Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

In a City Bus:
LADY1 : Yennaadi
Oruthan 5 Nimishamaa
Un Jacketukkulla Kaiyyai
Vittukkuttu irukkaie.?

LADY2 : Ulla Naan
Mannipparsu vaikkalai.!
Avan nalla Yeamaara
poaraan.!

Friend means:
“F”ree from all formalities,
“R”ight to say anything,
“E”ither good or bad,
“N”o sorry no thanks,
“D”ear to dearest one…

Youwalked lightly into
my life and lovely to
my mind.
At first i never cared
who you are, now I
don’t know who I’m
without YOU.”

“Vaazhakkayil Anbaana
uravugall kidaippadhu
mukkiyam all
Vaazhnaall muzhuvadhum
avargaludan anbaaga
iruppadhu dhaan mukkiyam”.
-yendrum “ANBUDAN”
Ungall ANBAN

Why is a Woman’s mind
Clearer than a Man’s.?

Ans.

She Changes it More Often.!

“Kaadhal” seiyya
“Panam thevayillai”
“Azhagu thevayillai”
Gunam thevayillai
“Padippu thevayillai”

“Kangall” mattum
irundhaal poadhum
“KANNEER VADIPPADHARKKU”

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, Where would they bury the survivors?
Q: Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be left?
Q: If there’s a frog, dead in the centre of a lily-pond which is right in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?
Q: You’re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is, what color are the bus drivers eyes?
Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet…how come?
Q: David’s father has three sons : Snap, Crackle and _____ ?
Q: What has:A mouth but doesn’t eat, A bank with no money, A bed but doesn’t sleep, and Waves but has no hands?
Q: A cowboy rode to an inn on Friday. He stayed two nights and left on Friday. How could that be?
Q: If the red house is on the right side and if the blue house is on the left side where’s the white house?
A: You don’t bury survivors.A: ‘Each’ is a mans name! A: Neither, the frog is dead! A: The same as yours, you’re the bus driver.A: The sea! A: He was bald. A: DavidA: A river.A: His horse was called Friday.A: Washington DC

LOVE is more than a four letter word
it packs more power than any we’ve heard.

LOVE can turn a frown into a smile
make our day more worthwhile.

LOVE never fails, love never tires
makes more heat than many fires.

LOVE makes us tingle and walk on air
helps us do things we wouldn’t dare.

LOVE is a dream, a sweet fantasy
but it is also life and reality.

LOVE can fly us up so high
drop us low when it says goodbye.

LOVE is a strange mysterious force
but one we want to keep of course.

LOVE we don’t want to live without
when it’s absent, we will pout.

LOVE can go and new love return
better than before you will learn.

LOVE that is perfect and is right
may come along any day or night.

Yes LOVE is more than a four letter word
it’s the most wonderful word you have heard.

“The Life without Smile is a Life without meaning”

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don’t believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.
FOUR. When you say, ‘I love you,’ mean it.

FIVE. When you say, ‘I’m sorry,’ look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone’s dreams. People who don’t have dreams don’t have much.

NINE. Love deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it’s the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don’t judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN! . When someone asks you a question you don’t want to answer, smile and ask, ‘Why do you want to know?’

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say ‘bless you’ when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R’s: Respect for self; Respect for others; and Responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY- ONE. Spend some time alone.

1. Regular naps prevent old age… especially if you take them while driving.

2. Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

3. Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

4. They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried- but they wanted cash.

5. A child’s greatest period of growth is the month after you’ve purchased new school uniforms.

6. Don’t feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

7. Don’t marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without… but whatever you do, you’ll regret it later.

8. You can’t buy love. . But you pay heavily for it.

9. True friends stab you in the front.

10. Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

11. Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

12. Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

13. My wife and I always compromise. I admit I’m wrong and she agrees with me.

14. Those who can’t laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

15. Ladies first. Pretty ladies sooner.

16. It doesn’t matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

17. They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

18. Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

19. Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

20. Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books

Love Is When You Don’t Want To Go To Sleep,
Because Reality Is Better Than A Dream.

world is cruel, Love is blind.
Lost in sadness, Blur In mind. Heart is broken,
flame had Died. Time Has passed but
why is he… still not mine…

No one is too young for love,
because love doesn’t come from your mind,
which knows your age, but from your heart,
which knows no age.

Love is like a cloud…
love is like a dream…
love is 1 word and
everything in between…
love is a fairytale come true…
Coz I found
love when I found U.

It hurts to love someone and not be loved in return,
but what hurts more is to love someone,
and never find the courage to let them know
how you feel.

It takes a minute to have a crush,
an hour to like someone,
and a day to love someone,
but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.

I’m scared to fall in love,
scared to fall fast, because every time
I fall in love… it never seems to last.

People say you only fall in love once,
but when I hear your voice
I fall in love all over again

Love is to think about someone
else more times in a day than you think
about yourself.

“Friends forever,” you promised.
“Together till the end.”
We did everything with each other.
You were my best friend.

When I was sad, you were by my side.
When I was scared, you felt my fear.
You were my best support -
If I needed you, you were there.

You were the greatest friend,
You always knew what to say:
You made everything seem better.
As long as we had each other,
Everything would be okay.

But somewhere along the line,
We slowly came apart.
I was here, you were there,
It tore a hole in my heart.

Things were changing,
Our cheerful music reversed its tune.
It was like having salt without pepper,
A sun without its moon.

Suddenly we were miles apart,
Two different people, with nothing the same.
It was as if we hadn’t been friends;
Although we knew deep in our hearts
Neither one of us was to blame

You had made many new friends
And luckily, so had I
But that didn’t change the hurt -
The loss of our friendship made me cry.

As we grow older, things must change
But they don’t always have to end.
Even though it is different, now,
You will always be my friend.

Here is an explanation of the school homework policy:

Students should not spend more than 90 minutes per night. This time should be budgeted in the following manner:

15 minutes looking for assignment.

11 minutes calling a friend for the assignment.

23 minutes explaining why the teacher is mean and just does not like children.

8 minutes in the bathroom.

10 minutes getting a snack.

7 minutes checking the TV Guide.

6 minutes telling parents that the teacher never explained the assignment.

10 minutes sitting at the kitchen table waiting for Mom or Dad to do the assignment.

A New Day Is Born

Every single day, with new morning

Birds are the first to have

Their say,

Filled with promise, a new day is born

A New Day Is Born

Send to you the days

First hello Filled with sunny thoughts

And a wish for you to be happy wherever

You go

A New Day Is Born

Have a wonderful Day Ahead!!

LOG MOHABBAT KO KHUDA KAHTE HAI
PYAR KARAY TO USAY ILLZAAM DETE HAI
KEHTAY HAI PATHAR DIL ROYA NAHI KARTAY
FIR PAHAADO SE HI KYU ZERNA GIRA KARTAY HAI …

WOH YARO KI MAHFIL WO MUSKURATE PAL
DIL SE JUDA HAI APNAY BEETAY HUA KAL
KABHI GUJARI THI ZINDAGI LAMHOO KO JUTANE MEIN
AAJ WAQT GUZAR JATE HAI KAGAZ KE PATTE KAMANE MAY…