Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

The Years of Engineering
F.E. Fond of Engineering
S.E. Sick Of Engineering
T.E. Tired of Engineering
Is it worth it???

Engineers Anthem:
Hum Honge All Clear,
Honge All Clear,
Honge All Clear Ek Din,
OH-HO, Mann me hai vishwas,
Pura hai vishwas,
Hum hoge all clear ek din.

Top two Engineering Rumours:
a) ‘Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm’
b) ‘Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks, it’s been put up at Main Notice Board’

In college days..she came into my life ..
I kept lookin at her.
She smiled..,
Yet i kept quiet…
She began 2 speak..,
I dint listen…And when she began 2 leave…,
I started running behind her requesting .

.

.
.

Mam …mam…mam
attendance…

Btech sylbus after sem8:
1.Daily food processing
2.chanel changin tecniques
3.kuthuvakku comunictn from family..
4.sleeping systms
5.viva by nattukar & famly
6.semnr on answring d topic, “jooli ayille?”
7.project on “wat to do next”.

My nights are going sleepless,

my days are going useless.

So I asked GOD, “is this love?”.

GOD replied, “no dear, result is near

If in examination hall
during d exam
u feel tht d paper is tough,
dont worry.
Just close ur eyes,
take a deep breath
n say 2 urself
“This is a very interesting subject.
I want to study it one more time”

A sleeping lion
is stronger
than a
barking dog.
so a
sleeping
student
is better
than a
barking teacher.
- By,
“ALL INDIA” Back Benchers Association..

PROFESSOR – Fools ask
so many questions
which make a
Wise man go Mad.
PAPPU – You are right sir, we go thru a
similar situation during
our exams.!

WHY is a Lecturer
Greater as compared
to a Mother.?
Bcause a mother can
put only 1 child to sleep, but…
A lecturer cAn put the
Whole clAss to sleep….!

A letter by a college student
The parents of a Northwestern student who just headed back from holiday received this letter:
Dear Mom and Dad:
Univer$ity life i$ $o wonderful! Cla$$e$ this $e$$ion are intere$ting, my cla$$mate$ are the be$t!
But after $pending all my ca$h on Chri$tma$ pre$ent$, I am in a little need for $ome $pending money for book$ and $uch. But don’t want to $end the wrong $ignal$ home.
Love
Your $on

After deliberating a while, this was the draft of their appropriate response:
Dear Son:
NOt much to NOtice here on the NOrth side of town since you left for NOrthwestern. NObody doing NOthing Noble.
Enjoyed having you home for Thanksgiving in NOvember and Christmas. NOthing is the same since you left.
Loved your NOte; write aNOther one when you have time.
Have to go NOw.
Mom & Dad

Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.
“What is the big brass gong and hammer for?” one of his friends asked.
“That is the talking clock”, the man replied.
“How’s it work?” the friend asked.
“Watch”, the man said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.
Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall “KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT! It’s two AM in the morning!

Blind Date
“How was your blind date?” a college student asked her 21 year old roommate.
“Terrible!” the roommate answered. “He showed up in his 1932 Rolls Royce.”
“Wow! That’s a very expensive classic car. What’s so bad about that?”
“He was the original owner.”

Correction
Deciding to take a day off from his important job, a young hot-shot broker went back to visit some of his professors at his old school. Entering the school, he saw a dog
attacking a small child. He quickly jumped on the dog and strangled it. The next day, the local paper reported the story with the headline “Valiant Student Saves Boy From
Fearsome Dog.”
The broker called the editor of the paper and strongly suggested that a correction be issued, pointing out that he was no longer a student, but a successful Wall Street broker.
The following day, the paper issued a correction, with a headline that read, “Pompous Stock Broker Kills School
Mascot.”

Physics
A college physics professor was explaining a particularly complicated concept to his class when a pre-med student interrupted him.
“Why do we have to learn this stuff?” one young man blurted out.
“To save lives,” the professor responded before continuing the lecture.
A few minutes later the student spoke up again. “So how does physics save lives?”
The professor stared at the student for a long time without saying a word. Finally the professor continued.
“Physics saves lives,” he said, “because it keeps certain people out of medical school.”

Exam by chance
A young student reported for a final examination that consisted of only true/false questions.
The student took a seat in the hall, stared at the test for five minutes, removed a coin from his pocket and started tossing the coin and marking the answer sheet. Heads meant true, tails meant false.
The young student finished the exam in 30 minutes, while the rest of the class was sweating it out.
Suddenly, during the last few minutes, the young student began desperately throwing the coin and sweating profusely.
The moderator, alarmed, approached the student and asked what was going on.
“Well, I finished the exam in half an hour,” said the student, “but I thought I ought to recheck my answers.”

WHY is a Lecturer
Greater as compared
to a Mother.?
Bcause a mother can
put only 1 child to sleep, but…
A lecturer cAn put the
Whole clAss to sleep….!

3 Students Didn’t
prepare for a Test.
They made a plan.
They went to the
DEAN next morning
and said  “Sir we had
gone for a wedding
and our car Tyre Bursted. So we had to push
all the way, so we
couldn’t study.”
The DEAN agrees
and gives them
3 Days Time.
After 3 days all three
were seated in
Different Rooms.
The paper consisted
of Just 1 Question…
.
.
.
.
.
WHICH TYRE BURSTED..?
a. Front Right
b. Front Left
c. Back Right
d. Back Left.????

What is Red and
goes Tring Tring.?

Guess

TOMATO
the Tring Tring was
to confuse you..
.
OK again
What is Red and goes
Tring Tring.?

guess

Black Phone
the Red was to confuse you..
.
OK again
what is Red and goes
Tring Tring.?

guess

CAKE
both Red and Tring Tring was to confuse you..
.
OK again
what is Red and goes
Tring Tring.?

guess

FIRE ENGINE
and you thought I was confusing you.
.
And that’s how they
ask in the exams.!
Be ready..

Someone said,
‘A Fool can Ask More Questions that a Wise person canNot Answer’
Student : No wonder why
so many of us are speechless when
Lecturers ask questions

This one is for those who had nightmares during their Engineering Viva’s. They bring back fond memories for those who care to smile at the past..

Interviewer: Why is a thicker conductor necessary to carry a current in A.C.as compared to D.C. ?
Candidate: An AC current goes up and down (drawing a sinusoid) and requires more space inside the wire, so the wire has to be thicker.

External (to student) : “Why does a capacitor block DC but allow AC To pass through ?
Student: See, a capacitor is like this —| |— , OK. DC comes straight, like this ———- , and the capacitor stops it. But AC,goes UP, DOWN, UP DOWN and jumps right over the capacitor!” .——————-good one

Interviewer: How will you tell if that wall outlet carries AC or DC?
Candidate: I will put my finger in. If it is pushed away, it is AC. If it gets stuck, it was DC.

Interviewer: H! ow will you reverse direction of an Induction motor?
Candidate: I will remove the four bolts at the x-ud, turn the motor around, and put back the bolts.

Interviewer: How do you start a synchronous motor?
Candidate: Vrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in rising pitch)
Interviewer: Stop! Stop!
Candidate: rrrrrrrmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm (in falling pitch)

Examiner: “What is a step-up transformer?”
Student: “A transformer that is put on top of electric poles.”
Examiner (smiling): “And then what is a step-down transformer?”
Student (hesitantly):” Uh – A transformer that is put in the x-udment or in a pit?”
Examiner (pouncing): “Then what do you call a transformer that is installed on the ground?”
(Student knows he is caught-can’t answer )
Examiner (impatiently): “Well?”
Student (triumphantly): “A stepless transformer, sir!”

TOP FACTS ABOUT ENGINEERS

Engineers at work:
Assignme! nts solved by one and then carry out mass transfer operations throughout the class

The most important machine for Engineers:
Xerox Machine (Without which assignment Completion couldn’t be possible)

Top two Engineering Rumours:
Did you hear the results are being put up today at 5:30pm’
‘Did you hear the exams are postponed by two weeks

Common Engineering Dialogues after a paper:
‘What is this man, 60% o f the paper was out of the syllabus’
‘This was the worst paper set in the entire
engineering history’ ‘I am failing’

How 2 spnd 3hrs in xam hall?
(2pm to 5pm)

2:00- 2:10 writ d reg no&sub cod
2:10-2:40 read crfuly d instrctn given
2:40-3:40 read d questn paper twice
3:40-4:15 see if you understand any question
4:15-4:20 ask 4 water & drnk
4:20-4:50 check whether u’ve filled al d details carfuly

#Last 10 mnts relax..