Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

150.
Mulla Nasrudin and his wife were guests at an English country home – an atmosphere new and
uncomfortable to them. In addition, they were exceptionally awkward when it came to hunting; so
clumsy in fact that the Mulla narrowly missed shooting the wife of their host. When the Englishman
sputtered his rage at such dangerous ineptness, Mulla Nasrudin handed his gun to the Englishman
and said, ”WELL, HERE, TAKE MY GUN; IT’S ONLY FAIR THAT YOU HAVE A SHOT AT MY WIFE.”

151.
Mulla Nasrudin and his friend, out hunting, were stopped by a game warden. The Mulla took off,
and the game warden went after him and caught him, and then the Mulla showed the warden his
hunting licence.
”Why did you run when you had a licence?” asked the warden.
”BECAUSE,” said Nasrudin, ”THE OTHER FELLOW DIDN’T HAVE ONE.”

152.
The great specialist had just completed his medical examination of Mulla Nasrudin and told him the
fee was 25.
”The fee is too high I ain’t got that much.” said the Mulla.
”Well make it 15, then.”
”It’s still too much. I haven’t got it,” said the Mulla.
”All right,” said the doctor, ”give me 5andbeatit.”
”Who has 5?Notme, ”saidtheMulla.
”Well give me whatever you have, and get out,” said the doctor.
”Doctor, I have nothing,” said the Mulla.
By this time the doctor was in a rage and said, ”If you have no money you have some nerve to call
on a specialist of my standing and my fees.”
Mulla Nasrudin, too, now got mad and shouted back at the doctor: ”LET ME TELL YOU, DOCTOR,
WHEN MY HEALTH IS CONCERNED NOTHING IS TOO EXPENSIVE FOR ME.”

153.
Mulla Nasrudin was talking in the teahouse on the lack of GOOD SAMARITAN SPIRIT in the world
today. To illustrate he recited an episode: ”During the lunch hour I walked with a friend toward a
nearby restaurant when we saw laying on the street a helpless fellow human who had collapsed.”
After a solemn pause the Mulla added, ”Not only had nobody bothered to stop and help this poor
fellow, BUT ON OURWAY BACK AFTER LUNCH WE SAWHIM STILL LYING IN THE SAME SPOT.”

154.
Mulla Nasrudin sitting in the street car addressed the woman standing before him: ”You must excuse
my not giving you my seat – I am a member of The Sit Still Club.”
”Certainly, Sir,” the woman replied. ”And please excuse my staring – I belong to The Stand and
Stare Club.”
She proved it so well that Mulla Nasrudin at last got to his feet.
”I GUESS, MA’AM,” he mumbled, ”I WILL RESIGN FROM MY CLUB AND JOIN YOURS.”

155.
”I am terribly worried,” said Mulla Nasrudin to the psychiatrist. ”My wife thinks she’s a horse.”
”We should be able to cure her,” said the psychiatrist ”But it will take a long time and quite a lot of
money.”
”OH, MONEY IS NO PROBLEM,” said Nasrudin. ”SHE HAS WON SO MANY HORSE RACES.”

156.
The caravan was marching through the desert. It was hot and dry with not a drop of water anywhere.
Mulla Nasrudin fell to the ground and moaned.
”What’s the matter with him?” asked the leader of the caravan.
”He is just homesick,” said Nasrudin’s companion.
”Homesick? We are all homesick,” said the leader.
”YES,” said Mulla Nasrudin’s companion ”BUT HE IS WORSE. HE OWNS A TAVERN.”

157.
Mulla Nasrudin’s son was studying homework and said his father, ”Dad, what is a monologue?”
”A MONOLOGUE,” said Nasrudin, ”IS A CONVERSATION BEING CARRIED ON BY YOUR
MOTHER WITH ME.”

158.
Mulla Nasrudin stormed out of his office and yelled, ”SOMETHING HAS GOT TO BE DONE ABOUT
THOSE SIX PHONES ON MY DESK. FOR THE PAST FIVE MINUTES I HAVE BEEN TALKING TO
MYSELF.”

159.
Mulla Nasrudin was complaining to a friend.
”My wife is a nagger,” he said.
”What is she fussing about this time?” his friend asked.
”Now,” said the Mulla, ”she has begun to nag me about what I eat. This morning she asked me if I
knew how many pancakes I had eaten. I told her I don’t count pancakes and she had the nerve to
tell me I had eaten 19 already.”
”And what did you say?” asked his friend.
”I didn’t say anything,” said Nasrudin. ”I WAS SO MAD, I JUST GOT UP FROM THE TABLE AND
WENT TO WORK WITHOUT MY BREAKFAST.”

160.
Mulla Nasrudin had been arrested for being drunk and was being questioned at the police station.
”So you say, you are a poet,” demanded the desk sargeant.
”Yes, Sir,” said the Mulla.
”That’s not so, Sargeant,” said the arresting officer.
”I SEARCHED HIM AND FOUND 500INHISPOCKET.”

161.
Mulla Nasrudin was bragging about his rich friends. ”I have one friend who saves five hundred
dollars a day,” he said.
”What does he do, Mulla?” asked a listener. ”How does he save five hundred dollars a day?”
”Every morning when he goes to work, he goes in the subway,” said Nasrudin. ”You know in the
subway, there is a five-hundred dollar fine if you spit, SO, HE DOESN’T SPIT!”

162.
Mulla Nasrudin looked at the drug clerk doubtfully. ”I take it for granted,” he said, ”that you are a
qualified druggist.”
”Oh, yes, Sir” he said.
”Have you passed all the required examinations?”
asked the Mulla.
”Yes,” he said again.
”You have never poisoned anybody by mistake, have you?” the Mulla asked.
”Why, no!” he said.
”IN THAT CASE,” said Nasrudin, ”PLEASE GIVE ME TEN CENTS’ WORTH OF EPSOM SALTS.”

163.
Mulla Nasrudin went to get a physical examination.
He was so full of alcohol that the doctor said to him,
”You will have to come back the day after tomorrow. Any examination we might make today would
not mean anything – that’s what whisky does, you know.”
”YES, I KNOW,” said Nasrudin. ”I SOMETIMES HAVE THAT TROUBLE MYSELF. I WILL DO AS
YOU SAY AND COME BACK THE DAY AFTER TOMORROW – WHEN YOU ARE SOBER, SIR.”

164.
Mulla Nasrudin had been to see the doctor. When he came home, his wife asked him: ”Well, did the
doctor find out what you had?”
”ALMOST,” said Nasrudin. ”I HAD 40ANDHECHARGEDME49.”

165.
Mulla Nasrudin, elected to the Congress, was being interviewed by the press. One reporter asked:
”Do you feel that you have influenced public opinion, Sir?”
”NO,” answered Nasrudin. ”PUBLIC OPINION IS SOMETHING LIKE A MULE I ONCE OWNED. IN
ORDER TO KEEP UP THE APPEARANCE OF BEING THE DRIVER, I HAD TO WATCH THE WAY
IT WAS GOING AND THEN FOLLOWED AS CLOSELY AS I COULD.”

166.
An insurance salesman had been talking for hours try-ing to sell Mulla Nasrudin on the idea of
insuring his barn. At last he seemed to have the prospect interested because he had begun to ask
questions.
”Do you mean to tell me,” asked the Mulla, ”that if I give you a check for
75andifmybarnburnsdown, youwillpayme50,000?’
”That’s exactly right,” said the salesman. ”Now, you are beginning to get the idea.”
”Does it matter how the fire starts?” asked the Mulla.
”Oh, yes,” said the salesman. ”After each fire we made a careful investigation to make sure the fire
was started accidentally. Otherwise, we don’t pay the claim.”
”HUH,” grunted Nasrudin, ”I KNEW IT WAS TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE.”

167.
The blacksheep of the family had applied to his brother, Mulla Nasrudin, for a loan, which he agreed
to grant him at an interest rate of 9 per cent.
The never-do-well complained about the interest rate ”What will our poor father say when he looks
down from his eternal home and sees one of his sons charging another son 9 per cent on a loan?”
”FROM WHERE HE IS,” said Nasrudin, ”IT WILL LOOK LIKE 6 PER CENT.”

168.
”Mulla, how about lending me 50?”askedafriend.
”Sorry,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”I can only let you have 25.”
”But why not the entire 50,MULLA?”
”NO,” said Nasrudin, ”THAT WAY IT’S EVEN – EACH ONE OF US LOSES 25.”

169.
Mulla Nasrudin and one of his merchant friends on their way to New York were travelling in a carriage
and chatting. Suddenly a band of armed bandits appeared and ordered them to halt.
”Your money or your life,” boomed the leader of the bandits.
’Just a moment please,” said Mulla Nasrudin. ”I owe my friend here
500, andIwouldliketopayhimfirst.
”YOSEL,” said Nasrudin, ”HERE IS YOUR DEBT. REMEMBER, WE ARE SQUARE NOW.”