Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

170.
In asking Mulla Nasrudin for a loan of
10, awomansaidtohim, ”IfIdon0tgettheloanIwillberuined.”
”Madam,” replied Nasrudin, ”IF A WOMAN CAN BE RUINED FOR
10, THENSHEISN0TWORTHSAV ING.”

171.
Mulla Nasrudin met a man on a London street. They had known each other slightly in America.
”How are things with you?” asked the Mulla.
”Pretty fair,” said the other. ”I have been doing quite well in this country.”
”How about lending me 100, then?”saidNasrudin.
”Why I hardly know you, and you are asking me to lend you 100!”
”I can’t understand it,” said Nasrudin. ”IN THE OLD COUNTRY PEOPLE WOULD NOT LEND ME
MONEY BECAUSE THEY KNEW ME, AND HERE I CAN’T GET A LOAN BECAUSE THEY DON’T
KNOW ME.”

171.
”I have found the road to success no easy matter,” said Mulla Nasrudin. ”I started at the bottom. I
worked twelve hours a day. I sweated. I fought. I took abuse. I did things I did not approve of. But I
kept right on climbing the ladder.”
”And now, of course, you are a success, Mulla?” prompted the interviewer.
”No, I would not say that,” replied Nasrudin with a laugh. ”JUST QUOTE ME AS SAYING THAT I
HAVE BECOME AN EXPERT AT CLIMBING LADDERS.”

172.
Mulla Nasrudin, asked if he believed in luck, replied ”CERTAINLY: HOW ELSE DO YOU EXPLAIN
THE SUCCESS OF THOSE YOU DON’T LIKE?”

173.
Mulla Nasrudin was the witness in a railroad accident case.
”You saw this accident while riding the freight train?”
”Where were you when the accident happened?”
”Oh, about forty cars from the crossing.”
”Forty car lengths at 2 a. m.! Your eyesight is remarkable! How far can you see at night, anyway?”
”I CAN’T EXACTLY SAY,” said Nasrudin. ”JUST HOW FAR AWAY IS THE MOON?”

174.
Mulla Nasrudin’s wife seeking a divorce charged that her husband ”thinks only of horse racing. He
talks horse racing: he sleeps horse racing and the racetrack is the only place he goes. It is horses,
horses, horses all day long and most of the night. He does not even know the date of our wedding.
”That’s not true, Your Honour,” cried Nasrudin. ”WE WERE MARRIED THE DAY DARK STAR WON
THE KENTUCKY DERBY.”

175.
There was a play in which an important courtroom scene included Mulla Nasrudin as a hurriedly
recruited judge. All that he had to do was sit quietly until asked for his verdict and give it as instructed
by the play’s director.
But Mulla Nasrudin was by no means apathetic, he became utterly absorbed in the drama being
played before him. So absorbed, in fact, that instead of following instructions and saying ”Guilty,” the
Mulla arose and firmly said, ”NOT GUILTY.”

176.
Two graduates of the Harvard School of Business decided to start their own business and put into
practice what they had learned in their studies. But they soon went into bankruptcy and Mulla
Nasrudin took over their business. The two educated men felt sorry for the Mulla and taught him
what they knew about economic theory.
Some time later the two former proprietors called on their successor when they heard he was doing
a booming business. ”What’s the secret of your success?”
they asked Mulla Nasrudin.
”T’ain’t really no secret,” said Nasrudin. ”As you know, schooling and theory is not in my line. I just
buy an article for 1andsellitfor2. ONE PER CENT PROFIT IS ENOUGH FOR ME.”

177.
Mulla Nasrudin’s testimony in a shooting affair was unsatisfactory. When asked, ”Did you see the
shot fired?” the Mulla replied, ”No, Sir, I only heard it.”
”Stand down,” said the judge sharply. ”Your testimony is of no value.”
Nasrudin turned around in the box to leave and when his back was turned to the judge he laughed
loud and derisively. Irate at this exhibition of contempt, the judge called the Mulla back to the chair
and demanded to know how he dared to laugh in the court.
”Did you see me laugh, Judge?” asked Nasrudin.
”No, but I heard you,” retorted the judge.
”THAT EVIDENCE IS NOT SATISFACTORY, YOUR HONOUR.” said Nasrudin respectfully.

178.
Mulla Nasrudin and a friend went to the racetrack.
The Mulla decided to place a hunch bet on Chopped Meat.
On his way to the betting window he encountered a tout who talked him into betting on Tug of War
since, said the tout, ”Chopped Meat does not have a chance.”
The next race the friend decided to play a hunch and bet on a horse named Overcoat. On his way
to the window he met the same tout, who convinced him Overcoat did not have a chance and talked
him into betting on Flying Feet. So Overcoat won, and Flyiny Feet came in last. On their way to the
parking lot for the return trip, winnerless, the two friends decided to buy some peanuts. The Mulla
said he’d get them. He came back with popcorn.
”What’s the idea?” said his friend ”I thought we agreed to buy peanuts.”
”YES, I KNOW,” said Mulla Nasrudin. ”BUT I MET THAT MAN AGAIN.”

179.
Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend that he was starting a business in partnership with another fellow.
”How much capital are you putting in it, Mulla?” the friend asked.
”None. The other man is putting up the capital, and I am putting in the experience,” said the Mulla.
”So, it’s a fifty-fifty agreement.”
”Yes, that’s the way we are starting out,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT I FIGURE IN ABOUT FIVE YEARS I
WILL HAVE THE CAPITAL AND HE WILL HAVE THE EXPERIENCE.”