Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Today, i had a dream that you were with me.
I kissed you, you kissed me! I hugged you, you hugged me.
I loved you, you loved me. To bad it was all just a dream

Calling you an idiot would be an insult to all the stupid people.

I don’t know what makes you so dumb but it really works.

Anybody who told you to be yourself simply couldn’t have given you worse advice…

Hi there, I’m a human being! What are you?

Your village just called. They’re missing an idiot.

Shouldn’t you have a license for being that ugly?

I’m sorry, I’m a little busy. Can i ignore you later?

I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.

Don’t let you mind wander – it’s far too small to be let out on its own.

A gentleman is one who never hurts anyone’s feelings unintentionally.

Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today?

You can’t fix stupid.

And I thought I had problems? Look at your face!

Sure, I’ve seen people like you before – but I had to pay an admission.

If you took an IQ test, the results would be negative.

Sure, I’d love to help you out…now, which way did you come in?

The most effective comeback to an insult is silence.

Brains aren’t everything. In fact in your case they’re nothing.

I’d love to ask how old you are, but unfortunately I know you can’t count that high.

I have met a lot of hard boiled eggs in my time, but you’re twenty minutes.

All day I thought of you….I was at the zoo.

Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.

If you’re gonna be two faced.. at least try to make one pretty.

Don’t hate me because i’m beautiful, hate me because your boyfriend thinks I am.

He doesn’t know the meaning of the word “fear” – but then again he doesn’t know the meaning of most words.

For the love of God, do you at least remember what you were doing the day they were passing out common sense?

I won’t insult your intelligence by suggesting that you really believe what you just said.

Insults should be written in sand, compliments should be carved in stone.

If brains were taxed, you’d get a rebate.

Even rabbits insult an dead lion.

There are two insults no human being will endure: that he has no sense of humor, and that he has never known trouble.

You’re so fake, Barbie is jealous.

An injury is much sooner forgotten than an insult.

Never insult an alligator until you’ve crossed the river.

I may be fat, but i can exercise, you can’t fix ugly!

They just ran out of brains by the time you got there, so they gave you a nice wood carving instead.

A graceful taunt is worth a thousand insults.

Never insult anyone by accident.

Well, they do say opposites attract…so I sincerely hope you meet somebody who is attractive, honest, intelligent, and cultured.

To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury.

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Actually it is not an video but wall paper we click on it with out noticing ………

Boy:Suit Bada Acha Pahna Hai.
Girl:Thanx
Boy:Lipstik Bahut Achi Lagai Hai
Girl:Thanx
Boy:Make Up Bhi Bahut Acha Hai.
Girl:Thanx
Boy:Phir Bhi Achi Nahi Lag Rahi Ho

Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya ,
Tumko dekha to yeh khyaal aaya,
Ki Paaglo ke stock mein Naya Maal Aaya.

PLEASE SEND ME YOUR BLOOD GRUP IT’S URGENT.
EK ACCIDENT HO GAYA HAI TUMHARA HI BLOOD CHAHIYE.
PLEASE MANA MAT KARNA. WARNA KUTTA MAR JAYEGA…||

To Prove..,”You Are Not An IDIOT”..
Take the test below :
Press Down
Press Up
Look…!! , You cudnt even follow the Instructions. !!
U IDIOT.!
Really You Proved It.

Last night some Monkeys came running to my room.
They wanted to trouble good people…
I suggested ur name.
They said Oh!!!No we cant disturb our Boss…

Article 377 (a penal law which crimanalises homosexuality) may be repealed by the
Home/Health Ministry.
.
Here’s Wishing You
All the Very Best.

I
I l
I lo
I lov
I love
I love you…
I love you the most.
I love you the best.

I love you a lot..

Bcoz MENAKA GANDHI said ” People should LOVE animals.”

However high the
sky may be.
However wide the
river may be.
However strong the
wind may be.
Just remember,

It’s None of
Your Business.!

“Happy New Year”.
I know its Too Early,
but I’ve 100s of
Handsome GUYS and
GIRLS to Wish, so,
I decided to finish off
Uncles and Aunties First.!

I had a dream last night
Only you and me..
We were running in a garden, Me in the Front
and You, running
After me.. and with
the background music
of Vodafone..!

if people say ur crazy
Be Patient.
Ur Monkey,
Be Relax.
Ur stubid,
Be coo.
But if TheySay U R Smart,(
Thapar Lagana
Aur Bolna Mazak karne Ki BE Had Hoti Hai…..

Last Night Devil Come In My Dream & Said That He Wanted to Disturb Good People
I Gave Him Ur Number, but He Said to me – I Can’t Disturb My Boss.

Neengall sirikkum ovvoru vinaadiyum ungallai vittu maranam vilagi selgiradhu.
Aanaal,
Mattravargalluku maranam nerungugiradhu.

So
Brush pannittu Siringa..

ABCDEFGHIJ
A=U r “Attractive.
B=U r “Brilliant.
C=U r “Cute.
D=U r “Dear to me.
E=U r “Excellent.
F=U r “Funny.
G=U r “Great.

H, I, J
Hello, I’m, Joking.

Light can replace Sun,Parents can replace God,Daughter can replace Son
But Nothing in the World
can replace You

Coz

“LOCAL ITEM”
No Guarantee
No Replacement