Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Everyone thinks ofchanging the world,
But no one thinks of changing himself.
~Leo Tolstoy~

Believeing everybody is dangerious,
But believing nobody is more dangrious.
~Abraham Lincoln~

I will not say I failed 1000 times, I will say
that I discovered 1000 ways that can
cause failure.
~Thomas Alva Edison~

Wining doesn’t always mean being first,
wining eans you are doing better than
you have before.
~Bonniie Blair~

If we cannot love the person we see,
how can we love God, whome we cannot see…
~Mother Teresa~

Don’t compare yorself with anyone
in this world.
if you do so, you are insulting yourself.
~Alen Strike~

If you win, you need not have to explain…
if you lose, you should not be there
to explain!
~Adolf Hitler~

Three sentence for getting success:
“Know more then other, Work more then othe,
Expect less the other”
~William Shakspeare~

Never break four things in your life:
TRUSE, RELATION, PROMISE & HEART.
because when they break, they don’t
make noise but pains a lot.
~Charles Dickens~

“If soneone feels that they have never
made a mistake in their life,then it means
they have never tried a new thing in their life”
~Albert Einstein~

In a day when you don’t come across any
problems,you can be sure that you are
traveling in the wrong path.
~Swami Vivekananda~

If you judge people, you have no time
to love them.
~Mother Teresa~

We sit and we type, and we stare at our screens,
We all have to wonder, what this possibly means.
With our mouse we roam, through the rooms in a maze,
Looking for something or someone, as we sit in a daze.

We chat with each other, we type all our woes,
Small groups we do form, and gang up on our foes.
We wait for somebody, to type out our name,
We want recognition, but it is always the same.

We hugs, and sometimes flirt,
In IMs we chat deeply, and reveal why we hurt.
We do form friendships – but – why we don’t know,
But some of these friendships, will flourish and grow.

Why is it on screen, we can be so bold,
Telling our secrets, that have never been told.
Why is it we share, the thoughts in our mind,
With those we can’t see, as though we were blind.

The answer is simple, it is as clear as a bell.
We all have our problems, and need someone to tell.
We can’t tell “real” people, but tell someone we must,
So we turn to the ‘puter, and to those we can trust.

Even though it is crazy, the truth still remains,
They are Friends Without Faces, and odd little names.
deed for another day,
Morning has come in a special way,
May you smile like the sunny rays &
Leave your worries for some other day…

Eid ul adha is eid of sacrifice,
and commitment to Allahs orders,
May Allah bless us with the same in all circles of life,
and help all amongst us,
who are helpless,worried,
and waiting for his rehmat,
Ameen.Eid Mubarak.

May God send his Love like Sunshine
in his warm and gentle ways
to fill every corner of your Heart
and filled your Life with a lot of
Happiness like this EID DAY.
Wishing you EID MUBARAK.

Hope Love & Laughter,
warmth & wishes
joy and a Bouquet of Eid Wishes,
Especially for you!!!
jublications become a past of your eid and your life….!
EID MUBARAK

With all the love an sms can hold,
and happy wishes too..
This comes to say!
May this Eid day be wonderful for you..

I wish you ALL a very happy and peaceful Eid.
May Allah accept your good deeds,
forgive your transgressions and ease
the suffering of all peoples around the globe.
Eid Mubarak…

Thank you for our friendship
For it means so much to me,
Your kindness and understanding
And loving ways you share so free.

Thank you for being beside me
When I needed someone that cared,
And thank you for all your loyalty
For the times together we shared.

Thank you for our friendship
For it’s something even money can’t buy,
Thank you for holding me tightly
When there was a need I had to cry.

Thank you for always smiling
When I couldn’t smile at all,
And thank you for boosting my ego
For the times I felt so small.

Your friendship I cherish so deeply
So this message to you I send,
May God bless and always watch over you
And may you always remain my friend..

PROFESSOR: Gandhi Jayanti ke baray mein kya jantey ho?
MUNNA BHAI: Gandhi bahut jabardast aadmi tha, Baap. Maa Kasam,
par apun ko yeh nehin malum ke yeh Jayanti kaun hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT: Bhai, Bapu ne bola tha ke kabhi jhoot nehin bolna mangta hai.
Apun aaj se kabhi jhoot nehin bolega Bhai.
MUNNA BHAI: Aye Circuit, woh Sunita ka baap aya hai terayko dund rehla hai.
CIRCUIT: Bhai usko bolo apun gaon gaya hai, kheti karneko.
MUNNA BHAI: Par Circuit, abhi to tu bola kabhi jhoot nehin bolega.
CIRCUIT: Bhai, apun jhoot nehin bolega, par tum to bol sakta hai na.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU: Chand toh raat ko nikalta hai,
aaj din mein kaise nikal aya?
GIRL: Ullu to raat ko bolta hai,
aaj din mein kaise bol pada?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT: Bhai, woh apnay bachpan ka dost aarehla aaj raat ko dinner pe.
Mera sara chain collection apnay kamray mein chupa do na please.
MUNNABHAI: Kyun tera dost chor hai kya?
CIRCUIT: Nehin Bhai, woh apnay chain pechan lega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU: Bhai, apnay ko char mahinay mein Tamil sikhna padega. Kuch upay batao.
MUNNA BHAI: Tamil kyun, aur char mahinay ka kya chakkar hai?
MAMU: Meinay ek Tamil baccha adopt kiya hai, aur woh char mahinay mein bolne lagay ga.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI: Circuit, bole toh yeh Ford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bhai, gaadi hai.
MUNNA BHAI: Toh phir, yeh Oxford kya hai?
CIRCUIT: Bole toh, simple hai bhai, Ox mane Bael, Ford mane gaadi. Oxford bole toh Baelgaadi.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT: Aye Mamu, tereko papad aur jhapad mein pharak pata hai kya?
MAMU: Nehin.
CIRCUIT: To kha ke dekh le, pata chal jayega.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, apun bachpan mein dus maley ke building se gir gaya tha.
MAMU: Aarey, phir kya hua. Bach gaya ki tapak gaya?
MUNNA BHAI: Yaad nehin hai yaar. Bahut purane baat hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MUNNA BHAI: Mamu, tu kitna pada hai?
MAMU: B.A.
MUNNA BHAI: Sala, two akshar pada aur woh bhi ulta?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
MAMU: Oye, maar gayay yaar. Meri biwi aur premika saath saath aa rehla hai.
MAMU KA DOST: Arrey, mein bhi yehi bolnewala tha.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
CIRCUIT: Oye Short Circuit yeh light bulb pe baap ka naam kya likh raha hai?
SHORT CIRCUIT: Apun baap ka naam roshan kar rehle hai.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
PRINCIPAL: Agar koi ladka girls hostel mein gaya toh first time 100 Rs fine, 2nd time 200 Rs. Fine and 3rd time 500.
MUNNA BHAI: Monthly paas ka kya lega Mamu

* Engineering Collegela Padichi Engineer Agalam. Aana Presidency Collegela Padichi President Aga Mudiyuma???

* Bus Stop Kitta Wait Panna Bus Varum… Full Stop Kitta Wait Panna Full Varuma???

* Airtel Mobile Vachiirundalum… Aircel Mobile Vachiirundalum… Thumumbodhu Hutch Nu Than Satham Varum

* Oorukae Kaekura Madhiri Sathama Korratai Vittalum… Un Korattaya Nee Kaekamudiyadhu….

* Gold Vachi Gold Chain Pannalam Ana Cycle Vachi Cycle Chain Panna Mudiyuma???

* Enna Than 500 Km Speedula Puyal Kathu Adhichalum, Cycleluku Pump Vachi Than Kathu Adikanum…. Enna Ulagam Idhu…

* Auto Driver Ala Auto Otta Mudiyam!!! But Screw Driverala Screw Otta Mudiyum A???

* Nee Evalo Periya Padipalliya Irundhalum Exam Hall La Poi Padikka Mudiyadhu..

* School Testla Bit Adikkalaam……… College Testla Bit Adikkalaam……. Aanna Blood Testla Bit Adikka Mudiyaadhu……..

* Enna Than Naai Nandri Ullatha Than Irunthalum?? Athala Thank You Solla Mudeyathu!!! Idhuthan Valkai

* Lunch Bagla Lunch Kondu Poha Mudiyum… But School Bagla Shoola Kondu Pohamudiyumaaaa?

* Aayiram Than Irundhalum Aayirathi Onnu Than Perusu….

End of beautiful tamil thattuvams..

Lets welcome the year
which is fresh and new,
Lets cherish each moment it beholds,
Lets celebrate this blessful New year.
Merry X-mas

Christmas gift suggestions:
To your enemy, forgiveness.
To an opponent, tolerance.
To a friend, your heart.
To a customer, service.
To all, charity.
To every child, a good example.
To yourself, respect.

Can I have your picture,
so Santa Claus
knows exactly
what to give me.
Happy Christmas

Have an ideal Christmas;
an occasion that is celebrated
as a reflection of your values,
desires, affections, traditions.

May the joy and peace of Christmas
be with you all through the Year.
Wishing you a season of blessings
from heaven above. Happy Christmas

May the good times and treasures of the present
become the golden memories of tomorrow.
Wish you lots of love, joy and happiness.
MARRY CHRISTMAS

May your world be filled with warmth
and good chear this Holy season,
and throughout the year.
Wish your christmas be
filled with peace and love.
Merry X-mas

I am dreaming of white Christmas,
with every christmas card i write,
May your days be merry and bright,
and May all your christmases be white.
Happy Christmas.

I hope you have a wonderful christmas
have a great new year !
Hopefully santa will be extra good to you .
enjoy your holidays !

Jingle bells
Jingle bells
what fun it is to
wish our friends
a very happy merry christmas.

Christmas is not a time nor a season,
but a state of mind.
To cherish peace and goodwill,
to be plenteous in mercy,
is to have the real spirit of Christmas.

A Christmas candle is a lovely thing;
It makes no noise at all,
But softly gives itself away;
While quite unselfish,
it grows small.

From Home to home,
and heart to heart,
from one place to another.
The warmth and joy of Christmas,
brings us closer to each other.

A silent night,
a star above,
a blessed gift of hope
and love.
A blessed Christmas to you!

May this Christmas be so special
that you never ever feel lonely again
and be surrounded by loved ones throughout!

A silent night,
a star above,
a blessed gift of hope and love.
A blessed Christmas to you!

It was always said of him, that he knew how to keep Christmas well, if any man alive possessed the knowledge. May that be truly said of us, and all of us! And so, as Tiny Tim observed, “God Bless Us, Every One!

Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate this blissful New year. Merry X-mas.

Christmas is the season for kindling the fire of hospitality in the hall, the genial flame of charity in the heart.

Bless us Lord, this Christmas, with quietness of mind; Teach us to be patient and always to be kind.

In larkion se dil lagana ek bhool hai

In k peeche itna bhagna fazool hai

Jis din kisi larki ne keh diya “I LOVE U”

Tou samajh jana us din APRIL FOOL hai.

Flying papers,
multi colours of balloon,
delicated blossom,
fantastic people,
love and laughter.
What it describes?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Lets welcome the year which is fresh
Lets welcome the year which is fresh and new,
Lets cherish each moment it beholds, Lets celebrate
this blissful New year. Merry Christmas.

# Friendship Application
To,
The Dost,
I Miss You,

Subject: U MISS ME,

I Beg To say That i am The student of your FREINDSHIP CLASS,
I am feeling very lovely,
Mera Jee Nahi lag Raha Aap k Binna,
So kindly send Me lovely freindship sMs,

Thank you.

Your Loving friend

Someone as special as you,
who always thinks of others,
who’s true to her heart
and dedicated to her family,
deserves a wonderful birthday.
I hope your birthday is the best ever,
a memorable time that you’ll always look
back on fondly.
May the day bring you as
much beauty as a garden full
of pink roses in bloom,
and inspire hope for tomorrow.
Happy Birthday..!

Do you want to know a good way to fall in love?
Just associate all your pleasant experiences with someone,
And disassociate from all the unpleasant ones….
(Richard Bandler.)

Love is made by two people, in different kinds of solitude.
It can be in a crowd, but in an oblivious crowd….
(Louis Aragon.)

Passionate love is a quenchless thirst….
(Kahlil Gibran.)

I was waitin da nite to see da moon
It didn’t appear so i called da
Sky 2 ask where da moon is?
It told me da moon is readin ur msg:)

That ball went so high it could have got an air hostess down with it.

There is light at the end of the tunnel for India, but it’s that of an incoming train which will run them over.

Experience is like a comb that life gives you when you are bald.

This quote was made after Ganguly called Dravid for a run and midway sent him back and Dravid was runout in the third test against the West Indies at Barbados.”Ganguly has thrown a drowning man both ends of the rope.”

Sri Lankan score is running like an Indian taxi meter.

Statistics are like miniskirts, they reveal more than what they hide.

Wickets are like wives – you never know which way they will turn!

He is like Indian three-wheeler which will suck a lot of diesel but cannot go beyond 30!

The Indians are going to beat the Kiwis! Let me tell you, my friend, that the Kiwi is the only bird in the whole world which does not have wings!

As uncomfortable as a bum on a porcupine.

The ball whizzes past like a bumble bee and the Indians are in the sea.

The Indians are finding the gaps like a pin in a haystack.

The pitch is as dead as a dodo.

Deep Dasgupta is as confused as a child is in a topless bar!

The way Indian wickets are falling reminds of the cycle stand at Rajendra Talkies in Patiala…one falls and everything else falls!

Indian team without Sachin is like giving a Kiss without a Squeeze.

You cannot make Omelets without breaking the eggs.

Deep Dasgupta is not a Wicket Keeper, he is a goal keeper. He must be given a free transfer to Manchester United.

He will fight a rattlesnake and give it the first two bites too.

One, who doesn’t throw the dice, can never expect to score a six.

This was uttered after Eddie Nichols, the third umpire, ruled Shivnarine Chanderpaul ‘NOT OUT’ in the second test at Port of Spain, T&T. “Eddie Nichols is a man who cannot find his own buttocks with his two hands.”

Anybody can pilot a ship when the sea is calm.

Nobody travels on the road to success without a puncture or two.

You got to choose between tightening your belt or losing your pants.

The cat with gloves catches no mice.

Age has been perfect fire extinguisher for flaming youth.

You may have a heart of gold, but so does a hard-boiled egg.

He is like a one-legged man in a bum kicking competition.

The third umpires should be changed as often as nappies and for the same reason

Destiny is not a matter of chance,It’s a matter of choice; It’s not a thing to be waited for,It’s a thing to be achieved. ~William Jennings Bryan

When you know what you want, and you want it badly enough, you’ll find a way to get it. ~Jim Rohn

In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity. ~ Albert Einstein

The only limits are, as always, those of vision. ~James Broughton

Someone once asked me why do you always insist on taking the hard road? And I replied why do you assume I see two roads?

Success usually comes to those who are too busy to be looking for it. ~ Henry David Thoreau

Argue for your limitations and sure enough they are yours.~ Richard Bach

Adversity cause some men to break; others to break records.

Success seems to be largely a matter of hanging on after others have let go. ~ William Feather

A man can succeed at almost anything for which he has unlimited enthusiasm. ~ Charles Schwab

Challenges are what make life interesting; overcoming them is what makes life meaningful. ~ Joshua J. Marine

The thing always happens that you really believe in; and the belief in a thing makes it happen. ~ Frank Lloyd Wright

I’m a great believer in luck, and I find the harder I work the more I have of it. ~ Thomas Jefferson

He is the most unfortunate who’s today is not better than yesterday. ~Muhammad (PBUH)

Success can never be controlled, but performance always can. ~John F. Murray

If you are not big enough to lose, you are not big enough to win. ~Walter Reuther

Never stand begging for what you have the power to earn.

There are two ways of meeting difficulties: you alter the difficulties, or you alter yourself to meet them. ~Phyllis Bottome

Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

Success is how high you bounce when you hit bottom.

You always pass failure on the way to success. ~Mickey Rooney

Whenever I hear, ‘It can’t be done,’ I know I’m close to success ~ Michael Flatley

Without a sense of urgency, desire loses its value. ~ Jim Rohn

God gives every bird it’s food, but does not always drop it into the nest.

Kites rise highest against the wind not with it ~ Sir Winston Churchill

To make yourself exceptional is the biggest achievement of your life.

No one can make you feel inferior without your consent. ~ Eleanor Roosevelt