Baniya 14th floor se neche gira
Girte waqt usne
apni ghar ki khirki me
apni wife ko roti pakate hue dekha
to chilla k bola
MERI ROTI NAHI PAKANA!

Baniya ne sheikh ko khoon dey k uski jaan bachai.
Sheikh ne usay MERCEDEZ gift kardi.
Sheikh ko phir khoon ki zarorut pari,
Baniya ne phir khoon dia.
Ab k bar Sheikh ne till waly laddu gift kiye,
Baniya:Ghusse se, mercedez kion nahi di?
Sheikh:Munna… !! Ab hamarey ander bhi baniye ka khoon dor raha hay:)

Baniya called a newspaper office and asked: Mera Chacha Mar gaya hai, kya charges hongay?
NewsPaper: Rs.50 per word.
Baniya: Oh bohat ziyada hain, Acha likho “Chacha Guzar Gaye”.
Newspaper: Sir! It should be minimum 6 words!
Baniya: Oh ho! Jara sochnay do….. Acha likho……. ……… .
Chacha Guzar Gaye – Maruti for Sale ..

Baniya ask to Taxi Driver: CP wale gurudware jayega kya?
Taxi Driver: Han jaon ga.
Baniya ne jaib se lunchbox nikala or kaha:
Wapsi main langar ka khana lete aana.

Baniya ko bhoot charh gaya ,
3 din baad bhoot khud ek ojha k paas gaya aur bola,
Ojha sahab mujhe bahar Nikalo..! Warna me to bhookha hi mar jaon ga

Titanic K Sath Baniya Bhi Doob Raha Tha
Aur Hans Bhi Raha Tha
Dost: Oye Hans Kyun Raha Hai?
Baniya: Shukar Hai Main Ne Return Ticket Nahi Khareeda

* * *

Teacher: Tumhare papa 500 rupees loan lete hain. 10% interest ke hisab se voh 1 saal bad loan vapis karte hain. Batao kitne paise vapis karenge?
Bania’s son: Kutch bhi nahi.
Teacher: Tum maths nahi jante.
Banis’s son: Me to maths janta hu, par aap mere papa ko nahi jante.

* * *

Bania’s son: Daddy meri dur ki nazar kharab hai SPECKS banva do.
Kanjoos Bania took him outside & said: Voh dekh kya hai?
Son: Suraj
Kanjoos Bania: Abbe ullu ke patthe, aur kitni dur tak dekhna chahe hai TU.