Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

71.
Mulla Nasrudin was talking to his friends in the teahouse about the new preacher.
”That man, ’ said the Mulla, ”is the talkingest person in the world. And he can’t be telling the truth all
the time. THERE JUST IS NOT THAT MUCH TRUTH.”

72.
”My wife talks to herself,” the friend told Mulla Nasrudin.
”SO DOES MINE,” said the Mulla, ”BUT SHE DOESN’T REALISE IT. SHE THINKS I AM
LISTENING.”

73.
The man climbed on the stool at a little lunch counter for breakfast. ”Quite a rainy spell, isn’t it?” he
said to Mulla Nasrudin, the man next to him. ”Almost like the flood.”
”Flood? What flood?” said the Mulla.
”Why, the flood,” the first man said, ”you know Noah and the Ark and Mount Ararat.”
”NOPE,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”I HAVE NOT READ THE MORNING PAPER, YET, SIR.”\

74.
A preacher approached Mulla Nasrudin lying in the gutter.
”And so,” he asked, ”this is the work of whisky, isn’t it?”
”NO,” said Nasrudin. ”THIS IS THE WORK OF A BANANA PEEL, SIR.”

75.
Mulla Nasrudin came up to a preacher and said that he wanted to be transformed to the religious
life totally. ”That’s fine,” said the preacher, ”but are you sure you are going to put aside all sin?”
”Yes Sir, I am through with sin,” said the Mulla.
”And are you going to pay up all your debts?” asked the preacher.
”NOW WAIT A MINUTE, PREACHER,” said Nasrudin, ”YOU AIN’T TALKING RELIGION NOW, YOU
ARE TALKING BUSINESS.”

76.
”It is being rumoured around town,” a friend said to Mulla Nasrudin, ”that you and your wife are not
getting along too well. Is there anything to it?”
”NONSENSE,” said Nasrudin. ”WE DID HAVE A FEW WORDS AND I SHOT HER. BUT THAT’S AS
FAR AS IT WENT.”

77.
The word had passed around that Mulla Nasrudin’s wife had left him. While the news was still fresh,
an old friend ran into him.
”I have just heard the bad news that your wife has left you,” said the old friend. ”I suppose you go
home every night now and drown your sorrow in drink?”
”No, I have found that to be impossible,” said the Mulla.
”Why is that?” asked his friend ”No drink?”
”NO,” said Nasrudin, ”NO SORROW.”

78.
After the speech Mulla Nasrudin shook hands with the speaker and said he never had a more
enjoyable evening.
”You found my remarks interesting, I trust,” said the speaker.
”NOT EXACTLY,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT YOU DID CURE MY INSOMNIA.”

79.
Mulla Nasrudin who had worked hard on his speech was introduced and given his place at the
microphone.
He stood there for half a minute completely speechless and then said, ”The human mind is the most
wonderful device in the world. It starts working the instant you are born and never stops working
night or day for your entire life – UNTIL THE MOMENT YOU STAND UP TO MAKE A SPEECH.”

80.
Mulla Nasrudin’s wife was a candidate for the state legislature And this was the last day of
campaigning.
”My, I am tired,” said Mulla Nasrudin as they returned to their house after the whole day’s work. ”I
am almost ready to drop.”
”You tired!” cried his wife. ”I am the one to be tired. I made fourteen speeches today.”
”I KNOW,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT I HAD TO LISTEN TO THEM.”

81.
”Mulla, you look sad,” said a friend. ”What is the matter?”
”I had an argument with my wife,” said the Mulla ”and she swore she would not talk to me for 30
days.”
”Well, you should be very happy,” said the first.
”HAPPY?” said Mulla Nasrudin. ”THIS IS THE 30TH DAY.”

82.
Mulla Nasrudin was sitting in a station smoking, when a woman came in, and sitting beside him,
remarked: ”Sir, if you were a gentleman, you would not smoke here!”
”Mum,” said the Mulla, ”if ye was a lady ye’d sit farther away.”
Pretty soon the woman burst out again:
”If you were my husband, I’d given you poison!”
”WELL, MUM,” returned Nasrudin, as he puffed away at his pipe, ”IF YOU WERE ME WIFE, I’D
TAKE IT.”

83.
Somebody asked Mulla Nasrudin why he lived on the top floor, in his small, dusty old rooms, and
suggested that he move.
”NO,” said Nasrudin, ”NO, I SHALL ALWAYS LIVE ON THE TOP FLOOR. IT IS THE ONLY PLACE
WHERE GOD ALONE IS ABOVE ME.” Then after a pause, ”HE’S BUSY – BUT HE’S QUIET.”

84.
Mulla Nasrudin was in tears when he opened the door for his wife. ”I have been insulted,” he sobbed.
”Your mother insulted me.”
”My mother,” she exclaimed. ”But she is a hundred miles away.”
”I know, but a letter came for you this morning and I opened it.”
She looked stern. ”I see, but where does the insult come in?”
”IN THE POSTSCRIPT,” said Nasrudin. ”IT SAID ’DEAR NASRUDIN, PLEASE, DON’T FORGET
TO GIVE THIS LETTER TO MY DAUGHTER.’”

85.
The richest man of the town fell into the river.
He was rescued by Mulla Nasrudin. The fellow asked the Mulla how he could reward him.
”The best way, Sir,” said Nasrudin. ”is to say nothing about it. IF THE OTHER FELLOWS KNEW I’D
PULLED YOU OUT, THEY’D CHUCK ME IN.”

86.
Mulla Nasrudin arrived late at the country club dance, and discovered that in slipping on the icy
pavement outside, he had torn one knee of his trousers.
”Come into the ladies’ dressing room, Mulla,” said his wife – ”There’s no one there and I will pin it up
for you.”
Examination showed that the rip was too large to be pinned. A maid furnished a needle and thread
and was stationed at the door to keep out intruders, while Nasrudin removed his trousers. His wife
went busily to work.
Presently at the door sounded excited voices.
”We must come in, maid,” a woman was saying. ”Mrs. Jones is ill. Quick, let us in.”
”Here,” said the resourceful Mrs. Mulla Nasrudin to her terrified husband, ”get into this closest for a
minute.”
She opened the door and pushed the Mulla through it just in time. But instantly, from the opposite
side of the door, came loud thumps and the agonized voice of the Mulla demanding that his wife
open it at once.
”But the women are here,” Mrs. Nasrudin objected.
”OH, DAMN THE WOMEN!” yelled Nasrudin. ”I AM OUT IN THE BALLROOM.”

87.
”I can’t find anything organically wrong with you,” the doctor said to Mulla Nasrudin.
”As you know, many illnesses come from worry. You probably have some
business or social problem that you should talk over with a good psychiatrist. A
case very similar to yours came to me only a few weeks ago. The man had a
5, 000notedueandcouldnotpayit.Becauseofhismoneyproblem, hehadworriedhimselfintoastateofnervousexhaustion.”
”And did you cure him?” asked Mulla Nasrudin.
”Yes,” said the doctor, ”I just told him to stop worrying; that life was too short to make himself sick
over a scrap of paper. Now he is back to normal. He has stopped worrying entirely.”
”YES; I KNOW,” said Nasrudin, sadly. ”I AM THE ONE HE OWES THE 5, 000TO.”

88.
It was the final hand of the night. The cards were dealt. The pot was opened. Plenty of raising went
on.
Finally, the hands were called.
”I win,” said one fellow. ”I have three aces and a pair of queens.”
”No, I win, ’ said the second fellow. ”I have three aces and a pair of kings.”
”NONE OF YOU-ALL WIN,” said Mulla Nasrudin, the third one. ”I DO. I HAVE TWO DEUCES AND
A THIRTY-EIGHT SPECIAL.”

89.
Mulla Nasrudin and his two friends were arguing over whose profession was first established on
earth.
”Mine was,” said the surgeon. ”The Bible says that Eve was made by carving a rib out of Adam.”
”Not at all,” said the engineer. ”An engineering job came before that. In six days the earth was
created out of chaos. That was an engineer’s job.”
”YES,” said Mulla Nasrudin, the politician, ”BUT WHO CREATED THE CHAOS?”