Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

130.
The minister was congratulating Mulla Nasrudin on his 40th wedding anniversary. ”It requires a lot
of patience, tolerance, and understanding to live with the same woman for 40 years,” he said.
”THANK YOU,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT SHE’S NOT THE SAMEWOMAN SHEWAS WHENWE WERE
FIRST MARRIED.”

131.
Mulla Nasrudin was talking to his little girl about being brave.
”But ain’t you afraid of cows and horses?” she asked.
”Of course not.” said the Mulla
”And ain’t you afraid of bees and thunder and lightening?” asked the child.
”Certainly not.” said the Mulla again.
”GEE, DADDY,” she said ”GUESS YOU AIN’T AFRAID OF NOTHING IN THE WORLD BUT MAMA.”

132.
The audience was questioning Mulla Nasrudin who had just spoken on big game hunting in Africa.
”Is it true,” asked one, ”that wild beasts in the jungle won’t harm you if you carry a torch?”
”THAT ALL DEPENDS,” said Nasrudin ”ON HOW FAST YOU CARRY IT.”

133.
A father was bragging about his daughter who had studied painting in Paris.
”This is the sunset my daughter painted,” he said to Mulla Nasrudin. ”She studied painting abroad,
you know.”
”THAT ACCOUNTS FOR IT,” said Nasrudin. ”I NEVER SAW A SUNSET LIKE THAT IN THIS
COUNTRY.”

134.
Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends rented a boat and went fishing. In a remote part of the like
they found a spot where the fish were really biting.
”We’d better mark this spot so we can come back tomorrow,” said the Mulla.
”O.k., I’ll do it,” replied his friend.
When they got back to the dock, the Mulla asked, ”Did you mark that spot?”
”Sure,” said the second, ”I put a chalk mark on the side of the boat.”
”YOU NITWIT,” said Nasrudin. ”HOW DO YOU KNOW WE WILL GET THE SAME BOAT
TOMORROW?”

135.
One evening when a banquet was all set to begin, the chairman realized that no minister was present
to return thanks. He turned to Mulla Nasrudin, the main speaker and said, ”Sir, since there is no
minister here, will you ask the blessing, please?”
Mulla Nasrudin stood up, bowed his head, and with deep feeling said, ”THERE BEING NO
MINISTER PRESENT, LET US THANK GOD.”

136.
”Have I not shaved you before, Sir?” the barber asked Mulla Nasrudin.
”NO,” said Nasrudin, ”I GOT THAT SCAR DURING THE WAR.”

137.
A barber was surprised to get a tip from Mulla Nasrudin, a customer, before he even climbed into
the chair.
”You are the first customer, Mulla,” he said, ”ever to give me a tip before I cut the hair.”
”THAT’S NOT A TIP,” said Nasrudin. ”THAT’S HUSH MONEY.

138.
”Thankful! What do I have to be thankful for? I can’t pay my bills,” said one fellow to Mulla Nasrudin.
”WELL, THEN,” said Nasrudin, ”BE THANKFUL YOU AREN’T ONE OF YOUR CREDITORS.”

139.
The pilot at the air show was taking passengers up for a spin around town for five dollars a ride.
As he circled city with Mulla Nasrudin, the only customer aboard, he his engine and began to glide
toward the airport.
”I will bet those people down there think my engine couped out,” he laughed. ”I will bet half of them
are scared to death.”
”THAT’S NOTHING.” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”HALF OF US UP HERE ARE TOO.”

140.
Mulla Nasrudin who was reeling drunk was getting into his automobile when a policeman came up
and asked
”You’re not going to drive that car, are you?”
”CERTAINLY I AM GOING TO DRIVE,” said Nasrudin. ”ANYBODY CAN SEE I AM IN NO
CONDITION TO WALK.”

141.
Mulla Nasrudin and his wife on a safari cornered a lion. But the lion fooled them; instead of standing
his ground and fighting, the lion took to his heels and escaped into the underbush.
Mulla Nasrudin terrified very much, was finally asked to stammer out to his wife, ”YOU GO AHEAD
AND SEE WHERE THE LION HAS GONE, AND I WILL TRACE BACK AND SEE WHERE HE
CAME FROM.”

142.
Mulla Nasrudin and a friend were chatting at a bar.
”Do you have the same trouble with your wife that I have with mine?” asked the Mulla.
”What trouble?”
”Why, money trouble. She keeps nagging me for money, money, money, and then more money,” said
the Mulla.
”What does she want with all the money you give her? What does she do with it?”
”I DON’T KNOW,” said Nasrudin. ”I NEVER GIVE HER ANY.”

143.
Mulla Nasrudin’s weekend guest was being driven to the station by the family chauffeur.
”I hope you won’t let me miss my train,” he said.
”NO, SIR,” said the chauffeur. ”THE MULLA SAID IF DID, I’D LOSE MY JOB.”

144.
Mulla Nasrudin: ”My wife has a chronic habit of sitting up every night until two and three o’clock in
the morning and I can’t break her of it.”
Sympathetic friend: ”Why does she sit up that late?”
Nasrudin: ”WAITING FOR ME TO COME HOME.”

145.
”Mulla, did your father leave much money when he died?”
”NO,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”NOT A CENT. IT WAS THIS WAY. HE LOST HIS HEALTH GETTING
WEALTHY, THEN HE LOST HIS WEALTH TRYING TO GET HEALTHY.”

146.
Mulla Nasrudin, a mental patient, was chatting with the new superintendent at the state hospital.
”We like you a lot better than we did the last doctor,” he said.
The new superintendent was obviously pleased. ”And would you mind telling me why?” he asked.
”OH, SOMEHOW YOU JUST SEEM SO MUCH MORE LIKE ONE OF US,” said Nasrudin.

147.
Mulla Nasrudin: ”How much did you pay for that weird-looking hat?”
Wife: ”It was on sale, and I got it for a song.”
Nasrudin ”WELL, IF I HADN’T HEARD YOU SING. I’D SWEAR YOU HAD BEEN CHEATED.”

148.
Mulla Nasrudin was a hypochondriac He has been pestering the doctors of his town to death for
years.
Then one day, a young doctor, just out of the medical school moved to town. Mulla Nasrudin was
one of his first patients.
”I have heart trouble,” the Mulla told him. And then he proceeded to describe in detail a hundred and
one symptoms of all sorts of varied ailments. When he was through he said, ”It is heart trouble, isn’t
it?”
”Not necessarily,” the young doctor said. ”You have described so many symptoms that you might
well have something else wrong with you.”
”HUH,” snorted Mulla Nasrudin ”YOU HAVE YOUR NERVE. A YOUNG DOCTOR, JUST OUT OF
SCHOOL, DISAGREEING WITH AN EXPERIENCED INVALID LIKE ME.”

149.
Mulla Nasrudin called his wife from the office and said he would like to bring a friend home for dinner
that night.
”What?” screamed his wife. ”You know better than that You know the cook quit yesterday, the baby’s
got the measles, the hot water heater is broken, the painters are redecorating the living room and I
don’t even have any way to get to the supermarket to get our groceries.”
”I know all that,” said Nasrudin. ”THAT’S WHY I WANT TO BRING HIM HOME FOR DINNER. HE
IS A NICE YOUNG MAN AND I LIKE HIM. BUT HE’S THINKING OF GETTING MARRIED.”