1 km) or far (100 km) a Punjabi is from you he always says he’ll reach you in punj mint (5 minutes…).

Q is for Queue, a word completely untranslateable into Punjabi.

R is for Riks, and a Punjabi is always prepared to take one (risk), even if the odds are against him.

S is for Sweetie, Sunny, Simmi and Sonu, who seem to own half the cars in Delhi . (The other half by their Pappas – like ‘Sweetie de Pappa di Gaddi’)

T is for the official bird of Punjab : Tandoori Chickun.

U is for when you lose your sex appeal and become ‘Uncul-ji’

V is for VIP phone numbers @ Rs 15 lakh and counting.

W is for Whan, as in ‘Whan are you coming, ji?’

X is for the many X-rated words that flow freely in Punjabi conversations.

Y is for ‘You nonsanse’, when anger replaces vocabulary in a shouting match.

Z is for Zindgi which every Punjabi knows how to live to the fullest