Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Rich

“Who is rich? He that is content. Who is that? Nobody.”
Benjamin Franklin

“Do not be fooled into believing that because a man is rich he is
necessarily smart. There is ample proof to the contrary.”
Julius Rosenwald

“We are rich only through what we give, and poor only through what
we refuse.”
Anne-Sophie Swetchine

“Rich gifts wax poor when givers prove unkind.”
William Shakespeare

“Life engenders life. Energy creates energy. It is by spending
oneself that one becomes rich.”
Sarah Bernhardt

“If all the rich people in the world divided up their money among
themselves there wouldn’t be enough to go around.”
Christina Stead

“That man is the richest whose pleasures are the cheapest.”
Henry David Thoreau

“It is necessary that you feel comfortable when you talk about
money, because you have truly been Born Rich.”
Bob Proctor

If you’re too lazy to start anything, you may get a reputation for patience.

…….

I’m on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

…….

I talk to myself because I like dealing with a better class of people.

…….

Never try to drown your troubles… Especially if he can swim.

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Smile, it makes people wonder what you’re thinking.

…….

Don’t be so open-minded your brains fall out.

…….

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk I have a work station.

…….

By the time a man realizes that his father was usually right, he has a son who thinks he’s usually wrong.

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Teachers are those who help us in resolving problems which, without them, we wouldn’t have.

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There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.

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Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

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There are three sides to every argument: your side,my side and the right side.

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An expert is someone who takes a subject you understand and makes it sound confusing.

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When you’re right, no one remembers. When you’re wrong, no one forgets.

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Always remember that you are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else.

…….

They say hard work never killed anyone, but why take the chance.

1. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich.
“Marry me!” – That’s Direct Marketing… ”

2. You’re at a party with a bunch of friends and see a
gorgeous girl. One of your friends goes up to her and
pointing at you says: “He’s very rich.
“Marry him.” -That’s Advertising. ..”

3. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and get her telephone number. The next day, you
call and say: “Hi, I’m very rich.
“Marry me – That’s Telemarketing. ..”

4. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. You get up
and straighten your tie, you walk up to her and pour
her a drink, you open the door (of the car)”Marry Me?” –
That’s Public Relations… ”

5. You’re at a party and see gorgeous girl. She walks
up to you and says:”You are very rich!
“Can you marry ! me?” – That’s Brand Recognition. ..”

6. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” She gives you
a nice hard slap on your face. – “That’s Customer Feedback…”

7. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and say: “I am very rich. Marry me!” And she
introduces you to her husband. – “That’s demand and supply gap…”

8. You see a gorgeous girl at a party
. You go up to
her and before you say anything, another person come
and tell her: “I’m rich. Will you marry me?” and she
goes with him – “That’s competition eating into your market share…”

9. You see a gorgeous girl at a party. You go up to
her and before you say: “I’m rich, Marry me!” your
wife arrives. – “That’s restriction for entering new markets…”

Which liquid becomes solid on heating?

Think B4 u look 4 the ans

Dhosa maavu & idly maavu
u definitly hav 2 improve ur gk..

Nintey aaa chuvanna kannukal…
Choodulla Nishwasangal…..
Virayarnna shariram…
Thuduatha Chundukal….
Hoooo…..
Samshayamillla
Chickun Guniya thanneey!!!!

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.
———— ——— ——— —-
Why do couples hold hands during their wedding?
It’s a formality just like two boxers shaking hands before the fight begins!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.
———— – ——– ——— ——— ——— –
It is difficult to understand GOD. He makes such beautiful things as women
and then he turns them into Wives.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
If u r married please ignore this msg,
for everyone else: Happy Independence Day
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say.
After marriage, he’ll fall asleep before you finish.
——– —- ——— ——— ——— ——— –
There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking.
It’s called marriage.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Girlfriends r like chocolates,
taste good anytime.
Lovers r like PIZZAS, Hot n spicy, eaten frequently.
Husbands r like leftovers, eaten when there’s no choice.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Man receives telegram: Wife dead-should be buried or cremated?
Man: Don’t take any chances. Burn the body and bury the ash.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Q: Why dogs don’t marry?
A: Because they are already leading a dog’s life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
There was this guy who told his woman that he loved her so much that he would
go through hell for her. They got married and now he is going thru hell.
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Fact of life: One woman brings you into this world crying & the other ensures you
continue to do so for the rest of your life!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Q: Why doesn’t law permit a man to marry a second woman?
A: Because as per law you cannot be punished twice for the same offence!
———— ——— ——— ——— ——— –
Here comes the Ultimate One
Prospective husband: Do you have a book called ‘Man, The Master of Women’?
Salesgirl: The fiction department is on the other side, sir.

Every second god remembers you.
Every minute god blesses you.
Every hour god cares for you.
Bcoz every day i pray to him..

” Daivame Budhiyillathe kocha.. kaathollanee.. “

When things go wrong, as they sometimes will,
When the road you’re trudging seems all uphill,
When funds are low and the debts are high,
And you want to smile but you have to sigh,
When care is pressing you down a bit,
Rest if you must, but don’t you quit.

Life is queer with its twists and turns,
As every one of us sometimes learns,
And many a failure turns about,
When he might have won if he’d stuck it out.
Don’t give up, though the pace seems slow -
You may succeed with another blow.

Often the goal is nearer than
It seems to a faint and faltering man;
Often the struggler has given up
When he might have captured the victor’s cup,
And he learned too late, when the night slipped down,
How close he was to the golden crown.

Success is failure turned inside out -
The silver tint of the clouds of doubt,
And you never can tell how close you are -
It may be near when it seems afar;
So stick to the fight when you’re hardest hit -
It’s when things seem worst that you mustn’t quit.

An ANNOUNCEMENT :
Students who’ve Parcked
their vehicles in fron
of the gate, Please
move your vehicles
to the parking area.
After 30 mins.
Another ANNOUNCEMENT :
The 1200 + Students
who went to park the
10 Vehicles Please
Return to your classes
right now.

KAVIDHAI:
Yaar Unnai
lvvallavu Azhagaai
Padaiththadhu.? – Yen
Kaadhaliyai Poai….
Idhayaththil Mulludan
…. ROAJAAvey ….

Kaaranam illaamal
Kalaindhu Poaga idhu
KANAVUM illai,
Kaaranam Solli Pirindhu
ponga idhu KAADHALUM illai,
UYIR ullavarai thodarum
Unnamaiyyaana NATTPPU. .

Law of queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.

Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged tone.

Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.

Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.

Bath THEOREM: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.

LAW OF ENCOUNTERS: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.

LAW of the RESULT: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, it will!

LAW OF BIOMECHANICS: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

THEATRE RULE: People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.

LAW OF COFFEE: As soon as you sit down for a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

Shadows Of yesterday
Have faded away
Sun has reappeared
It’s a brand new day
Birds singing their song
Loud and clear
Announcing to the world
A new day is here

Sun appears in the east
Has begun a new quest
In the middle at noon
And then sets in the west
Wishing you contentment
And peace along the way
Good Morning to you
Have a nice day !

Forever love, I call to you
You are my heart, forever true
As I wait here in the park
I see lovers caress each others heart

Forever love, in my mind I hold you near
I know you are forever dear
Love this strong can never die
In my soul, I see you lie

Forever love, come what may
I look for you to walk the path
In the park, where all thing beautiful will last

I see the grass so green
The water in the little stream
How the birds fly into the sun
And a butterfly, in my lap
All this wonder, for us, will never pass

Forever love, I call your name
My voice is full of passion,
You could never change
I see you run into my arms
I rest my head on your dear chest
Forever love, I know you are real
Our life begins, there is only you…

Japanese boy wants
to Marry a TamilNadu Girl
but TN Girl’s parents
Didn’t Accept this
Marriage because the
Name of the Japan boy
is
‘Kunju-Nikkumo-Nikkaadho.’