Funny SMS & SMS Jokes

110.
A man who has been married for ten years complained one day to his friend Mulla Nasrudin. ”When
we were first married,” he said, ”I was very happy. I would come home from a hard day at the office.
My little dog would race around barking, and my wife would bring me my slippers. Now after ten
years, everything has changed. When I come home, my dog brings me my slippers, and my wife
barks at me!”
”I DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU ARE COMPLAINING ABOUT,” said Nasrudin. ”YOU ARE STILL
GETTING THE SAME SERVICE, ARE YOU NOT?”

111.
Mulla Nasrudin’s wife limped past the teahouse.
”There goes a woman who is willing to suffer for her beliefs,” said the Mulla to his friends there.
”Why, what belief is that?” asked someone.
”OH, SHE BELIEVES SHE CAN WEAR A NUMBER FOUR SHOE ON A NUMBER SIX FOOT,” said
Nasrudin.

112.
The lawyer was working on their divorce case.
After a preliminary conference with Mulla Nasrudin, the lawyer reported back to the Mulla’s wife.
”I have succeeded,” he told her, ”in reaching a settlement with your husband that’s fair to both of
you.”
”FAIR TO BOTH?” cried the wife. ”I COULD HAVE DONE THAT MYSELF. WHY DO YOU THINK I
HIRED A LAWYER?”

113.
Mulla Nasrudin was suffering from what appeared to be a case of shattered nerves. After a long
spell of failing health, he finally called a doctor.
”You are in serious trouble,” the doctor said. ”You are living with some terrible evil thing; something
that is possessing you from morning to night. We must find what it is and destroy it.”
”SSSH, DOCTOR,” said Nasrudin, ”YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT, BUT DON’T SAY IT SO LOUD
– SHE IS SITTING IN THE NEXT ROOM AND SHE MIGHT HEAR YOU.”

114.
Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends had been drinking all evening in a bar. The friend finally
passed out and fell to the floor. The Mulla called a doctor who rushed him to a hospital. When he
came to, the doctor asked him, ”Do you see any pink elephants or little green men?”
”Nope,” groaned the patient.
”No snakes or alligators?” the doctor asked.
”Nope,” the drunk said.
”Then just sleep it off and you will be all right in the morning,” said the doctor.
But Mulla Nasrudin was worried. ”LOOK, DOCTOR.” he said, ”THAT BOY’S IN BAD SHAPE. HE
SAID HE COULDN’T SEE ANY OF THEM ANIMALS, AND YOU AND I KNOW THE ROOM IS FULL
OF THEM.”

115.
Mulla Nasrudin and one of his friends were attending a garden party for charity which featured
games of chance.
”I just took a one-dollar chance for charity,” said the friend, ”and a beautiful blonde gave me a kiss. I
hate to say it, but she kissed better than my wife!”
The Mulla said he was going to try it. Afterwards the friend asked: ”How was it, Mulla?”
”SWELL,” said Nasrudin, ”BUT NO BETTER THAN YOUR WIFE.”

116.
Mulla Nasrudin’s teenager son had dented a fender on the family car.
”What did your father say when you told him?” the boy’s mother asked.
”Should I leave out the cuss words?” he said.
”Yes, of course,” said his mother.
”IN THAT CASE,” said the boy, ”HE DIDN’T SAY A WORD.”

117.
The woman lecturer was going strong. ”For centuries women have been misjudged and mistreated,”
she shouted. ”They have suffered in a thousand ways. Is there any way that women have not
suffered?”
As she paused to let that question sink in, it was answered by Mulla Nasrudin, who was presiding the
meeting. ”YES, THERE IS ONE WAY,” he said. ”THEY HAVE NEVER SUFFERED IN SILENCE.”

118.
The man at the poultry counter had sold everything except one fryer. Mulla Nasrudin, a customer,
said he was entertaining at dinner and wanted a nice-sized fryer. The clerk threw the fryer on the
scales and said, ”This one will be 1.35.”
”Well,” said the Mulla, ”I really wanted a larger one.”
The clerk, thinking fast, put the fryer back in the box and stirred it around a bit. Then he brought it
out again and put it on the scales. ”This one,” he said, ”will be S1.95.”
”WONDERFUL,” said Nasrudin. ”I WILL TAKE BOTH OF THEM!”

119.
A highway patrolman pulled alongside Mulla Nasrudin’s car and waved him to the side of the road.
”Sir your wife fell out of the car three miles back,” he said.
”SO THAT’S IT,” said the Mulla. ”I THOUGHT I HAD GONE STONE DEAF.”

120.
The young doctor seemed pleased after looking over his patient, Mulla Nasrudin.
”You are getting along just fine,” he said. ”Of course. your shoulder is still badly swollen, but that
does not bother me in the least.”
”I DON’T GUESS IT DOES,” said Nasrudin. ”IF YOUR SHOULDER WERE SWOLLEN, IT
WOULDN’T BOTHER ME EITHER.”

121.
Mulla Nasrudin had been placed in a mental hospital, for treatment. After a few weeks, a friend
visited him. ”How are you going on?” he asked.
”Oh, just fine,” said the Mulla.
”That’s good,” his friend said. ”Guess you will be coming back to your home soon?”
”WHAT!” said Nasrudin. ”I SHOULD LEAVE A FINE COMFORTABLE HOUSE LIKE THIS WITH
A SWIMMING POOL AND FREE MEALS TO COME TO MY OWN DIRTY HOUSE WITH A MAD
WIFE TO LIVE WITH? YOU MUST THINK I AM CRAZY!”

122.
Mulla Nasrudin visiting a mental hospital stood chatting at great length to one man in particular. He
asked all sorts of questions about how he was treated, and how long he had been there and what
hobbies he was interested in.
As the Mulla left him and walked on with the attendant, he noticed he was grinning broadly. The
Mulla asked what was amusing and the attendant told the visitor that he had been talking to the
medical superintendent. Embarrassed, Nasrudin rushed back to make apologies. ”I AM SORRY
DOCTOR,” he said. ”I WILL NEVER GO BY APPEARANCES AGAIN.”

123.
A famous surgeon had developed the technique of removing the brain from a person, examining it,
and putting it back. One day, some friends brought him Mulla Nasrudin to be examined The surgeon
operated on the Mulla and took his brain out. When the surgeon went to the laboratory to examine
the brain, he discovered the patient had mysteriously disappeared. Six years later Mulla Nasrudin
returned to the hospital.
”Where have you been for six years?” asked the amazed surgeon.
”OH, AFTER I LEFT HERE,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”I GOT ELECTED TO CONGRESS AND I HAVE
BEEN IN THE CAPITAL EVER SINCE, SIR.”

124.
Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend how he got started in the bank business.
”I was out of work,” he said, ”so to keep busy, I rented an empty store, and painted
the word ’BANK’ on the window. The same day, a man came in and deposited
300.Nextday, anotherfellowcameinandputin250.
”I DON’T GUESS IT DOES,” said Nasrudin. ”IF YOUR SHOULDER WERE SWOLLEN, IT
WOULDN’T BOTHER ME EITHER.”

121.
Mulla Nasrudin had been placed in a mental hospital, for treatment. After a few weeks, a friend
visited him. ”How are you going on?” he asked.
”Oh, just fine,” said the Mulla.
”That’s good,” his friend said. ”Guess you will be coming back to your home soon?”
”WHAT!” said Nasrudin. ”I SHOULD LEAVE A FINE COMFORTABLE HOUSE LIKE THIS WITH
A SWIMMING POOL AND FREE MEALS TO COME TO MY OWN DIRTY HOUSE WITH A MAD
WIFE TO LIVE WITH? YOU MUST THINK I AM CRAZY!”

122.
Mulla Nasrudin visiting a mental hospital stood chatting at great length to one man in particular. He
asked all sorts of questions about how he was treated, and how long he had been there and what
hobbies he was interested in.
As the Mulla left him and walked on with the attendant, he noticed he was grinning broadly. The
Mulla asked what was amusing and the attendant told the visitor that he had been talking to the
medical superintendent. Embarrassed, Nasrudin rushed back to make apologies. ”I AM SORRY
DOCTOR,” he said. ”I WILL NEVER GO BY APPEARANCES AGAIN.”

123.
A famous surgeon had developed the technique of removing the brain from a person, examining it,
and putting it back. One day, some friends brought him Mulla Nasrudin to be examined The surgeon
operated on the Mulla and took his brain out. When the surgeon went to the laboratory to examine
the brain, he discovered the patient had mysteriously disappeared. Six years later Mulla Nasrudin
returned to the hospital.
”Where have you been for six years?” asked the amazed surgeon.
”OH, AFTER I LEFT HERE,” said Mulla Nasrudin, ”I GOT ELECTED TO CONGRESS AND I HAVE
BEEN IN THE CAPITAL EVER SINCE, SIR.”

124.
Mulla Nasrudin was telling a friend how he got started in the bank business.
”I was out of work,” he said, ”so to keep busy, I rented an empty store, and painted
the word ’BANK’ on the window. The same day, a man came in and deposited
300.Nextday, anotherfellowcameinandputin250.
”WELL,” said Nasrudin, ”I WAS GOING TO, BUT YOU KNOW HOW SILLY I LOOK IN A SILK HAT.”