Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

51.
”My grandfather,” bragged one fellow in the teahouse, ’lived to be ninety-nine and never used
glasses.”
”WELL,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”LOTS OF PEOPLE WOULD RATHER DRINK FROM THE BOTTLE.”

52.
It was after the intermission at the theater, and Mulla Nasrudin and his wife were returning to their
seats.
”Did I step on your feet as I went out?” the Mulla asked a man at the end of the row.
”You certainly did,” said the man awaiting an apology.
Mulla Nasrudin turned to his wife, ”IT’S ALL RIGHT, DARLING,” he said. ”THIS IS OUR ROW.”

53.
A patrolman was about to write a speeding ticket, when a woman in the back seat began shouting
at Mulla Nasrudin, ”There! I told you to watch out. But you kept right on. Getting out of line, not
blowing your horn, passing stop streets, speeding, and everything else. Didn’t I tell you, you’d get
caught? Didn’t I? Didn’t I?”
”Who is that woman?” the patrolman asked.
”My wife,” said the Mulla.
”DRIVE ON,” the patrolman said. ”YOU HAVE BEEN PUNISHED ENOUGH.”

54.
Mulla Nasrudin was visiting the town dentist to get some advance prices on his work.
”The price for pulling a tooth is four dollars each,” the dentist told him. ”But in order to make it
painless we will have to give gas and that will be three dollars extra.”
”Oh, don’t worry about giving gas,” said the Mulla.
”That won’t be necessary. We can save the three dollars.”
”That’s all right with me,” said the dentist. ”I have heard that you mountain people are strong and
tough. All I can say is that you are a brave man.”
”IT ISN’T ME THAT’S HAVING MY TOOTH PULLED,” said Nasrudin. ”IT’S MY WIFE.”

55.
The professional money raiser
called upon Mulla Nasrudin. ”I am seeking contributions for a worthy charity,” he said. ”Our goal
is 100, 000andawell − knownphilanthropisthasalreadydonatedaquarterofthat.”
”WONDERFUL,” said Nasrudin. ”AND I WILL GIVE YOU ANOTHER QUARTER. HAVE YOU GOT
CHANGE FOR A DOLLAR?”

56.
”Come and have a drink, boys ”
Mulla Nasrudin came up and took a drink of whisky.
”How is this, Mulla?” asked a bystander. ”How can you drink whisky? Sure it was only yesterday ye
told me ye was a teetotaller.”
”WELL,” said Nasrudin. ”YOU ARE RIGHT, I AM A TEETOTALLER IT IS TRUE, BUT I AM NOT A
BIGOTED ONE!”

57.
One Thursday night, Mulla Nasrudin came home to supper. His wife served him baked beans. He
threw his plate of beans against the wall and shouted, ”I hate baked beans.”
’Mulla, I can’t figure you out,” his wife said,
”MONDAY NIGHT YOU LIKED BAKED BEANS, TUESDAY NIGHT YOU LIKED BAKED BEANS,
WEDNESDAY NIGHT YOU LIKED BAKED BEANS AND NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, ON
THURSDAY NIGHT, YOU SAY YOU HATE BAKED BEANS.”

58.
The prosecutor began his cross-examination of the witness, Mulla Nasrudin.
”Do you know this man?”
”How should I know him?”
”Did he borrow money from you?”
”Why should he borrow money from me?”
Annoyed, the judge asked the Mulla ”Why do you persist in answering every question with another
question?”
”WHY NOT?” said Mulla Nasrudin

59.
Mulla Nasrudin had taken one too many when he walked upto the police sargeant’s desk.
”Officer you’d better lock me up,” he said. ”I just hit my wife on the head with a beer bottle.”
”Did you kill her:” asked the officer.
”Don’t think so,” said Nasrudin. ”THAT’S WHY I WANT YOU TO LOCK ME UP.”

60.
Mulla Nasrudin’s family was on a picnic. The wife was standing near the edge of a high cliff, admiring
the sea dashing on the rocks below. Her young son came up and said, ”DAD SAYS IT’S NOT SAFE
HERE. EITHER YOU STAND BACK FARTHER OR GIVE ME THE SANDWICHES.”