Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Ye jo ladkiyo ke baal hote hai,
Ladko ko fasaane ke jaal hote hai,
Khoon choos leti hai ladko ka saara,
Tabhi to inke hoth laal hote hai.

Ek family shole dekhne aai pati patni
Ae romanticly bola, “naach basanti naach”
Tabhi bacha chilaya-”mummy is kutte ke samane mat nachna.

Aasoo tera nikle aankh meri ho…
Dil tera dhadke to dhadkan meri ho…
Khuda kare dosti hamaari itani gahari ho
Joote aapko pade aur kartoot meri ho.

Aapse mulakaat ki ek azab nishaani hai,
Hasate-hasate aakhen bhar aati hai,
Zindagi me ho chaahe kitni pareshani,
Aapke saaye me har mushkil aasaan nazar aati hai.

Log kahte hai ki itna pyaar mat karo,
Ki pyaar dil par sawaar ho jaaye,
Ham kahate hai pyaar aisa karo ki,
Dushman ko bhi tumse pyaar ho jaaye.

Zindagi kisi ki amaanat nahi hoti,
Amaanat me kabhi khayaanat nahi hoti,
Dil ko sambhaalkar rakhna dost,
Meri dosti ki kaid me, zamaanat nahi hoti.

Zindagi nahi hame doston se pyaari,
Dosto pe haazir hai jaan hamaari,
Aakhon me hamaare aansu hai to kya,
Jaan se bhi pyaari hai muskuraahat tumhaari.

Kuch vaade bhi the… kuch iraade bhi the…
kuch hasrate bhi thi… kuch chaahte bhi thi…
Hua karte the ham bhi kisi ke kabhi,
Koi hamdam hamaare bhi the.

Mohabbat bhi kya cheez hai…
Na chain isme…na karaar isme,
Dil rahe bekaraar isme…
Dilbar agar chod jaaye o,
Zindagi bekaar isme…

Kaash dil ki aawaaz me itna asar ho jaaye,
Ham aapko yaad kare aur aapko khabar ho jaaye.

Yaad karte hai yaaro ko,
Yaadon se dil bhar aata hai,
Kabhi saath jiya karte the,
Lekin aaj milne ko dil taras jaata hai.

Ye dosti ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hai,
Sabke apane-apane naseeb hote hai,
Rahte hai jo nigaaho se door,
Vahi sabse kareeb hote hai.

Daulat aur shauharat sabke paas hai,
Khushiyaa aur gam sabke naseeb me hai,
Pyaar aur nafarat sabke dil me hai,
Par khushnaseeb hai ham, jo tum jaisa dost hamaare paas hai

Mausam ki bahaar achi ho,
Phoolon ki kaliya kachi ho,
Hamaare ye rishte sache ho,
Rab tere se bas ek dua hai ki,
Mere yaar ki har subah achi ho.

Tum mujhe bhula na paaoge,
Is kadar ham tumhe yaad aayenge…
Yakeen na aaye to aaine me dekhna,
Teri aakhon me ham nazar aayenge.
-Neha Shah

You say that love is nonsense….
I tell you it is no such thing.
For weeks and months it is a steady physical pain,
an ache about the heart,
never leaving one, by night or by day; a long strain on one’s
nerves like toothache or rheumatism, not intolerable at any one instant,
but exhausting by its steady drain on the strength.
* Henry Adams*

Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator,
but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make laugh.
* W. H. Auden*

Sympathy constitutes friendship; but in love there is a sort of antipathy,
or opposing passion. Each strives to be the other,
and both together make up one whole.
* Samuel Taylor Coleridge*

When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions
May wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams
As the north wind lays waste the garden.
For even as love crowns you
so shall he crucify you.
Even as he is for your growth
So is he for your pruning.
The Prophet by Gibran Khalil Gibran

Love, with very young people, is a heartless business.
We drink at that age from thirst, or to get drunk;
it is only later in life that we occupy ourselves with the
individuality of our wine.
* Isak Dinesen*

Love must not touch the marrow of the soul.
Our affections must be breakable chains that we
can cast them off or tighten them.
* Euripedes*

Today I begin to understand what love must be, if it exists…
When we are parted, we each feel the lack of the
other half of ourselves. We are incomplete like a book in
two volumes of which the first has been lost.
That is what I imagine love to be: incompleteness
in absence
* Preeti Bansal*

No matter what you’ve done for yourself or for humanity,
if you can’t look back on having given love and attention to
your own family, what have you really accomplished?
* Lee Iacocca*

This was love at first sight, love everlasting: a feeling unknown,
unhoped for, unexpected– in so far as it could be a matter of
conscious awareness; it took entire possession of him,
and he understood, with joyous amazement,
that this was for life.
* Thomas Mann*

A man reserves his true and deepest love not for the species
of woman in whose company he finds himself electrified and enkindled,
but for that one in whose company he may feel tenderly drowsy.
* George Jean Nathan*

We conceal it from ourselves in vain–we must always love something.
In those matters seemingly removed from love, the feeling is
secretly to be found, and man cannot possibly
live for a moment without it.
* Blaise Pascal*

Love is something far more than desire for sexual intercourse;
it is the principal means of escape from the loneliness
which afflicts most men and women throughout
the greater part of their lives.
* Bertrand Russell*

Love has features which pierce all hearts, he wears a bandage
which conceals the faults of those beloved. He has wings,
he comes quickly and flies away the same.
* Voltaire*

Love is always bestowed as a gift – freely, willingly and
without expectation. We don’t love to be loved; we love to love.
*Leo Buscaglia*

To live a life i need heartbeat,
2 have heartbeat i need a heart,
2 have heart i need happiness,
to have happiness i need a friend,
and 4 a friend i need U ALWAYS

Newspaper Mein News Lagi K
50% Of Sardars Are Donkey
The Sardars Protested.
Next Day News Lagi K
50% Of Sardars R Not Donkeys
The Sardars Celebrated.

Love is possible after friendship,
But
Friendship is not possible after love,
Because
Medicines work before death
Later nothing can be cure!!!

To

Juliet
Grade 7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms Juliet,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 14th of October (Saturday).

With reference to the meeting held between us on the 13th of Oct. At 1500 hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover.

Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent.

Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse.

The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take up a larger share of the expenses.

However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else.

I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.

Wish you all the best!

Thanking you in anticipation,

Yours sincerely,
Romeo (HR Manager

Hi,
Friends now my sms are also available at

Teri dosti hum is tarah nibhayenge,
Tum roz khafa hona hum roz manayenge,
Par maan jana manane se,
Warna yeh bheegi palkein le ke kaha jayenge.
Woh ruthte rahe hum manate rahe,
Unki raahon me palkein bichate rahe,
Unhone kabhi palat ke bhi na dekha,
Hum ankh jhapkane se bhi katrate rahe.
Yaadon ki dhund me aapki parchai si lagti hai,
Kaanon me gunjti shahnai si lagti hai,
Aap karib ho to apnapan hai,
Warna seene me saanse bhi parai si lagti hai.
Woh inkar karte hain ikrar ke liye,
Nafrat bhi karte hain to pyar ke liye,
Ulti chaal chalte hain yeh ishqwale,
Ankhein band karte hain didar ke liye.
Kuch nasha to aapki baat ka hai,
kuch nasha to dheemi barsaat ka hai,
humein aap yun hi sharabi na kahiye,
is dil par asar to aap se mulakat ka hai !
- MOHD ASLAM

Sardar:Sir my wife is missing.
Postman:BHAI ye post office hai,
police station jao..
Sardar:Sorry sir khusi k mare
kuch samajh he nahi Par raha!

Aaj maine ek jaan bachai.
maine ek Fakir ko puchha –
1000 rupees ka note du to kya karega.??
Woh Bola khushi se mar jaunga.
.Maine kaha- Ja nahi deta.

Indian-I have 4-Sisters & 3-Brothers.
What about U?
American-I have No Sis or Bro,
but I have 4-Moms From my 1st Dad
& 5-Dads From my 1st Mom.

Lambi Umar ke liye kya karna chahiye ?
Ans = Shaadi…
Us se kya Zindagi Lambi ho jati hai ?
Ans = Nahi.., Lambi lagne lagti hai..!

Mohabbat ko majboori ka naam mat do,
haqiqat ko haadso ka naam mat do,
agar dil mein pyar ho kisi ke liye
to usey dosti ka naam mat do.

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It means

ONE HUNDRED & FORTY THREE

2morrow I will teach u 144

Do not count what u have lost.
Just see what u have now,
Because past never comes back
But sometimes future can give
U back ur lost things! `good night`.

Let the most beautiful dream come to u tonight,
Let the sweetest person come in ur dream tonight….
But dont make it a habit bcoz I m not free every night.
Goodnight

When an angel came to me,
He asked: “What is your wish for tonight?”
I said “Please take care of the person
who’s reading this message.”
Good night!

Dreaming of you makes my night worthwhile,
Thinking of you makes me smile,
Being with you is the best thing ever,
And loving you is what I’ll do forever..
Good night

A Sardar is traveling via train. On his way, he feels the urge to go
to the bathroom. So he goes and opens the bathroom door, which
happens to have a mirror in the front. The sardar thinks there is
another sardar bhaiwaal in there, quickly shuts the door and returns
to his seat. 5 minutes later he goes again, only to find the same
sardar bhaiwaal. An hour passes away, he’s made 20 trips to the
bathroom, only to find that the same person is still there. So he
finally gets ticked off, goes to the last compartment and tells the TC
(Ticket Checker) what’s been going on. The TC, which also happens to
be a sardar, feels bad for him and promises to throw the bum out. The
TC walks down to the compartment with the troubled bathroom to get the resident bhaiwaal out.

Few minutes later the TC comes back and tell the sardar “I’m sorry, I
can’t do anything. The guy in there is a railway staff member”.

Koi gila-koi shikva na rahe aapse,
Ye aarjoo hai ki ek silsila rahe aapse,
Bas is baat ki badi ummeed hai aapse,
Khafa na ho agar ham khafa rahe aapse.

Dil se ye dua hai hamari,
Zindagi tumhaari savar jaaye…
Har nazar me bas pyaar nazar aaye,
Tumhe jiski talaash hai ‘dost’,
Khuda kare vo khud tumhaari talaash me aaye.

Chaand taaron ka noor aap pe barase,
Har koi aapki chaahat ko tarse,
Aapki zindagi me aaye itni khushiya,
Ki aap ek gam paane ko tarase.

Vada na karo agar tum nibha na sako,
Chaaho naa use jise tum pa na sako,
Dost to duniya me bahut hote hai,
Par ek khaas rakho, jiske siva tum muskura na sako.

Vo aate to hai par saamne se nahi,
Vo chalte to hai par man se nahi,
Kaun kahta hai ki pyaar nahi karte,
Karte to hai par hamse nahi.
-Neha Shah

Mene usey pyar likh bejha…haal-e-dil paigam likh bheja…
mene poocha tere hooth kaise hai..usne jaam likh bheja..
mene poocha tere baal kaise hai..usne kudrat ka inaam likh bheja..
mene poocha itna tadpate kyon ho..usne javani ka intekaam likh bheja..
mene poocha kab hogi mulakaat..usne Quamat ke shaam likh bheja…
mene poocha tumhe nafrat kis se…ZALIM ne mera NAAM likh bheja….!!!!!!!!!
- Sudhir

These are ads taken from actual matrimonial sites – guys searching for brides. Grammar and spell errors have no place in a profile description as everything is straight from the heart! Disclaimer : I am not responsible if you forget your basic grammar after reading this…..
*****

hello…. My name Arthi….. I am a good characterized woman. I want to run my life happily. I expect the good minded and clean habits boy to marry me soon…. who may be in the same caste . If anyone want to Marie to me u can visit to my home (Ghar Chale aana……..???)
*****

Hello, To Viewers My Name is Shekhar , I am single i don’t have female, I am not a good education but i working all field in Bangalore.. if u like me u welcome to my heart…when ever u want to meet pls visit my resident or send u letter.. Thanks yours Regards Shekhar
*****

I want very simple girl. from Brahmin educated family from orissa state she is also know about RAMAYAN, GEETA BHAGABATA, and other homework (Homework?)
*****

Wants a woman who knows me better and can adjust with me forever. she may never create any difficulties in my life or her life by which the entire life can run smoothly. thank you (The principle of running life smoothly was never so easy!)
*****

She should be good looking and should have a service. she Should have one brother and one sister. she should be educated. (ain’t it unique !! 1 brother 1 sister criteria !)
*****

I am a happy-go-lucky kind of person. Enjoys every moments of life. I love to make friendship. Because friendship is a first step of love. I am looking for my dream girl who will love me more than i. Because i love myself a lot. If u think that is u then why to late come on ……..hold my hand forever !!! (The dilwale dulhaniya effect)
*****

I am simple boy. I have lot of problem in my life because of my luck now i am looking one gal she care me and love me lot lot (I don’t know why but this is one of my favorites)
*****

My wife should be as ‘Shivani’ as in Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki and as Tanwerr as in KSBKBT…… (Ok I haven’t seen these soaps but I am sure he must be demanding too much,ain’t he?)
*****

I want a girl with no drinks if she wants she can wear jeans in house but while stepping out of house she should give respect to our cast (by not wearing her jeans? Wat the hell…)
*****

HYE I AM A GOOD LOOKING BOY ,WHO HAS THE CAPABILITY TO MAKE ANY BODY TO LAUGH’S BELIEVE IN GOD AND ACCORDING TO ME FRIENDS ARE THE REAL MESSENGER OF GOD.

THE 3 THINGS I AM LOOKING FROM A GIRL ,THEY ARE 1.THEY MUST BELIEVE IN GOD.2. THEY HAVE TO LIKE MY PROFESSION AND THEY SHOULD NOT GET BORED WITH ME WHEN I WILL TRY TO MAKE THEM LAUGH. (all of us are loughing{laughing})
*****

Whatever she may be but she should feel that she is going to be someone bride and she must think of the future life if she is too like this she would be called the woman of the lamp (I am clueless, I feel so lost. Can anyone tell me what this boy wants)
*****

I love my partner i marriage the partner ok i search my partner and i love the partner ok thik hai the partner has a graduate ok (I am again clueless but I liked the use of “ok”. The person is suffering from “Ok-syndrome”)
*****

HI I AM VERY COOL NUATHER OK MY HOBBY IS SEE TV AND NEWS OK I HAVE 1 CAR AND 1 BOWL OK MY MOTHER ALSO GOOD OK MY FARUET WORLD IS OK (the “ok syndrome” again)
*****

I am pran my family history my two brother two sister and Father&mother sister complity marred (somebody please explain in comments section how to get married ‘completely’?)
*****

I am very simple and honest. i have three sister one brother and parent. iam doing postal service and tailor master my original residence at kalahandi diste naw iam staing at rayagada dist. (actually what is this guy doing? Postal service or tailor.??)
*****

My name is muhamad and i am unmarried. please you marriage me please please please please please please please (height of desperation! J )
*****

I want one girl who love me or my mother. she love me heartily or she have frank she’s skin color ‘normal’ not a black or not a whitey. I Think the main think is heart if your heart is beautiful then you are beautiful. but iam not a handsome guy or not a good looking. but my Mom say that Iam a good guy. My father already expired . THE CHOICE IS YOUR. bye bye. (uttama purushan)
*****

Iam kanan. i do owo businas.one sistar.he was marred. (No comments)
*****

I AM LITTLE FAIR INDIAN COLOR. I DON’T HAVE ANY HABIT. (maybe the poor guy meant BAD habits)
*****

My color is black, but my heart is white. I like social service (Zebra..???)
*****

I’m looking out for who lives in Bombay, girl simple who trust me lot should be roman catholic, LOVE ME ONLY. (Now that criterion is a must, isn’t it?)
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To be married on jun-2006. working woman preferable (this guy has fixed the marriage date too! But he is yet to find a bride. I wish him best of luck on behalf of all of us. I am sure he will get one soon.)
*****

I would like a beautiful girl. and I do not want her any treasure. because girl is the maharani. (Now she is going to be a lucky girl! Any takers?)
*****

ssc failed three times and worked with private ltd company which not paying salary at present. (Any takers again?)
*****

A.M.Rajarama Rao
Creator’s work is acknowledged and appreciated.

Khushi is had se gujri aa gaye muskan ko aanshu;
Kahin koi luta to aa gaye imaan ko aanshu!
Chadhaa kar loot ki sampatti sabane jeet mangi to;
Pujaari muskuraya, aa gaye bhagwaan ko aanshu!