Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

This morning when I wakened
And saw the sun above,
I softly said, “Good morning,
Allah Bless everyone I love.”

Right away I thought of you
And said a loving prayer,
That Allah would bless you specially,
And keep you free from care.

I thought of all the happiness
A day could hold in store,
I wished it all for you because
No one deserves it more.

First law:

A boy in love with a girl continues to be in love with her and a girl in love with a boy continues to be in love with him, until and unless any external agent(brother or father of the girl) comes into play and breaks the legs of the boy.

Second law:

The rate of change of intensity of love of a girl towards a boy is directly proportional to his bank balance.

Third law:

The force applied while proposing a girl by a boy is equal and opposite to the force applied by the girl while using her sandals.

Universal law:

Love can neither be created nor be destroyed, it can only be transfered from one girlfriend to another girlfriend.

Kissing a woman at her FOREHEAD is Respect

At her LIPS is Love
CHEEKis Heroism
NECK is Lust

BUT KISSING HER IN FRONT OF HER HUSBAND IS BRAVERY.

~~~~~~~~~

Woman: If you were my husband I’d poison your coffee.

Man: And if you were my wife, I’d drink it.

~~~~~~~~~

A sardar learning English introduces his family in the party:

Hi! I am sardar,
This is my sardarni,
He is my kid,
& she is my kidney.

~~~~~~~~~

English Teacher: Make a sentence using “Neither-Nor”

Naughty boy Student: When girls wear tight fitting dresses,

“NEiTHER” are they comfortable, “NOR” are we!

When you are gone
I feel so alone
I miss you dear
when you are not here

You make my day
Like when the sun shines in May
I need to see your smile
and I wish I could see it more then just once in a while

You are such delight
and add joy to my nights
I want you to know what you mean to me
and oh.. I hope that you can see

My heart is missing you
and I wonder… do you miss me to?
I hope that you do
because I know I miss you!!

I always hope you are ok, and nothing is wrong
When will I see you again.. oh I hope it won’t be long!
I need to know that you care
and that no matter what you will always be there

Remember this is for you, my friend
and to you I will send
So keep it close to you heart
and if you do, we will never part.

My heart is missing you!!

I Miss You…

Good morning my friend
It’s a new day
I hope things get better
For this I did pray

May all of your problems
Be out on their way
On this bright morning
That starts this new day

Happiness is like a butterfly…

The more you chase it, the more it will elude you…
But if you turn your attention to other things…
It comes and softly sits on your shoulder…

Don’t seek happiness… Happiness will find you!!!

Hi Everybody
check this joke!

Yamraj: your time is over
Girl: is there any way to escape from it?
Yamraj: yeah! if you can kiss the one who is reading this message!
Girl: chhee..aack- thu.
better I prefer to die!

Thanks
good night

My love is like an ocean
It goes down so deep
My love is like a rose
Whose beauty you want to keep.

My love is like a river
That will never end
My love is like a dove
With a beautiful message to send.

My love is like a song
That goes on and on forever
My love is like a prisoner
It’s to you that I surrender.

Facts about Tamil Superstar Rajanikanth
Rajanikanth makes onions cry

Rajanikanth can delete the Recycle Bin.

Ghosts are actually caused by Rajanikanth killing people faster than Death can process them.

Rajanikanth can build a snowman….. out of rain.

Rajanikanth can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Rajanikanth can drown a fish.

When Rajanikanth enters a room, he doesn’t turn the lights on,……… … he turns the dark off.

When Rajanikanth looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Rajanikanth and Rajanikanth.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Rajanikanth can throw Brett Favre even further.

The last digit of pi is Rajanikanth. He is the end of all things.

Rajanikanth does not know where you live, but he knows where you will die.

Bullets dodge Rajanikanth.

A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Rajanikanth and that you will be handicapped if you park there.

Rajanikanth’ calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd, no one fools Rajanikanth.

If you spell Rajanikanth wrong on Google it doesn’t say, “Did you mean Rajanikanth? ” It simply replies, “Run while you still have the chance.”

Rajanikanth can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

Once a cobra bit Rajanikanth’ leg. After five days of excruciating pain, the cobra died.

When Rajanikanth gives you the finger, he’s telling you how many seconds you have left to live.

Rajanikanth can kill two stones with one bird.

Rajanikanth was once on Celebrity Wheel of Fortune and was the first to spin. The next 29 minutes of the show consisted of everyone standing around awkwardly, waiting for the wheel to stop.

Leading hand sanitizers claim they can kill 99.9 percent of germs. Rajanikanth can kill 100 percent of whatever he wants.

There is no such thing as global warming. Rajanikanth was cold, so he turned the sun up.

Rajanikanth can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass. At night.

Rajanikanth has a deep and abiding respect for human life… unless it gets in his way.

It takes Rajanikanth 20 minutes to watch 60 Minutes.

Rajanikanth once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”

In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Rajanikanth could use to kill you, including the room itself.

Behind every successful man, there is a woman. Behind every dead man, there is Rajanikanth.

Rajanikanth destroyed the periodic table, because Rajanikanth only recognizes the element of surprise.

Rajanikanth got his drivers license at the age of 16 Seconds.

With the rising cost of gasoline, Rajanikanth is beginning to worry about his drinking habit.

The square root of Rajanikanth is pain. Do not try to square Rajanikanth, the result is death.

When you say “no one’s perfect”, Rajanikanth takes this as a personal insult.

Life is constantly changing,
and sometimes it brings sorrow
that’s difficult to bear.
During such times,
we must hang on to our hope
and take comfort in knowing
that our family and friends
care about us.
We must let their love soothe us
and see us through.
And I want you to know that
though I can’t fix
all of your troubles,
that I’ll be there for you
through all the seasons of life.
That’s one constant
you can always count on.

You Focused on my strengths, always
accepting me for who I am, and
respecting the choices I’ve made.

You Reached deep inside my heart
and replaced the rain and darkness
with the sunshine of a warm smile.

You Inspired me, reminding me of the
beauty of the sunset and making me
see beyond my own narrow world.

You Encouraged me to follow my dreams
and even when the road was rough,
you always cheered me along the way.

You Never gave up on me–not for a
single second–even when I was more
than ready to give up on myself.

You Devoted your time to me and
remained a constant in my life
even when the world was changing.

For these reasons,
and many more,
I call you “friend.”
And though I can’t
possibly say this
strongly enough:
Thank you, friend!

We’ve been together
since we were little more
than children.
We’ve had our foundations to lay
and roofs to mend.
In between babies
and careers,
we drifted apart
and questioned our choices.
But we stuck together.
And when the walls swayed
from an unexpected wind,
we secured them back in place,
bonded by some indefinable thing
that was much greater
than the storms around
and within us.
We even thought about
distant places
and dreamed about
other faces,
but the dawn always came
and shook us
from nighttime fantasies,
and the house we built
together survived.
And eventually the years
came full circle in our hearts,
bringing us closer
and making us more content
than we ever thought possible.
We’ve become two birds
on one branch,
side by side,
and perfectly content
in each other’s warmth,
mated for life.

How can I write
a poem about my love for you?
Words can’t begin
to convey the way my heart
goes into overdrive
when I think of you.
What phrases can replace
the light that glows within
when I imagine us together?
I could write you
a love song,
but no music can
express the depth
of what I feel for you.
No song can stir me
the way the sound
of your voice does.
You’re the notes
rising above life’s din,
crossing rivers
and climbing
over mountains
to reach my heart.

In a single day,
we can lose everything.
All that we think
is most important
to us
can be gone
in a flash–
our home,
our job,
our belongings,
our health,
and even our
loved ones.

But there’s one thing
that we can count on
through the
worst of times,
even when we think
all is lost,
and that’s His love.

His love is the only
constant in life,
and through Him,
we can draw enough
strength to not only survive
the very worst of times,
but to reclaim
hope and happiness
tomorrow.

When I look into your eyes,
I can see my life
and my greatest dreams;
I see strength
and comfort;
I see the tears
I’ve shed and your
healing light that
spilled upon them;
I see endless joy
and undying faith;
I see the rays of
inspiration shine
through the clouds,
the flames of passion
warm the night;
I see home
and all of the heart’s
purest emotions.
When I look into your eyes,
I can see my life,
and I feel loved and blessed.
Thank you for sharing
your life with me.