Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Love is like a long sweet dream and marriage is an alarm clock. So have a sweet dreams till your alarm wakes you up. Happy Unmarried Life.

Human brain is the most outstanding object in world.
It functions 24hrs a day, 365days a year.
It functions right from the time we are born
and stop only when we enter the examination hall.

Y girls r shorter than boys?
Bcoz when dey hug each other
The boy lets her head rest on his shoulder
…
&
he can see another girl behind.!

All girls
have beautiful profile pic..
.
.
.
….
.
.
.
Until da photoshop 30 days
trial gets over

BOY :
from d day we met I
haven’t drink
or smoked …
GIRL : how sweet of u,r u
madly in love
with me …?
…
BOY: SHUT UP !, U MADE MY
POCKETS
EMPTY….

True Love is like a pillow.
U could HUG it when Ur in trouble.
U could CRY on it when Ur in pain.
U could EMBRACE it when Ur happy.
Want True Love?
Spend Rs.50 buy a Pillow.
`
Define a True Music Lover?
A Girl singing in a Bathroom
While Taking Bath
and a Boy Near the Keyhole
is Using His Ears Not His Eyes.
`
In bio practical:
Examiner:Tell me the name of
this bird by seeing it’s legs only?
Santar:I don’t know.
Examiner:You failed, what’s your name?
Santa:See my legs & tell my name
`
One boy went to meet his girlfriend
when he came back at home
mom asked
kahaan gaey they ?
boy:us se milney
mom: kis liye?
boy: haan bohat kiss liye..
`
Santa on phone:
Doctor my wife is pergnant.She is having pain right now.
Doctor: Is this her first child?
Santa: No this is her husband speaking…

It’s Sad For A Girl
To Reach An Age When
Men Consider Her
CHARMLESS

But
Its Worse For A Man
To Reach An Age When
Girl Considers Him
HARMLESS ..

Dream makes everything possible, Hope makes everything work, Luv makes everything beautiful, Smile makes all the above… So always Brush ur Teeth
`
Do u know similarity between Dinosaurs and Decent Girls?
Both don’t exist.
`
Monday went on Tuesday 2 Wednesday and asked Thursday whether Friday has told Saturday that Sunday is a holiday. Have a Great Sunday…
`
Dad : Son, what do you want for your birthday?
Son : Not much dad, just a radio with a sports car around it.
`
A Love Letter from BISCUIT MAKER- Dear Marie, Today is Good Day, U r Anmol for me… But U have Crackjacked my Heart, Bcoz I have a Little Heart, Now I m in 50/50 position…
`
In a train, ticket checker to a saint: Ticket please!
Saint: I don’t have.
TT: Where do you want to go?
Saint: Lord Ram’s birth place, Ayodhya!
TT: Come, lets go!
Saint: Where?
TT: Lord Krishna’a birth place, Jail.
`
Commerce professor asks the student: what is the most important source of finance for starting business?
`
An Englishman, Bihari & Punjabi were standing on roof. They decided to throw down whatever was available in excess with them.
Englishman threw pounds, Bihari threw rice & Punjabi threw the Bihari down.
`
Great Calculation: Only 20% boys have brains.
Rest have Girlfriends…

Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends.
You order what you want, then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
`
Good news! A new way to send Romantic kiss to your girlfriend. Just call me and order your kiss. I will personally go and deliver it.
`
Mon to Sun, From Jan To Dec, From birth till my death, my feelings 4 u have never changed. For me, you’ve always been a headache!
`
A baby fish asked her mother: Y can’t we live on earth?
Mother Fish: Earth is not the place for FISH, it’s made for selfish.
`
Can v do romance in the evening today?
I’m in a good mood
Just a little bit of kissing and biting
reply me soon!
urs lovingly
“MOSQUITO”
`
If I was an artist,
you would be my picture!
If I was a poet,
you would be my inspiration!
If I was an author you would be my story!
But I’m only a cartoonist!
`
Boy: I am not rich like rohit, I don’t even have a bid car like rohit. But I really love you!
Girl: I love you too, but tell me more about Rohit..

An engineering student to his sweeper brother: I have got degree, I have got knowledge, I can sit in society. What do you have?
Sweeper: I have the job.
`
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
`
Gal: Do u have any sentimental love cards?
Shopkeeper: How about this card, it says ‘To the only boy I ever loved’
Gal: Great! I want 10 of them.
`
Beauty is not how you look, it is not how handsome u r, it is not ur figure too… Beauty is the inner self, so change ur underwear daily.
`
Always start your day with a lot of S E X
S-mile
E-nergy
X-citement
so make SEX a daily habit, & u’ll always be SMILING!
`
Q: What did the gangster’s son tell his dad when he failed his
examination?
A: Dad they questioned me for 3 hours but I never told them anything.”
`
Several women appeared in court, each accusing the other of the trouble in the flat where they lived. The judge called for orderly testimony. “I’ll hear the oldest first,” he decreed. The case was closed for lack of evidence.

No matter whether guys buy
225ccKarizmas or
220ccPulsars or
350ccRoyal Enfield
It cant overtake a beautiful girl on 80cc Scooty!

Rajnikant was practicing for a spelling test…
The rough sheet he used is now called THE OXFORD DICTIONARY!!!
`
Once Rajnikanth was on seat of KBC(Kon Banega krorpathi)…
And computer ji needed lifeline to choose a Question
`
Galileo used Lamp to study…. Graham Bell used Candle… Shakespeare studied under street light…..
Do you know about Rajinikanth??
Only Agarbathi
`
Rajni once kicked a football
now it revolves around the sun and is known as Pluto
`
Rajni’s once wrote his autobiography
and that book is now known as
“The Guiness book of world records”
`
One night while sleeping Rajni was mumbling something…
that is how log tables and Trignometric ratios were generated
`
Rajinikanth has already been to Mars, that’s why there are no signs of life there.
`
If you spell ‘Rajanikant’ wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajinikanth?” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”
`
Rajni once got angry with his domestic help. So he kicked him hard
and so great Harry Potter learnt the art of flying on a broom…
`
Roger Federer: “I have immense knowledge about Tennis, ask me any thing about it”
Rajni: “Tell me the number of HOLES in the NET”
`
Why did Rajnikanth buy an acre of land with 4 wells in each corner?
Just to play carrom…