Sun 20 Jun 2010
MASTER: Now that you have earned enough money working under me i suggest you to start your own business
SUPPANDI:Yes Master!I have been thinking of it lately.
MASTER: Oh!Is it?! What kind of business did u plan?
SUPPANDI:I am planning to start a saloon in PUNJAB!!!!!
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Suppandi’s master was a small time business man. He had told Suppandi to always try to earn a profit.
Master: Suppandi, I am expecting a washing machine from London Stores. Go and give this Rs.50 note to the shopkeeper and get the machine.
On the way back from the store, a man met Suppandi.
Man: How much did you buy that machine for?
Suppandi: Rs.50
Man: I will give you Rs.90 for it.
Suppandi thought that he was making a profit and sold it and reached home.
Master: Where is the machine? Suppandi: I sold it off on the way for Rs.90, a clear profit of Rs.40.
Master: You fool, that machine was worth Rs.9000. I was paying for it in installments.
Master: Your Fired!!!
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Suppandi’s new master was the owner of a departmental store.
Master: Suppandi, before giving the clothes to the customers always open it and check it for defects.
That evening- Customer: One film roll please.
Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing? Why have you opened the film roll?
Suppandi: I was checking it for defects, master.
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Suppandi’s master was going out.
Master: Suppandi , keep an eye on the dog.
Suppandi: Yes master, but..
Master: But What?
Suppandi: What do I do with the other eye??
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Master: Go to the market and get a mirror so that i can see my face and shave!!
Suppandi: Yes master!!
Goes to the market and returns home without a mirror.
Master: Why didn’t you get a mirror?
Suppandi: Because in all the mirrors i could see only my face!!
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Master: Suppandi, one of my shoes is torn, I’ll get another one from the market.
Suppandi: But you still have the other shoe master.
Master: Don’t be funny Suppandi, what good is one shoe without the other.Then one day…
Master: Suppandi, here take these two Rs.500 notes and go get 10 tube lights.
Suppandi: Yes master.
Master: Suppandi you are back so soon, where are the tube lights?
Suppandi: When I was going, one of the notes slipped from my hand and fell into the sewer, what good is the other note without the pair? So I threw that also into the sewer.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:12 pm
Master: Suppandi, why are you holding the receiver of the phone to your ear? Did it ring?
Suppandi: No, I am expecting an urgent call from my brother.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Master: Suppandi go and get one tomato. Remember to get it from the place you get it the cheapest.
That night-
Master: Suppandi I had only told you get one tomato, what took you so long?
Suppandi: I had caught a train and had gone to a village 100 miles from here which grows tomatoes. There they were the cheapest.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
One day Suppandi was shouting at a couple of children telling them not to make a noise. His master told him that shouting was a bad habit and one should not shout.
Then one morning-
Master: We have been robbed of everything Suppandi!
Suppandi: I know, I saw the thief last night.
Master: But then why didn’t you shout for help?
Suppandi: You only told me that shouting was a bad habit.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Master: Suppandi, go and stop a taxi, I have to go to Chennai right away.
Suppandi: Yes master.
After a while-
Suppandi: Master I could not find a single empty taxi, all of them had atleast one man sitting in them.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Master: Suppandi, one of my shoes is torn, I’ll get another one from the market.
Suppandi: But you still have the other shoe master.
Master: Don’t be funny Suppandi, what good is one shoe without the other.
Then one day-
Master: Suppandi, here take these two Rs.500 notes and go get 10 tube lights.
Suppandi: Okay.
Master: Suppandi you are back so soon, where are the tube lights?
Suppandi: When I was going, one of the notes slipped from my hand and fell into the sewer, what good is the other note without the pair? So I threw that also into the sewer.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:13 pm
Master: Suppandi, how much did you spend on the groceries today?
Suppandi: I spent Rs.99 and 50 paise.
Master: Why don’t you round it off to Rs.100. Rounding off figures is very convenient.
Then one day-
Master: Suppandi, go and get me a ticket to Mumbai.
Suppandi: Yes Master.
When he came back,
Master: What time does the train leave tomorrow?
Suppandi: 4 p.m.
Then the next day-
Master: Its 4 p.m., and the train to Mumbai hasn’t arrived, I think it is late.
A passer by: No sir, the train left at 3:45.
Master: Suppandi, you told me the train is leaving at 4:00 p.m.
Suppandi: The time was 3:45 but I rounded it off to 4p.m.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Suppandi’s master was a small time business man. He had told Suppandi to always try to earn a profit.
Master: Suppandi, I am expecting a washing machine at Dinkar’s Stores. Go and give this Rs.50 note to the shopkeeper and get the machine.
On the way back from the store, a man met Suppandi.
Man: How much did you buy that machine for?
Suppandi: Rs.50.
Man: I will give you Rs.90 for it.
Suppandi thought that he was making a profit and sold it and reached home.
Master: Where is the machine? Suppandi: I sold it off on the way for Rs.90, a clear profit of Rs.40.
Master: You fool, that machine was worth Rs.9000. I was paying for it in installments.
Get out!
June 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Suppandi was dialing the phone to his friend.
Master: Suppandi don’t talk on the phone for more than 3 minutes.
After about ten minutes.
Master: Suppandi, I told you not to talk on the phone for so long.
Suppandi: I didn’t master. I talked only for three minutes, the rest of the time I have been listening.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Master: Suppandi, How much time does it take for you to post a letter? And look, you haven’t even posted the letter the 1 hour you have been out.
Suppandi: I searched the whole town master. But all the post boxes were locked.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
Master: Suppandi, why have you put the spoilt mangoes in the sink. Put them in the dustbin. That’s where all spoiled thing’s go.
Suppandi: Yes Master.
Master: After throwing them in the dustbin go and get my son, Vijay from school.
After some time there were noises and screams for help coming from the kitchen.The Master rushed in.
Master: Suppandi, what do you think you are doing with my son by putting him into the dustbin?
Suppandi: Master, when I had gone to get him, his teacher told me that he was a spoiled brat. You only told me that all spoilt things go in the dustbin.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
One day Suppandi and his master were returning from somewhere in the intense heat.
Master: The sun has darkened our skins Suppandi.
Suppandi agreed. The next day-
Master: Suppandi! Get me a bottle of hair dye from the neighbouring store. After some time-
Master: Suppandi, didn’t you get that bottle.
Suppandi: I went to the shop, but then I had a brilliant idea. Why don’t you stand out in the sun. The sun will darken your hair.
June 20th, 2010 at 4:14 pm
One day Suppandi was playing football with his master’s son. He had been posted as goalkeeper. Then the opposition charged towards his goal and kicked the ball into the goal from right beside his legs. The masters son was boiling with anger.
Son: Why didn’t you stop the ball Suppandi?
Suppandi: Why in the world should I stop it? What is the net in the goal for?
June 20th, 2010 at 4:15 pm
Once Suppandi’s master’s book had been torn. Suppandi stitched it back with thread. His master advised him to use super glue to stitch or stick together anything as it gives better results.
Then One Day-
Master: Suppandi, iron my new and expensive suit as it has to be worn on the wedding tonight.
That evening-
Master: Suppandi, give me my suit.
Suppandi: Here it is.
Master: What has happened to it? What do you think you did to it?
Suppandi: The suit had been stitched together with thread, so I removed all the thread and stuck it together with super glue. Doesn’t it give a much better result.
Master: S-U-P-P-A-N-D-I!!!! You’re fired! Get out.
December 18th, 2010 at 10:08 am
Suppandi!!!What a silly man!!!!!!
January 9th, 2011 at 5:00 pm
master;suppandi,an apple day keeps the doctor away.
Next day
suppandi;master what happened why is your son c
crying
master;He has hurt his leg badly and he dosen,t want to go to the doctor.
Suppandi;don’t worry an apple day keeps the doctor away.
March 15th, 2011 at 7:23 pm
Boy:wassup,suppandi…….long time no see how come you didnt come to play football……
Suppandi:dude i was busy laofing around searching for a football….
March 19th, 2011 at 1:12 am
Suppandi’s master was a miser.
Master:Suppandi go and get me a bottle of hair oil and nothing but oil.
Suppandi:Ok master.
After a few minutes Suppandi returned with the oil.
Master:there was a price offer with this bottle of oil. Where is it?
Suppandi:Master the shopkeeper forced me to take the price but as you said Ibrought only oil and nothing else.
Master:Suppandiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!
March 19th, 2011 at 1:32 am
Suppandi’s master was worried.
Master:Ooh!There are so many bugs in the house.Suppandi go, buy a can of ‘BUG-OFF’ spray and spray it around the house so that all the bugs are destroyed.
Later-
Master:Oh,no!There is a bug in my computer. It will have to be cleaned out fast.
Suppandi:Master, do not fear. ‘BUG-OFF’ spray is here.
And Suppandi sprayed the ‘BUG-OFF’ spray on the computer.
Master: Sheesh!
March 19th, 2011 at 2:26 pm
Suppandi’s master and his wife was going to a party.
Master:Suppandi wash the car before going to the party.
Suppandi:Yes master.
After the car was washed.
Master:The car is sparkling clean Suppandi.
Suppandi’s master his wife got inside the car but the car was dripping.
Master:Suppandi why is the car dripping?
Suppandi:Sorry master,I forget to close the windows before washing.
Master:You are fired!
March 24th, 2011 at 10:58 pm
stupid suppandi
March 25th, 2011 at 1:08 pm
master: suppandi go to the market and by fruits for me and remember to always walk on your left
suppandi:ok
later
master:why did you not by the fruits??
suppandi master you told me to walk on the left but the market was at the right!!!!!
June 10th, 2011 at 3:47 pm
supandi….what a silly guy………….
June 17th, 2011 at 2:55 am
master was reading a book.the book pages torn.
master:suppandi get me a bottle of glue.
after giving glue.
suppandi:why you need glue?
master:to stick the pages back into book.
after a few weeks.
master: suppandi my hair is coming out.get a bottle of oil.
suppandi pour glue to master’s head.
master:why you pour glue to my head?
suppandi:to stick hair back to head.
June 17th, 2011 at 9:06 pm
suppandi you are a country fellow