Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

Memories of moments celebrated together…….
Moments that have been attached in my heart, forever…….
Make me Miss You even more this Diwali.

Hope this Diwali brings in Good Fortune & Abounding Happiness for you!
HAPPY DIWALI

This Diwali, may you be blessed with good fortune as long as Ganeshji’s trunk, wealth and prosperity as big as his stomach, happiness as sweet as his ladoos and may your trouble be as small as his mouse.
Happy Diwali

This diwali tumko mile
Rathore ki Aim
Film stars ka Fame
Game show ka Jackpot
Hit film mein ek spot
Jadoo ki chhari
lots of crackers aur phuljhari
sab ka dher saara pyar aur dosti
and lots n lots of fun n masti
Wishing u a very HAPPY DIWALI!

On Diwali, I wanted to send you wishes for a year filled with prosperity, health and lots of fun! Hope you have a happy Diwali!

This Diwali, may you be blessed with good fortune as long as Ganeshji’s trunk, wealth and prosperity as big as his stomach, happiness as sweet as his ladoos and may your trouble be as small as his mouse. Happy Diwali!

May you be blessed with happiness and well being to last through the year. Happy Diwali!

A warm Diwali wish for every happiness. May the warmth and splendor, that are a part of this auspicious occasion, fill your life with happiness and bright cheer, and bring to you joy and prosperity, for the whole year.

May the festival of lights be the harbinger of joy and prosperity. As the holy occasion of Diwali is here and the atmosphere is filled with the spirit of mirth and love, here’s hoping this festival of beauty brings your way, bright sparkles of contentment, that stay with you through the days ahead. Best wishes on Diwali and New year.

On Diwali, wishes for every joy and prosperity. Here’s hoping, that the beauty of this festival of lights, bring a world of joy, happiness and contentment to you, to last the whole year through. Happy Diwali.

As your celebrate this holy occasion, the most loving thoughts and wishes are for you… May the beauty of Diwali fill your world and your heart and may the love that is always yours, bring you endless joy. Have A Wonderful Diwali And New Year!

Have a prosperous Diwali. Hope this festival of lights, brings you every joy and happiness. May the lamps of joy, illuminate your life and fill your days with the bright sparkles of peace, mirth and goodwill, because you are someone who deserves life’s best and so much more. Have a joyous Diwali and new year.

As you celebrate this holy occasion, you are wished the brightest moments that Diwali can bring, lots of love and laughter to fill your days with cheer and a New year that is sure to bring you, the best of everything.

There’s always something warm and bright, about this time of the year, when everything has a special glow, and hearts are full of cheer, that’s why, this special greeting comes your way, to wish you all life’s best, on Diwali and in the coming year, too.

May the warmth and splendor, that are a part of this auspicious occasion, fill your life with happiness and bright cheer, and bring to you joy and prosperity, for the whole year.

And last one from me A very Happy Diwali to all my blog Readers and all the indians Living in india and all Over the world…………

Anger is a condition in which the tongue works faster than the mind .

You can’t change the past,
But you can ruin the present by worrying over the future!

Love…and you shall be loved.
God always gives His best to those
Who leave the choice with Him.

All people smile in the same language.

Everyone needs to be loved…
Especially when they do not deserve it.

The real measure of a man’s wealth
Is what he has invested in eternity.

Laughter is God’s sunshine.

Everyone has beauty
But not everyone sees it.

It’s important for parents to live
The same things they teach.

Thank God for what you have,
TRUST GOD for what you need.

If you fill your heart with regrets of yesterday
And the worries of tomorrow,
You have no today to be thankful for.

Man looks at outward appearance
But the God looks within.

The choice you make today
Will usually affect tomorrow.

Take time to laugh, for it is
The music of the soul.

Patience is the ability to idle your motor
When you feel like stripping your gears.

Love is strengthened by working
Through conflicts together.

Harsh words break no bones
But they do break hearts.
To get out of a difficulty,
One usually must go through it.
We take for granted the things that
We should be giving thanks for.

Love is the only thing that can be
Divided without being diminished.

Happiness is enhanced by others
But does not depend upon others.

For every minute you are angry with someone,
You lose 60 seconds of happiness that you can never get back.

Do what you can, for who you can,
With what you have,
And where you are.

WHAT I HAVE LEARNED….. .

The best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.

When you’re in love, it shows.

Just one person saying to me, “You’ve made my day!” makes my day.

Having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.

Being kind is more important than being right.

You should never say “no” to a gift from a child.

I can always pray for someone when I don’t have the strength to help him in some other way.

No matter how serious your life requires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.

Sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.

Simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.

Life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.

We should be glad God doesn’t give us everything we ask for.

Money doesn’t buy class.

Under everyone’s hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.

The Lord didn’t do it all in one day. What makes me think I can?

Ignore the facts does not change the facts.

When you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.

Love, not time, heals all wounds.

The easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.

Everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.

There’s nothing sweeter than sleeping with your babies and feeling their breath on your cheeks.

No one is perfect until you fall in love with them.

Life is tough, but I’m tougher.

Opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.

When you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.

I wish I could have told my Dad that I love him one more time before he passed away.

One should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.

A smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.

I can’t choose how I feel, but I can choose what I do about it.

When your newly born child holds your little finger in his little fist, that you’re hooked for life.

Everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you’re climbing it.

It is best to give advice in only two circumstances; when it is requested and when it is a life threatening situation.

You cannot change the world,

But you can present the world with one improved person – Yourself.

When I am: Kareeb

There is only: Khamoshi

I want to speak: Dil Se

That’s my kind of: Ishq

I want this to be: Gupt

As I always have: Darr

That I will loose you: Sajani

And that would be great: Sadma

I am your: Mr.Aashique

But sometimes bit: Deewana

Tell me: Hum Aapke Hain Kaun

As I feel : Kuch Kuch Hota Hai

In this : Duniya Dilwalon Ki

I told you: Maine Pyar Kiya

May be : Dil To Pagal Hai

Because: Jab Pyar Kisise Hota Hai

The whole world appears as: Dushman

But anyway: Pyar To Hona Hi Tha

Sardarji is in Delhi. He is walking on a street which has a Clock Tower when someone asks him if he wants to buy the clock on the Tower.

Sardarji says “Yes”.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder .”

The man took the thousand and disappeared. Having waited for several hours the Sardarji figured he was taken for a ride.

On the next day the Sardarji is again walking along the same street and the same man asks him to buy the clock.

“Give me a thousand rupees and I’ll go get a ladder.”

The Sardarji gives him the thousand and says “I am not a fool. This time, you wait and I’ll go get a ladder “.

Hasne nahi deta kabhi rone nahi deta
Ye dil to koi kaam bhi hone nahi deta

Tum maang rahe ho mere dil se meri khwaish
Bachcha to kabhi apne khilone nahi deta

Main aap uthata hun shab-o-roz ki zillat
Ye bojh mera dil kisi ko dhone nahi deta

Wo aajkaha hai isse to mai wakif bhi nahi hun
Jo mujhko kisi or ka hone nahi deta….

Today’s Professional Management FUNDAS

1.”We will do it” means “You will do it”

2.”You have done a great job” means “More work to be given to you”

3.”We are working on it” means “We have not yet started working on the same”

4.”Tomorrow first thing in the morning” means “Its not getting done “At least not tomorrow!”

5.”After discussion we will decide-I am very open to views” means “I have already decided , I will tell you what to do”

6.”There was a slight miscommunication” means “We had actually lied”

7.”Lets call a meeting and discuss” means “I have no time now, will talk later”

8.”We can always do it” means “We actually cannot do the same on time”

9.”We are on the right track but there needs to be a slight extension of the deadline” means “The project is screwed up, we cannot deliver on time.”

10.”We had slight differences of opinion “means “We had actually fought”

11.”Make a list of the work that you do and let’s see how I can help you” means “Anyway you have to find a way out no help from me”

12.”You should have told me earlier” means “Well even if you told me earlier that would have made hardly any difference!”

13.”We need to find out the real reason” means ” Well I will tell you where your fault is”

14.”Well Family is important; your leave is always granted. Just ensure that the work is not affected,” means, “Well you know…”

15.”We are a team,” means, “I am not the only one to be blamed”

16.”That’s actually a good question” means “I do not know anything about it”

17.”All the Best” means “You are in trouble ”

Of all the friends I’ve ever met,
You’re the one I won’t forget.
And if I die
Before you do

I’ll go to heaven
And wait for you

I’ll give the angels
Back their wings

And risk the loss Of everything
Just to prove

My friendship is true
I’m thankful to have
Family and Friends like you!

PLEASE SEND THIS TO ALL YOUR FAMILY & FRIENDS

ANDALSO SEND IT
BACK TO THE PERSON WHO SENT IT TO YOU…

IF YOU GET IT BACK…
THAT PERSON IS YOUR TRUE FRIEND!!

SO PLEASE SEND IT TO THIS MANY

OF YOUR FAMILY AND YOUR FRIENDS!!

Santa Singh decided to start a chicken farm so he bought a hundred chickens to begin.
A month later he returned to the dealer for another hundred chickens because all of the first lot had died. A month later he was back at the dealer for another hundred chickens for the second lot had also died.

“Where are you going wrong,” said dealer.

“I think I know where I’m going wrong,” said Santa, “I think I’m planting them too deep.”

Hello and They say it takes a minute to find a CRAZY person,
an hour to appreciate them,
a day to love them,
but then an entire life to forget them.
Send this phrase to the people you’ll never forget
and remember to send it also to the person
who sent it to you.
It’s a short message to let them know
that they’re not forgotten.
If you don’t send it to anyone,
it means you’re in a hurry
and that you’ve forgotten your friends.
Take the time to live!!!
Distance and time may separate us
but friendship and memories won’t.
Just thinking of you today.

Insist upon always doing things the loving way, rather than the hurtful way.

Ten Guidelines From God

Effective Immediately,
please be aware that there are changes YOU need
to make in YOUR life. These changes need to be
completed in order that I may fulfill My promises
to you to grant you peace, joy and happiness in
this life. I apologize for any inconvenience,
but after all that I am doing, this seems very
little to ask of you. Please, follow
these 10 guidelines

1. QUIT WORRYING:
Life has dealt you a blow and all you do is sit
and worry. Have you forgotten that I am here
to take all your burdens and carry them for you?
Or do you just enjoy fretting over every little
thing that comes your way?

2. PUT IT ON THE LIST:
Something needs done or taken care of. Put it
on the list. No, not YOUR list. Put it on MY
to-do-list. Let ME be the one to take care
of the problem. I can’t help you until you turn
it over to Me. And although My to-do-list
is long, I am after all… God. I can take care
of anything you put into My hands. In fact,
if the truth were ever really known, I take
care of a lot of things for you that you never
even realize.

3. TRUST ME:
Once you’ve given your burdens to Me,
quit trying to take them back. Trust in
Me. Have the faith that I will take care of
all your needs, your problems and your trials.
Problems with the kids? Put them on My list.
Problem with finances? Put it on My list.
Problems with your emotional roller coaster?
For My sake, put it on My list. I want to
help you. All you have to do is ask.

4. LEAVE IT ALONE:
Don’t wake up one morning and say,
“Well, I’m feeling much stronger now, I think
I can handle it from here.” Why do you think
you are feeling stronger now? It’s simple.
You gave Me your burdens and I’m taking
care of them. I also renew your strength
and cover you in my peace. Don’t you
know that if I give you these problems back,
you will be right back where you started?
Leave them with Me and forget about
them. Just let Me do my job.

5. TALK TO ME:
I want you to forget a lot of things.
Forget what was making you crazy.
Forget the worry and the fretting because
you know I’m in control. But there’s one
thing I pray you never forget. Please, don’t
forget to talk to Me – OFTEN! I love YOU!
I want to hear your voice. I want you to
include Me in on the things going on in your life.
I want to hear you talk about your friends
and family. Prayer is simply you having
a conversation with Me. I want to be your
dearest friend.

6. HAVE FAITH:
I see a lot of things from up here that you
can’t see from where you are. Have faith in
Me that I know what I’m doing. Trust Me;
you wouldn’t want the view from My eyes.
I will continue to care for you, watch over you,
and meet your needs. You only have to trust Me.
Although I have a much h bigger task than you,
it seems as if you have so much trouble just
doing your simple part. How hard can trust be?

7. SHARE:
You were taught to share when you were
only two years old. When did you forget?
That rule still applies. Share with those who are
less fortunate than you. Share your joy with
those who need encouragement. Share your
laughter with those who haven’t heard any in
such a long time. Share your tears with those
who have forgotten how to cry. Share your faith
with those who have none.

8. BE PATIENT:
I managed to fix it so in just one lifetime
you could have so many diverse experiences.
You grow from a child to an adult, have children,
change jobs many times, learn many trades,
travel to so many places, meet thousands
of people, and experience so much. How can
you be so impatient then when it takes Me
a little longer than you expect to handle
something on My to-do-list? Trust in My
timing, for My timing is perfect. Just
because I created the entire universe in
only six days, everyone thinks I should
always rush, rush, rush.

9. BE KIND:
Be kind to others, for I love them just
as much as I love you. They may not dress
like you, or talk like you, or live the same way
you do, but I still love you all. Please try
to get along, for My sake. I created each
of you different in some way. It would be
too boring if you were all identical.
Please, know I love each of your differences.

10. LOVE YOURSELF:
As much as I love you, how can you not
love yourself? You were created by me for
one reason only — to be loved, and to love
in return. I am a God of Love. Love Me.
Love your neighbors. But also love yourself.
It makes My heart ache when I see you
so angry with yourself when things go
wrong. You are very precious to me.
Don’t ever forget……

Dear Banta
Vahe Guru !

I am in a well here and hoping you are in the same well there. I’m writing this letter slowly, because I know you cannot read fast.

We don’t live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the newspaper that most accidents happen 20 miles from home, so we moved 20 miles.

I wont be able to send the address as the last Sardar who stayed here took the house numbers with them for their new house so they would not have to change their address. Hopefully by next week we will be able to bring our earlier address plate here, so that our address will remain same too.

This place is really nice. It even has a washing machine, situated right above the commode. I’m not sure it works. Last week I put in 3 shirts, pulled the chain and haven’t seen them since.

The weather here isn’t too bad. It rained only twice last week. The first time it rained for 3 days and second time for 4 days.

The coat you wanted me to send you, your Aunt said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with all the metal buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pocket.

Your father has another job. He has 500 men under him. He is cutting the grass at the cemetery.

By the way I took Bahu to our club’s poolside. The manager is really badmash. He told her that two-piece swimming suit is not allowed in this club. We were confused as to which piece should we remove?

Your sister had a baby this morning. I haven’t found out whether it is a girl or a boy, so I don’t know whether you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your uncle, Jetinder fell in a nearby well. Some men tried to pull him out, but he fought them off bravely and drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Your best friend, Balwinder, is no more. He died trying to fulfill his father’s last wishes. His father had wished to be buried at sea after he died. And your friend died while in the process of digging a grave for his father.

There isn’t much more news this time. Nothing much has happened.

P.S: Beta, I was going to send you some money but by the time I realized, I had already sealed off this letter.