Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

A Sardar, his wife with son and daugher went to a
party.. he introduced his family to his friends
saying..” I am Sardar.. and this is Sardarnee …
this is my kid and that is my kidney…!!”

American says “US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai..”
Sardarji ” India me to.. shaadi Fe-mail se hoti hai…!!!”
Nurse – “Mubarak ho.. Sardarji.. aap papa ban gaye..”
Sardarji – ” Meri wife ko nahi bolna.. main use
surprise doonga..!”

What is the difference between WATCH & WIFE ………
Ek bigadti hai to bandh ho jati hai……
Doosari bigadati hai to “SHUROO’ ho jati hai

Ek sardar apne bete se bola : Bevakuf, kaisa machis leke aaya hai,
ek bhi tili nahin jalti.
Beta : Kya baat karte ho papa, sab tili test karke laya hu.

Doctor to Sardaar : App ka aur aapki biwi ka blood group ek hi hai?
Sardaar : Hoga, Jarur hoga; 25 saalse mera khoon jo pee rahi hai….

Sardar found answer to most difficult question question ever
What comes first – the chicken or the egg ?
O yaar, jiska order pahele dooge, wo ayega !!!

Shant niwant shishir sarala.
Salsalata hirwa vasant aala.
Kokilechya suravatee sobat, chaitra”PADVA” dari aala.
“Nutan Varshabhinandan.”

Swagat nav varshache.
Asha aakankshache.
Sukh samruddhiche, padata dwari paaul GUDHICHE.
“Happy Gudipadwa”

Sunehri Dhoop Barsaat ke baad
Sunehri dhoop barsaat k bad,
thori si hansi her baat ke baad,
usi tarah ho mubarak aap ko 2009, 2008 k baad.
Wish u a Happy Hindi new year.

A – U r Attractive
B – U r the Best
C – U r Cute
D – U r Dear 2 Me
E – U r Excellent
F – U r Funny
G – U r Good-Looking
H – hehehe
I – I’m
J – JOKING
Happy April Fool Day

In hasino se Rasme Wafa
or Dil Lagana sarasar bhool hai…
Jis din ye ikrar karen mohabbat ka,
Samajh lena us din APRIL FOOL hai…!

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor asked for ticket. He gave
Rs.10/- and took the ticket and said April fool. I have pass.

Sardar joined new job. 1st day he worked till late evening on the computer.
Boss was happy and asked what you did till evening.
Sardar : Keyboard alphabets were not in order, so I made it alright.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have one more.

Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are
you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler.

Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with “T”.
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara gaadi
petrol se start hoti hai.

Boss : Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

How will you destroy a submarine full of sardars ?
Simple. Just knock the door and they will open it.

FOOL ne
FOOLon ki
FOOLWARI main
FOOL ke saath wish kiya hai
u r the most
BEAUTIFOOL
WONDERFOOL
and ColorFOOL
amngst all FOOL’s
HAPPY APRIL FOOL’s DAY

HAPPY APRIL FOOL – 2009!!!

Have a nice foolish day ahead….

If Today Anyone
Talks & Praises
You For Your
1) Gud looks
2 ) Nature
3 ) Style
4 ) Attitude,

Kick Them Off.
How Dare They
FOOL U
Before
April 1st.

Sardar-Oye putter tere result da ki hoya.?
Putter-papaji is class
wich ik sal aur lagega Sardar-koi gal nahi putter, 2 saal lage ya 3,
Fail mat hona

It will be absolutely
Safe to conduct the
IPL Matches during the Elections as all the
Criminals and Terrorists
in India will be busy contesting the elections.

Some great healing foods for Diabetes are
Bengal gram, Bitter gourd, Fenugreek (methi seeds), Grape fruit,
Indian Gooseberry (Nelli), Groundnuts,
Jambu fruit (jamun),
Kidney beans (rajmah), Lime, Lettuce, Mango leaves and Soyabeans.

Life-la Jeyikkanumna ”Nannban” theavai.,.But life fulla Jeyikkanumna
‘YEDHIRI” theavai., – Maveeran Alexander….

“Yen idhayatthil 0attai yendruDoctor sonaar,
-
avarukku yenna theriyum, adhu Yen Nannbargall Varum Vaasal yendru.!!

Super Friendship
Punch Dialogue :
“Singaththai Yaaralum
Konja Mudiyaadhu.
Nam Friendship’ai
Yaaralum Minja Mudiyaadhu”.

Today World Water Day Petrol, Diesel, Gas
Poattu Vandi Oatta Government Permission Kodukkudhu
Appo Naama
‘THANNI’ Poattu Vandi Oattunaa Yean
Police Pidikkudhu.?

Josiyar : 7aavadhu
Veetiley Irukkura Raagu parpadhaal Unga Ponnukku
Nalla yoagam.!
.
.
Ponnu : Appaa.! josiyar Thappaa solraar.
Avar peyaru Raagu illai,
Raghu.!

And He said to me,
“Son of man, listen carefully and take to
heart all the words
I speak to you. Go now
to your countrymen
in exile and speak to them. Say to them, ‘This is
what the sovereigin
Lord says,’ whether
they listen or fail to listen.” – Ezekiel 3:10,11.

Words of HITLER -
“Think 1000 times
before taking a decision
but never get back
even if you get
1000 obstacles..”.

If you get too enamored with your own creation,
you will miss the
Creator’s creation.- SADHGURU.

Life is too short to
wake up with regrets.
Love the people who
treat you right.
Forget about the ones
who don’t…

Be Cool
Aim high
Take pains
Every minute is precious
Reflect before you act
Be up to date
Push the troubles
Make the light of
your future.

Life is a long travel….
On the way we meet
many persons…
But someone lives
in our heart forever without our permission,
like you….

HE who dwells in the
secret place of the
Most High Shall abide
under the shadow of
the Almighty. – PSALM : 91.1

Unless you are
free from the process
of your own mind,
unless you are free
from the process of
your own body
there is really no
such thing as freedom
- SADHGURU

Today’s Technical Mokkai :
one boy had a
Periya Vayiru, so he
went to doctor to reduce it. Doctor advised him to
drink Ujala.
Because when he drinks ujala his Tooth will
become Blue and as you know
Bluetooth is “Vayirless”…

Two Patients Limp into Different Clinics with
the Same Complaint.
The First is examined in
an hour, X-rayed same day, booked for Surgery
Next day.
The Second sees
Family Doctor after
waiting 3 Weeks for
an appointment,
then waits 8 Weeks
to see a Specialist,
gets an X-ray and
finally has his surgery scheduled after 3 months.
Why the treatment
Differs for the
two patients.?
.

.

.

.

The First is a
Golden Retriever.
The Second is a
Senior Citizen.!

A Successful person is
one who can lay a
firm foundation with
the bricks others have thrown at him.

When I say to a wicked man, ‘You will surely die,’ and you do not warn him
or speak out to dissuade him from his evil ways
in order to save his life, that wicked man will die
for his sin, and I will
hold you accountable
for his blood.- Ezekiel 3:18.

Two aspects of life :
If we become too sentimental it’s
too hard to lead our life.
If we become too
practical it’s too tough
to maintain relations..

When you are torn by
the pain of ignorance,
then a Master arrives . . . – SADHGURU.

Blood of CHRIST.
You are redeemed
with the precious
blood of Christ, as
of a lamb without
blemish and without
spout.- 1 Pet 1:18,19.

“When I was Young
I was called
a Rugged Individualist.
When I was in
my Fifties I was
considered Eccentric.
Here I am
doing and saying the
Same things I did then
and I’m labeled Senile.”- George Burns, Comedian.

The Ladder of Success
is Never Crowded
at the Top.
There is a keen
Competition at the Bottom.
. .
But there is always a Vacancy at the Top….

The very experience
of life is only in the
depth of your involvement. Have you noticed
whatever you did
with involvement has
always been a joy.?- SADHGURU.

Do you know the
difference between
an Itch and an Allergy.?
Ans. :
.
.
.
About Rs.250/- a visit.!

TEACHER – Pappu, do you Eat Eggs.?
PAPPU – No Sir.
TEACHER – Why.?
PAPPU- Because when
I Eat an Egg, I Only
remember my
Maths exam Marks.

Newton’s Modified Law :- Every book
Continues to be
in the state of
Rest or covered
with Dust, until
an external or
internal Exam appears.

Do you know the
Full Form of ‘COLLEGE’.? -
C – Come
O – On
L – Let’s
L – Love
E – Each
G – Girl
E – Equally……
Is that why Boys Go to College Regularly.?…

Politician to Astrologer : Swami, the Auspicious Day you had given for
Filing the
Nomination Papers
is Fine, But. . .
.
.
.

That Date is After
the Last Date. .