Fri 30 May 2008
A blind man went with Mulla Nasrudin to the race-track to bet on a horse named Bolivar. The Mulla
stood next to him and related BolivarÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s progress in the race.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂHow is Bolivar at the quarter?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂAnd how is Bolivar at the half?Ã¢â‚¬Â
After a few seconds, Ã¢â‚¬ÂHow is Bolivar at the three-quarter?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂHolding his own.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂHow is Bolivar in the stretch?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂIn there running like hell!Ã¢â‚¬Â said Nasrudin. Ã¢â‚¬ÂHE IS HEADING FOR THE LINE, DRIVING ALL THE
OTHER HORSES IN FRONT OF HIM.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂWhy do you call your mule Ã¢â‚¬ÂPOLITICIAN,Ã¢â‚¬Â Mulla?Ã¢â‚¬Â a neighbor asked.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂBECAUSE,Ã¢â‚¬Â said Mulla Nasrudin, Ã¢â‚¬ÂTHIS MULE GETS MORE BLAME AND ABUSE THAN
ANYTHING ELSE AROUND HERE, BUT HE STILL GOES AHEAD AND DOES JUST WHAT HE
Ã¢â‚¬ÂYou look mighty dressed up, Mulla,Ã¢â‚¬Â a friend said to Mulla Nasrudin. Ã¢â‚¬ÂWhatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s going on, something
Ã¢â‚¬ÂYes,Ã¢â‚¬Â said the Mulla, Ã¢â‚¬ÂI am celebrating tonight with my wife. I am taking her to dinner in honor of
seven years of perfect married happiness.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂSeven years of married happiness,Ã¢â‚¬Â the friend said. Ã¢â‚¬ÂWhy man, I think thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wonderful.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂI THINK ITÃ¢â‚¬â„¢S PRETTY GOOD MYSELF,Ã¢â‚¬Â said Nasrudin. Ã¢â‚¬ÂSEVEN OUT OF SEVENTY.Ã¢â‚¬Â
A newspaper reporter was interviewing Mulla Nasrudin on the occasion of his 105th birthday.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂTell me,Ã¢â‚¬Â he said, Ã¢â‚¬Âdo you believe the younger generation is on the road to perdition?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂYES, SIR,Ã¢â‚¬Â said old Nasrudin. Ã¢â‚¬ÂAND I HAVE BELIEVED IT FOR MORE THAN NINETY YEARS.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂWhy didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t you answer the letter I sent you?Ã¢â‚¬Â demanded Mulla NasrudinÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s wife.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂWhy, I didnÃ¢â‚¬â„¢t get any letter from you,Ã¢â‚¬Â said Nasrudin. Ã¢â‚¬ÂAND BESIDES, I DIDNÃ¢â‚¬â„¢T LIKE THE THINGS
YOU SAID IN IT!Ã¢â‚¬Â
After giving his speech, the guest of the evening was standing at the door with Mulla Nasrudin, the
president of the group, shaking hands with the folks as they left the hall.
Compliments were coming right and left, until one fellow shook hands and said, Ã¢â‚¬ÂI thought it stunk.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂWhat did you say?Ã¢â‚¬Â asked the surprised speaker.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂI said it stunk. ThatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s the worst speech anybody ever gave around here. Whoever invited you to
speak tonight ought to be but out of the club.Ã¢â‚¬Â With that he turned and walked away.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂDONÃ¢â‚¬â„¢T PAY ANY ATTENTION TO THAT MAN,Ã¢â‚¬Â said Mulla Nasrudin to the speaker. Ã¢â‚¬ÂHEÃ¢â‚¬â„¢S A NITWlT.
WHY, THAT MAN NEVER HAD AN ORIGINAL, THOUGHT IN HIS LIFE. ALL HE DOES IS LISTEN
TO WHAT OTHER PEOPLE SAY, THEN HE GOES AROUND REPEATING IT.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂWell, Mulla,Ã¢â‚¬Â said the priest, Ã¢â‚¬ÂÃ¢â‚¬â„¢I am glad to see you out again after your long illness. You have had a
bad time of it.Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂIndeed, Sir,Ã¢â‚¬Â said Mulla Nasrudin.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂAnd, when you were so near DeathÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s door, did you feel afraid to meet God?Ã¢â‚¬Â asked the priest.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂNO, SIR,Ã¢â‚¬Â said Nasrudin. Ã¢â‚¬ÂIT WAS THE OTHER GENTLEMAN.Ã¢â‚¬Â
In a street a small truck loaded with glassware collided with a large truck laden with bricks, and
practically all of the glassware was smashed.
Considerable sympathy was felt for the driver as he gazed ruefully at the shattered fragments. A
benevolent looking old gentleman eyed him compassionately.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂMy poor man,Ã¢â‚¬Â he said, Ã¢â‚¬ÂI suppose you will have to make good this loss out of your own pocket?Ã¢â‚¬Â
Ã¢â‚¬ÂYep,Ã¢â‚¬Â was the melancholy reply.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂWell, well,Ã¢â‚¬Â said the philanthropic old gentleman, Ã¢â‚¬Âhold out your hat Ã¢â‚¬â€œ hereÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s fifty cents for you; and
I dare say some of these other people will give you a helping hand too.Ã¢â‚¬Â
The driver held out his hat and over a hundred persons hastened to drop coins in it. At last, when
the contributions had ceased, he emptied the contents of his hat into his pocket. Then, pointing to
the retreating figure of the philanthropist who had started the collection, he observed Ã¢â‚¬ÂSAY, MAYBE
HE AINÃ¢â‚¬â„¢T THE WISE GUY! THATÃ¢â‚¬â„¢S ME BOSS, MULLA NASRUDIN!Ã¢â‚¬Â
Mulla Nasrudin, whose barn burned down, was told by the insurance company that his policy
provided that the company build a new barn, rather than paying him the cash value of it. The
Mulla was incensed by this.
Ã¢â‚¬ÂIf thatÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s the way you fellows operate,Ã¢â‚¬Â he said, Ã¢â‚¬ÂTHEN CANCEL THE INSURANCE I HAVE ON MY
Mulla Nasrudin had spent eighteen months on deserted island, the lone survivor when his yacht
He had managed so well, he thought less and less of his business and his many investments. But
he was nonetheless delighted to see a ship anchor off shore and launch a small boat that headed
toward the island.
When the boat crew reached the shore the officer in charge came forward with a bundle of current
newspapers and magazines. Ã¢â‚¬ÂThe captain,Ã¢â‚¬Â explained the officer, Ã¢â‚¬Âthought you would want to look
over these papers to see what has been happening in the world, before you decide that you want to
Ã¢â‚¬ÂItÃ¢â‚¬â„¢s very thoughtful of him,Ã¢â‚¬Â replied Nasrudin. Ã¢â‚¬ÂBUT I THINK I NEED AN ACCOUNTANT MOST OF
ALL. I HAVENÃ¢â‚¬â„¢T FILED AN INCOME TAX RETURN FOR TWO YEARS, AND WHAT WITH THE
PENALTIES AND ALL, I AM NOT SURE I CAN NOW AFFORD TO RETURN.Ã¢â‚¬Â