Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

* Aik admi apni biwi ko dafna kay ghar ja raha tha kay achanak bijli chamki,
badal garje, jor se baarish shuru hui dukhi aadmi bola: Lagta hai pahunch gai

* Bhikhari: Saab 1 rupaya de do. Saheb: Kal aana. Bhikhari: Saala is kal-kal ke chakkar mein is colony mein mere lakhon rupaye fase huye hain.

* Patni: Suno ji, Aapko Mujme Sabse Jayada kaya Acha Lagta hai, Meri Beauty ya Meri Akalmandi?
Pati: Muje to yeh teri Majak karne ki Aadat Sabse achhi lagti hai

* “ Munnabhai: Ae circuit yeh kutte poonch kyun hilate hain? Bole to Dog tail shaking WHY?

Circuit: Common sense hai bhai ab poonch kutte ko to nahi hila sakti hai na. ”

* Munnabhai: Are Ek bakara Talaab me Gir gaya hai aab wo sala kaise bahar aayegaa ?????

Cirkit: Bhai Geela Hoker, Tension nahi Lene kaa …!!!!!!

Woh classes
Woh objects
Koi na jaane
The kaise applets
Oh oh oh
Interface
Woh abstract classes
Woh abstract classes….. .
Woh classes….. …..

Na main jaanu
Na TU jaane
Oh….
Kaise the instances
Koi na jaane
Kahaan se yeh swing aayeee
AWT bhi sang laayi

Khaffa ho gaye hum
Barbaad ho gaye hum…….

Woh classes…..

Data ke abstaraction se ..
Server hil gaya,
Multithreading ke application se..
Exception AA gaya…..

Kahaan se J2EE aayee
JSP bhi sang laayee
Khaffa ho gaye hum
Barbaad ho gaye hum……..

Woh classes….. ……… ..

1) Ishq kar deta hai bekrar,bhar deta hai pathar k dil mein pyaar,har 1
ko nahi milti zindagi ki ye bahar, kyunki ishq ka dusra naam hai
intezar….. ….

2) Mosam shabab ka,
Nasha sharab ka,
Parda janab ka or rang gulab ka,
in sabme haseen , in sabme Lajawab dekho SMS padne wala “Chehara Janab ka.”

3) Baithe-Baithe jindgi barbad na kijiye. Jindgi milti hai kuchh kar
dikhane k liye. Roke agar aasman hamare raste ko. To taiyar ho jao aasman
jhukane k liye.

4) Aapki yad na aaye to hum bewafa, Aap bulao aur na aaye to hum bewafa,
Hume maarne k liye khanjar ki zarurat nahi,1bar nazar fer lo, na mar jaye
to hum bewafa.

5) Shaam bhi udas hogi raat bhi udas hogi,Kafan me lipti meri laash hogi…
Ae dafna ke janewalon unse keh do,Qabar me bhi unki tasvir mere saath
hogi….

6) Zindagi se sabhi ko mohabbat hai,par zindagi kisiki mehboob nahi
banti,tamanna leker jeete hain sab log,magar har tamanna TAQDIR nahi
banti… Good morning

7) Rangat teri zulfo ki ghatao ne churai
Khusboo tere anchal se hawao ne udai
Paimane ka dil na tut jaye to kahu main
Hai cheez gazab ki jo nigaho ne pilai

Na rahi aaj wo apni kahani, Na wo hasin din na wo raatein suhani, Phir
bhi hume aziz hai unki har nishaani, Chahe dil ka wo dard ho ya aankho ka
paani…

9) Kisike dil me basna bura to nahi,kisiko dil me basana khata to
nahi,gunah hai ye zamane ki nazar me to kya hua,zamaane wale bhi insaan
hain khuda to nahi.

10) Patti, patti Gulab ban jati
Har kali mehare khwab ban jati
aapne dali na kuch aisi mehkdana najre
warna
subhaki os bhi sharabh ban jati

In the beginning
It was great
You opened my eyes
And showed me fate.

You were there for me
When times got tough
Made me believe
You were more than enough.

I pictured us having
A future together
The look in your eyes
Made me believe we’d be forever.

You lead me through
A different door
Showed me I
Was worth much more.

Thought you earned
The key to my heart
Never would have thought
You’d rip it apart.

You told me you loved me
And that you care
When I needed you the most
You weren’t even there.

I know I’ve made
Mistakes that were bad
But I never gave up on
What we once had.

Now I wish I had
Someone to hug and hold
To keep me warm
When I get cold.

I need someone who’d
Make me smile
One that wouldn’t
Hesitate to go the extra mile.

I want him to tell me
That everything’s all right
To stay with me
Through the day and night.

I need you to tell me
What I should say or do
Because I don’t want to go
Through life without you.

I wish that you could feel
My arms about you tight,
Holding you up close
All thru out the night.

To know that I am there
And never away far,
That I will remain
Where ever that you are.
Image
That you could press back
Into my warm embrace,
And feel my soft touch
Warm against your face.
Or you could shift your hips
And press against me tight,
To feel my body’s heat
And my lips kissing you light.
Image
I wish that you could hear
My softly whispered song,
To lull you into sleep
For it’s here that we belong.
That you could hear me say
All you need to hear,
As I tell you of my love
Whispered soft against your ear.
Image
And you could feel my breath
Warm against your skin,
As I let my presence beg you
To let this true love in.
I wish that I could hold you
And whisper long into your night,
Never would you wonder then
As I held you to me tight…

Love is forever between
two hearts that share it…
As eternal as the tide
that breaks upon the shore.

Sometimes I can hardly believe
I’ve found someone like you–
Someone who’s caring, sensitive,
And fun to be with, too.
Sometimes when I look at you

I think of what we’ve shared,
And treasure all the memories
of special ways you’ve cared…
And sometimes when I think of
All the joy we’ll find together,
I know how happy I will be
Just loving you forever.

1.Three ways to die….
Take a ciger daily–you will die 10 years early
Drink Rum daily– you will die 30 years early
Love someone truly–you will die daily

2.A foolish MAN tells a woman to STOP talking,But a wise man tells her that
she looks extremely BEAUTIFUL when her LIPS are CLOSED.

3.One good way to REDUCE alcohol consumption. ….
Before marriage–Drink whenever you are SAD
After marriage –Drink whenever you are HAPPY

4.Fastest means of transport… …
1.Tele-Phone
2.Tele-Vision
3.Tell to woman
Need still FASTER–Tell her NOT to tell anybody

5.Love your friends NOT their sisters,Love your sisters NOT their friends.

6.A man got 2 wishes from god. He asked for the BEST wine and BEST woman.
Next moment, he had the BEST wine and MOTHER THERESA next to him.
MORAL:Be Specific

7.If you doNOT have a girl friend–you are missing SOME thing in your life.
If you HAVE a girl firend–ypu are missing EVERY thing in your life.

8.When do you CONGRATULATE someone for their MISTAKE??
Ans: On Their MARRIAGE

9.Why government doNOT allow man to marry 2 woman?
Bcoz, as per constitution, tou canNOT Be Punished TWICE for the same mistake…!

Falling in love with you,
No turning back,
Finally I feel
Like my life is on track.

Your love affects me
Like nothing I’ve seen,
Nothing will part us,
Let nothing between.

With you everything
Just falls into place,
Being with you,
I love to feel your embrace.

With you all time stops,
No cares on this earth,
I can never tell you enough
How much you are worth.

I feel your heart beat
With each breath that you take,
Each time you touch me,
My knees start to quake.

The light of the moon
And the stars can’t compare
To my love for you,
To you only I’ll share.

I think about you
Day in and day out,
I finally know now
What love is all about.

The moments I’m with you
I can not explain,
These feelings for you
I can not contain.

Please tell me you’ll love me
Til the end of your days,
I want you to know
You set my heart ablaze.

You are the air that I breathe
And without you I’d die,
To be with you for always
Is on what I rely.

My heart wants to explode
From these feelings brand new,
It’s covered in love
Like the fresh morning dew.

It’s filled with desire
To love you forever,
It’s want is to hold you,
And let go, I’ll never!

I’ll never stop loving you,
I’ll never forsake,
Even the thought
Makes my soul start to ache.

I’ll be here for you
Until all time will end,
My lover, my soul mate,
My very best friend.

Udaasiyon Ka Sabab Jo Likhna

Udaasiyon Ka Sabab Jo Likhna
To Ye Bhi Likhna
Ke Chand Taare Sub Badal Gaye Hain
Wo Zinda Lamhe Jo Teri Raahon Main
Tere Aane Ke Muntazir Thay
Wo Thak Ke Saayon Main Dhal Gaye Hain
Wo Teri Yaadein Khayal Tere Ranj Tere ILzaam Tere
Wo Teri Aankhein Sawaal Tere
Wo Tum Se Mere Tumaam Rishte Bichar Gaye Hain
Udaasiyon Ka Sabab Jo Likhna
To Ye Bhi Likhna
In Honton Pe Na Mukkamal Hone Waali Duaon Ke Suraj
Pighal Gaye Hain
Ab Tumaam Sapne Hi Jal Gaye Hain

Bengali patient: Doctor sahab, potla-potla totti aata hai, khane ko man nahin karta hai.
Doctor: Yeh lo dawai, mota-mota totti aayega, jaise marzi kaat ke khana

Na jena na suna kokhono,Diyo nako mon.
Valo kore aage take jane nao,Sa kamon doron.
Aabeg ta komia aalap ta jomia aage jena nao tar vator goron..Pore dio Mon!

Oru vasantha kalam,
bhoomiyil niraye pookal parimalam parathunnu.
padathu kunji kilikal virunnu vannu
aa pular kalathu nee ente veetilekku vannu .
.appol njan ente vathil ninakkai turannu.
ninte kaikal ente nere neendu vannu..
..AMMA VALLATUM TARANEE

Lokathile ettavum valiya heart surgon neeyanu.. karanam oru murivu polumillathe, orittu rakham polum
cheethathe nee enthe hrydyathil kayariyunnalloo…..

Thala! Thala! Kattadura namma poochipandiku message anappikite irukkan.
Kattaduraiku kattam sarilla namaku message anapparathe avanuku polapa pochi Eduda cella anappuda gud
morni, gud after, gud night messagea
Thala namma cellula balance illa ok next meet panren.

Love Sms korlam send Priyar numberate,
Sms porlo giya mayer babar hate.
Kopal kharap hole buji koto kichu e hoy
Priyar baba Mobile a dakhai sudu voy.
Ak Sms ae lega galo Jilapir pach,
Taito akhon korina ar Mobile Sms

Tumi akhon bondo…amar khub Dear,
Amakeo rakho tumar… ridoyer Near,
God chara kaoka tumi…karona Fear,
Dekhba kovo jibona tumar…asbena Tear

Kalam mayikkatha murivundo?
Kulichal pokatha azukkundo?
Chirichal kanatha pallundo?
Marakkan pattatha thettudo?
Paranjal theeratha prashnagal undo?
Ithellam vayichondirikkan ninekkentha vattundo??

u+ur dog=chakkikotha changaran
u+urlover=enampechikku marappatty koottu
u+ur mobile=kurangintey kayil poomala
u+ur house=papi chennayidam pathalam

Budhiyilla,bodhamilla,soundaryamilla,
Nanamilla,alakkilla,kulikkilla,pallu theykilla,Ennalum i like U…Y?
Dats the magic of our relation.

Nintey aaa chuvanna kannukal…
Choodulla Nishwasangal…..
Virayarnna shariram…
Thuduatha Chundukal….
Hoooo…..
Samshayamillla
Chickun Guniya thanneey!!!!!!

Onnu kanaan kothiyakunnundo… Wait.. “1″ Kando?? Santhoshamayo??? Nale ‘Randu” kanikkam…

Wanna see magic???????
scroll 25 times to unveal the secrets of magic!!!
POTHU POLE VALARANU!!!! IPPOZHUM MAGIC KAANAN IRIKKUVA MANDOOS!!!

Enter Password 2 touch my heart !
*
**
***
****
wrong Code !
U Have touched my legs
Anyway … Take my blessings…
!!! NEE YONNUM NANNAVOOLADA!!!

Whn u kiss a british girl she says “kiss me softly” whn u kiss a american girl shw says “kiss me hardly” and whn u kiss a malayali girl she says “day..arodum paraylle ente ponne”..

wanna see the marvallous tourist spot in kerala “munnnar” .. .. .. … .. .. .. 666 ENNI NOKKIKKE COREECT ALLE NNU ..

Sonia was plan’g 2 come 2 kerala with ManMhn. However MMhn cancel’d the trip.AKAntony was send a telegram.NEWS in Malayala Manorama nxt day “Sonia thanichu verunnu,Antonikku KAMBI

Karunakaran and Soopi at Guruvayoor. Kar’n said,”Makal Padmaja.Moolathil oru pal payasam. Hear’g this Soopi said,”Makal Khadeeja.Kundiyil oru Koyibiriyani.

wife-innnum nerathe poyallo enthu patty hus-enthanannariyilla eeyideyayi inganeyanu wife-ini varumo hus-namukku nokkam wife- wannallo hus- thanks to K S E B

nee illathe enikku onnumilla innnu njan thanneyanuuuuuuuuu nee evide ondayirunnenkil ninne oru sidilekku kondupoyi njan ninakku oru um .oru umm .oru umma .oru umman chandi ude nikkar kazhukan taramayirunnu…

MAKAYA, HAKAYA, RUMBHA, ZUMBHATIMBAK, TUMBA, JINGALA JINGA, RAGIRA, VAGIRA, HELULU, HETATA, NARAKA, HIBAHA. Congratulations!! u r perfect AADHIVASI….

>> >> >>> >>kannadachal neeyanu……….. Kannuthurannal neeyanu………. Kannin munnil neeyanu……… Evide nokkiyalum neeyanu…….. … ..”Pandaram E KOTHUKU”

1 letter illa, 1 phone illa, 1 missed call illa, 1 sms koodi illa , enikku pedi avunnu ninakku chicken gunia pidicho avoo?..

Rajadi rajan, villali veeran, kidilol kidilan, parama sundaran, sarvaguna sampannan, athi dayaalu, idivettu taram, maha balavan, kerala, tamilnadu, banglure college kumarimarude swapna kamukan”.(your name )” avarkal ihta urakkam unarnne…dum dum..dum..dum

Aval oru moolippattu paady,Njan kaathorthirunnu…
Aval onnu kadichu,Njan pulanju poyi..
Aval valichu kudichu,Njan annangade
kidannu…
Aval kuninju,Njan purakiloode adichu…”how”
Aval pulanju,’Chey’ Ente dehathellam
aayi…

‘HAAVOO”

‘KOTHUK” chathu.

Aakash kande,Batas kande,kande amar MON,
Tomar sobi buke nia katai SARAKKHON!
Toru kande,Lota kande,kande boner PAKHI,
Tomi amay SMS koro na,bolo tar dukkho kothay RAKHI!!! Bye.

Shajahan mumtassinte ormakkayi tajmahal ketti…
mandan! Njanariyunnengil mumthasinte
ormakkayi avalude aniyathiye kettiyene!

I love u da! Ninne
Kanathe jevikan
vayya!Ninte aduthe
ephozhum samsarikan
thonnunu…! Ninne enike
nashta pedumoda…!
I Love U…Miss U..da,
1000 UMMA…da
Inganeyane Daily
‘SANIYA MIRZA’msg
ayakunathe ! Entha
cheyka.Sowndaryam
undayal etha
kuzhapam. Ninaku
pinne aa Preshnam
ellalo….

5 MAHANMARARAYA ALUKAL..1. MAHATHMA GHANDI..PULLI MARICHU POYI..2,SADDAM HUSSAIN, IPPO PATTU PAISAKKU KOLLILLA, 3, AISHWARIA RAI..NAMMADE RANGE ILL KITTILLA..PINNE NJANUM ..NEEYUM….SO KEEP IN TOUCH

Kalam mayikkatha murivundo?
Kulichal pokatha azukkundo?
Chirichal kanatha pallundo?
Marakkan pattatha thettudo?
Paranjal theeratha prashnagal undo?
Ithellam vayichondirikkan ninekkentha vattundo??

Ente Rum ile Sodayanu Nee Nalla Veesukara,
Peggozhichu Njaan Kaathu Vechoruren
Chillu Glassiloorum Lickeronnu vende……
Liquoronnu vende..nalla veeshukaara..ente kootukaraa..
Thottu koottuvanulla picklum..
chipsum ennapole
Thottaduthu njan ninnuvenkilum veeshukilla mone..

Alleppy passenger time 7.30
Kottayam passenger 7.45
Kollam Passenger 18.25
Jan shatabdii 17.40
Rajadhani Exp 1.35
Kerala Exp 15.45
Venad 17.15
Kurla Exp 14.10
Kannur exp, malabar exp, bokkaaro, maveli……
train etra ennam undennariyamo….?
Onnu thala vechu kooode…?????????

Faithful
A friend is always faithful to you, even during the bad times.

Reliable
A friend is reliable..you can count on them to always be there.

In touch
A friend stays in touch, even though it may not be as often as you’d like!

Enduring
A true friendship is enduring, lasting even when friends lose touch for a while.

Needed
A friend is always there for you when you need someone to hug.

Devoted
A friend is devoted to your friendship and will never do anything to destroy it.

Dear Wife,

I’m writing you this letter to tell you that I’m leaving you for good. I’ve been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show for it. These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.

Last week, you came home and didn’t even notice that I had gotten a new hair cut, cooked your favorite meal, and even wore a brand new pair of silk boxers later that night.

You came home, nibbled at your food for two minutes, and went straight to sleep after watching all of your soaps. You don’t tell me you love me anymore, you don’t want sex anymore or anything. Either you’re cheating on me or you don’t love me. Whichever is the case,,,,I’m gone.

Signed,

Your EX-Husband

P.S. Don’t try to find me. Your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together. Have a great life!
————

Dear Ex-Husband,

Nothing has made my day more enjoyable than receiving your letter. It’s true that you and I have been married for seven years, although a ‘good man’ is a far cry from what you’ve been. I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining and griping. It’s just too bad it doesn’t work.

Yes, I did notice when you got a hair cut last week,,,and actually the first thing that came to my mind was “You look just like a girl”,,, but my mother raised me not to say anything at all if you can’t say anything nice. And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused with my SISTER, because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.

I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was just a coincidence that my sister had just borrowed fifty dollars from me that morning and your silk boxers were $49.99…

After all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it out. So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for twenty million dollars, I quit my job and bought us two tickets to Hawaii. But when I got home you were gone. Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling life you’ve always wanted.

My lawyer said with the letter that you wrote, you won’t get a dime from me. So take care.

Signed: Rich As Hell and Freeeeeeeeeeee!

P.S. I don’t know if I ever told you this but my sister ‘Carla’,,,was born Carl. I hope that’s not a problem for you.